This is a strange one, but I have no one in my personal life that understands my feelings around this and I just sound so ungrateful.
Basically a decade ago my estranged father died. I went to the funeral where I met my biological half brother for the first time. There were 2 brothers on my dads side with different women.
Brother number 1 was pleasent but didn't have much interest in a long term relationship and neither did I. So we had a couple of weeks of finding out information about eachother we never knew, exchanged numbers and had no further contact since. We both had our own lives and families/friends so left it there.
Brother number 2 I will call John. Since the funeral John has made a LOT of effort to maintain contact and form a sibling relationship.
He has no other siblings and other Brother number 1 basically told him directly he wanted no further contact or relationship.
I on the other hand was open to keeping contact as I didn't mind either way really. However John over the years has become a nuisance although lovely.
He sends birthdays and Christmas cards and presents. He insists on traveling across the country to see me and wants me to see him which I have obliged on occasion due to a sense of duty/obligation to him after all the effort he puts in.
He rings me very regularly and makes it clear he wants an active role in my life as a sibling.
Now here is where I don't know if I am being an unreasonable ungrateful cow or if my reaction is normal/reasonable.
I already have siblings that I grew up with from my mother's side. I don't particularly get on with them and don't put in a fraction of the amount of time I feel I have to do for John. Me and my siblings don't ring eachother constantly and see eachother at Christmas at my mums and maybe once during the summer. We are all happy with this level of contact.
If my siblings were to start calling me like John does I could say to them 'stop annoying me and no harm done. We have that sort of relationship as raised together.
John essentially is a stranger I have little in common with other than the fact we have the same dad. The relationship feels forced and unnatural to me.
John has a wife and children and he tries to force some kind of 'auntie' role from me. He will ring me and put the kids of the phone to speak to their 'auntie'. But it's awkward for both me and the kids as I have met them a handful of times over the years. He'll send me handmade gifts from the children which is sweet but essentially feels like a strangers child's gift I'm expected to put on my mantelpiece and feel sentimental about.
I find myself avoiding calls from John and dread seeing texts pop up from him. It feels almost like a burden.
I keep telling myself to be grateful I have someone who genuinely cares and WANTS to see me and cares about my wellbeing.
But if I'm honest, the relationship is just awkward and unnatural as we weren't raised together and have nothing in common. It's a forced relationship.
I don't know if I am making any sense or if anyone understands.
I'd appreciate advice. Even if it's a kick up the ass to say I am ungrateful and selfish to feel this way and to keep making me effort.
I'm on my phone so apologies for any typos.