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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel this way about work.

42 replies

Rosebel · 23/07/2021 22:21

Is there anyone who hates their job to the extent it makes them sick every morning before going in?
My husband reckons no one likes their job but he doesn't know I've been sick before work (it's not pregnancy or a bug as it's been going on for a while and I'm fine when I'm off work).
No point in saying anything though. My husband just says I can stop working there when I get a new job.
Due in work tomorrow and can feel my stomach churning.
No real point to this but wondered if anyone understands how shit it is to feel like this about a job?
Not really relevant but I could afford to be out of work for a while but if I don't get a job within six months I'd have to rely on my husband which isn't really fair.

OP posts:

MoreAloneTime · 24/07/2021 08:34

These situations can really creep up on you and make you doubt yourself. I was always wondering if I was just a whinger. It wasn't until I'd gone on mat leave and it had taken several rounds of recruitment to replace me due to lack of applicants (my role was nothing special) that I realized I'd been in an unreasonable situation.

HummingBeeBox · 24/07/2021 08:45

@MoreAloneTime I had a similar realisation when the company folded because the boss lost so many staff and the company tender and spent all the money on himself.

Original poster

Rosebel · 24/07/2021 10:00

Thanks it's sad to hear others have felt the same.
I am looking for a new job at the moment, hopefully doing something totally different to what I'm doing now. The job is stressful as targets are high and most people can't meet them. The main issue is one of the team leaders is horrible, really quite nasty but he's leaving in 3 weeks.
I don't know if things will be better then or not so I'm going to keep looking anyway. It does seem so disorganised and a bit toxic.
The posters saying about wishing they could get badly hurt so they didn't have to go to work is exactly how I feel.

OP posts:

livingwithbees · 24/07/2021 10:31

it’s just awful, if you’re looking for a new job and giving yourself a time limit to leave by you’re doing the best thing for yourself. I hope you feel less alone knowing that so many people here have felt the same way

RampantIvy · 24/07/2021 10:34

I once had an awful manager who used to bully me, so I know how you feel. Things did improve though.

Your DH is wrong. Loads of people enjoy their jobs. I love mine.

Good luck with the job search.

Original poster

Rosebel · 06/08/2021 23:15

Had a row with the team leader on Thursday as he wouldn't let me leave work early when I felt really sick. After refusing and going on he finally said I could go home if I really really had to but he'd rather I didn't.
I felt bullied so ended up staying but can't say I got much work done.
Back in tomorrow and really dreading having to face him. I absolutely can't wait until he leaves next Friday.
My husband said I should go on sick leave with work related stress at least until the team leader goes but I can't really afford to be off work and think it would be obvious about why I was off.
I'm applying for virtually any jobs going but no luck yet.

OP posts:

WhatAShilohPitt · 06/08/2021 23:28

Yes, including the feeling of wishing I could have an illness or car accident so I could be off work and they’d have no choice but to leave me alone. I was that stressed and miserable. I left and the feeling stopped instantly and I had the best sleep in years that night. As soon as you secure another job, the relief floods you.

moolady1977 · 06/08/2021 23:39

Op after reading your post I sat down and took a long look at my work life , my doctor has signed me off sick for 3 weeks after I rang and spoke to him and it all came out thankyou for giving me the courage to realise I'm not alone in how I feel and I needed some help

PizzaPiePizzaPie · 06/08/2021 23:41

I had a temporary job where I had diarrhoea every single working morning (not weekends) and they were desperate for me to take it on permanently. Nope.

BluebellsGreenbells · 06/08/2021 23:46

I’ve been there

The early morning I was waiting to turn out of a junction and prayed the lorry would swerve hit me preventing me going to work was unreal!

I handed in my notice - I got lucky and found a job I liked on my last day

GreenPixieHat · 06/08/2021 23:56

I once worked in an environment that was so utterly toxic that I used to imagine driving my car off the road in the way in as an excuse not to attend.

I found a MUCH better job and am much happier now.

Nat6999 · 07/08/2021 02:51

I was like that when I was working, never slept on a Sunday night, dreading going to work. I used to physically shake when I opened my Emails in case there was one from my manager. Annual leave meant I spent half the time worrying about when I went back to work. The day I went in for the final meeting that meant I would be fired was the happiest day of my working life, no more worries, no more feeling sick to the pit of my stomach. Yes I would have to manage on disability benefits but compared to how I used to feel it was nothing.

Cottagepieandpeas · 07/08/2021 07:15

Very sad stories here. It’s so difficult when a lot of us have to work because of the money.

I’ve always disliked my jobs to varying degrees, but I did feel like you OP, in the mid 00s, I had a 6 month contract at a charity. My manager bullied me from the beginning but I didn’t realise what was going on at first, blamed myself of course.

I left a couple of weeks before the contract finished, I’d luckily managed to find something else. The HR person emailed me and asked me if there was anything I wanted to talk to them about, so I’m pretty sure they knew about the bullying manager’s behaviour. I doubt I was his first victim.
I told them in an email what had happened and I think we exchanged a few emails. I think the manager carried on working there for a long time.

I was so relieved to get out.

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 07/08/2021 07:23

Sick leave is generally paid.
I've been in a similar position and wish i had/should have gone on sick leave.

In 10 years no one will care you took two weeks sick. Dont torture yourself needlessly.
It will also let you focus on the new job hunt.

Both times it happened it was retrospectively good as it was a catalyst to bigger things /better paid opportunities.

Good luck and remember it does get better!

ditavonteesed · 07/08/2021 07:39

My dh was like this, he got made redundant from a job he didn't like much and started this job, 3 months in it was making him ill, he left last week and I have my dh back. Of course I'm worried about money but I was more worried about dh and I'm so relieved he is not there anymore.

No job is worth this. None.

ThinWomansBrain · 07/08/2021 08:01

why not discuss this with your GP - if they sign you off with stress, you can have some time to get some distance and perspective, and think about what you want to do longer term.
You say that you could afford to be out of work for a while - if your current situation is so bad, it will make it hard for you to be positive in interviews for other roles - and also possibly desperate to take any alternative, so that you end up in a similar position. Do consider resigning to devote yourself to full time job search (with some time on the side to get your head together and rebuild your confidence).
My local council employs work coaches to help people in your situation, does yours offer anything?

DaisyRenton18 · 07/08/2021 08:02

I understand.

I quit, and managed to get a job in a completely different industry. Looking back I can't believe just how awful I felt all of the time for so long.

If a friend had told me she felt that way I'd have told her to get out asap, but I 'soldiered on' because I thought it was just me, it wasn't that bad, it would get better, lot of people don't like their jobs, better the devil you know, if I could just get better at certain tasks... And all the rest.

Anyway, those thoughts were wrong. Getting out of there changed my life, every area of it, for the better. Wishing you lots of luck OP and all of you in similar situations.

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