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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If someone sent you this message and now his ex moved in round the corner what would you do about it

60 replies

Keepthemusicgoing · 23/07/2021 18:16

I have NC. I have been on MN for some time, penis beaker etc

I had this message in my FB spam folder. Not friends on FB. Dated this guy for about 2 months a few YEARS ago. Ended badly as he was awful, I thought not handling divorce well but he ended up in rehab. He’s blocked me after sending it. I never said I was going travelling so that bit is weird…

His ex wife and kids have moved in round the corner from me, I recognised them when I walked past with my dog recently so I think he might know where I live and I might have to bump into him if he picks them up.

What would you do? Wear a hoodie and dark glasses when walking dog? Get my fat boyfriend to beat him up?

If someone sent you this message and now his ex moved in round the corner what would you do about it
OP posts:
DelilahDingleberry · 23/07/2021 18:18

Eh? Nothing. Just delete it. Your post sounds like you want to bump into him.

Bythemillpond · 23/07/2021 18:18

Maybe have a word to his ex wife that he might need some more rehab as he sounds unhinged

Original poster
Keepthemusicgoing · 23/07/2021 18:19

@DelilahDingleberry

Sorry I sound flippant about it but it does actually concern me to be honest it’s a horrible message

OP posts:
Whiskycav · 23/07/2021 18:21

Please don't go his ex wife

If an ex of my exhusband turned up on the doorstep asking about him, I would be furious

DelilahDingleberry · 23/07/2021 18:21

Concerns you how? He sounds like an immature idiot. He’s blocked you. Move on.

Whiskycav · 23/07/2021 18:22

When did he message that?:

LivingDeadGirlUK · 23/07/2021 18:23

He sounds drunk.

Theunamedcat · 23/07/2021 18:23

How does he even know its still your number?

Original poster
Keepthemusicgoing · 23/07/2021 18:23

No I won’t go to her

It concerns me that after about 5 years he’s taken the time to send me a horrible message for no reason at all

OP posts:
Original poster
Keepthemusicgoing · 23/07/2021 18:23

It’s not my number he’s looked me up on Facebook.

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 23/07/2021 18:24

Sorry I misread

Wjevtvha · 23/07/2021 18:24

Put it in my mental list/box of experience of people being really weird and bizarre and move on. Very odd but it says more about him than you and his ex living close is a non issue

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 23/07/2021 18:24

That's such a nasty text. What a weirdo. Why would he even be thinking about you enough to send a message like that.

CompleteBarstool · 23/07/2021 18:26

Jeez, sounds like you dodged a bullet there!

On a serious note I would just be aware that he might be around in your neighbourhood so that it doesn't throw you if you do bump into him.

And keep any messages

Original poster
Keepthemusicgoing · 23/07/2021 18:28

His ex is personally no issue to me, none of this is her fault or anything - more that I live so close and I think he’s seen me and might be in proximity to me if he sees his kids. So now I worry about him saying or doing anything? I can’t react as he’s blocked me and no way would I talk to his ex so I feel like I have to take my chances. I feel like he might say something if he saw me.

OP posts:
notasillysausage · 23/07/2021 18:28

What a shit message, ignore him OP and the horrible message. He is a massive weirdo! I’m guessing you ended it with him and he is a bitter little man.

peboh · 23/07/2021 18:29

I'd just ignore it, and not think on it any further.

romdowa · 23/07/2021 18:29

If you come across him in the street just ignore him and keep walking. Sounds like he could be mixing you up with someone else.

NiceGerbil · 23/07/2021 18:31

Would she recognise you?

If so I would be giving her big smiles and s nod.. I mean you have this dickhead in common!

Anyway. Was he stalky, controlling, threatening, violent or anything like that?

If not then ignore it.

If so its relevant to the thoughts you will get on here.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 23/07/2021 18:33

Keep the message. Just in case he sends more and you have to escalate things. I hope not but he sounds like an arse so you never know.

If you bump into him? Blank face.

If you meet in with his wife? He’s shown you why he has an ex-wife. Smile and be cheery but don’t mention him.

Some folk are just nasty bastards.

Rejoice in the fact you dodged that little bullet. Seriously.

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 23/07/2021 18:33

He's probably seen you, noticed you looked happy and it's pissed him off. You're supposed to be miserable without him you know!

HollowTalk · 23/07/2021 18:34

If you ever speak to his ex then I would mention it. Why keep his dirty secrets? It sounds as though he's confusing you with someone else who dumped him, too. He doesn't sound right, does he?

Daydrambeliever · 23/07/2021 18:36

Hurt people hurt people. He's lashing out at you...someone he professes to be glad to be shot of but is still thinking enough about to go to the trouble of searching on Facebook and abuse. You have been living rent free in his head and now he wants to live rent free in yours. Don't let him. Get rid of the message. Block him. And get on with your life without ever thinking about him again.

Original poster
Keepthemusicgoing · 23/07/2021 18:40

He was controlling and very angry when I knew him. He said he was going into rehab because of drugs and alcohol although I never saw him do either so I wasn’t sure whether it was even true and a way to try to manipulate me

OP posts:
Onlinedilema · 23/07/2021 18:42

My first thoughts; he's not very literate is he? his grammar is appauling.
Next he is a nasty piece of work.
If you see him I would call him out, let his ex and kids know what cunt he is. Say, "Don't ever contact me again, you freak, next time I will contact the police." Then walk away.
Make sure you block him on everything and review your social media settings to the highest security level.

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