How sensible are 6 year olds?

[Teenagehorrorbag]

Not really an AIBU, but interested to hear views.

On a different thread (about leaving children in hotel rooms, completely separate issue so please don't confuse the two.....) we were discussing what the risks were for leaving young children alone once asleep. My Dcs are older now and you forget, but it made me wonder what the average 6/7 year old is like in terms of common sense and safety etc?

Concerns raised included - pulling a hot kettle onto themselves (they would have had to heat it first), turning on taps and flooding the place, choking on a grape, strangling themselves on a blind cord, drinking vodka from the mini bar, leaving the room and getting lost, etc.

Obviously there are other issues related to being in a hotel room etc - but for the purposes of this thread I was just curious to know what might be general risks for a 6 year old after going to sleep at night.

Waking and illness etc is covered. Just wondering about day to day stuff......

You’ll have people say that it depends on the child. But I think even the most sensible child (and in that case there would be two of them) can unpredictably decide to do something silly or out of character. I was the most sensible and responsible child ever, but I honestly don’t think I could have been totally relied upon to not take it into my head to do something out of character at that age. So I don’t think it’s appropriate to leave children alone in that situation until probably early teenagehood.

Mine is very sensible but would be scared alone in a hotel room

@irresistibleoverwhelm

You’ll have people say that it depends on the child. But I think even the most sensible child (and in that case there would be two of them) can unpredictably decide to do something silly or out of character. I was the most sensible and responsible child ever, but I honestly don’t think I could have been totally relied upon to not take it into my head to do something out of character at that age. So I don’t think it’s appropriate to leave children alone in that situation until probably early teenagehood.

Seconded. I think even the most sensible ones can randomly decide to do something silly.

My DD6 has woken quite a few times and gone to my bedroom to find me not there and by the time she’s got downstairs and has found me she’s terrible upset even crying a couple of times as she has convinced herself or just so fearful I wasn’t there and had left her she’s even too scared to call me so when I’ve heard footsteps I’ve assumed they are her older sisters who has a much later bedtime.
She has two sisters too one younger who shares a room with her and a teenager whose room is right next to hers so when she’s fearing that I’m not there she knows her sisters are there but she still gets terrible upset fearing I’m not there.
So the child maybe getting scarred or worried or having a nightmare etc is a big reason for me not just the safety aspect, also these could contribute to a child doing something they normally wouldn’t like unlocking a door and wondering off to find you, opening a door to someone knocking, opening a window to see if they can hear you, following a adult down the street just to feel safe and not alone, at this age most of them are able to tell the time too, analog and dig and can see when an hour has past etc

My middle is 7. Very sensible but would be very scared & upset to wake & find themselves alone in a hotel room. The last time we traveled I had to leave him just to go & get a baggage trolly from the end of the corridor. He double locked the door & then panicked & couldn't work out how to unlock it. I had to call for hotel maintenance to come whilst talking to him through the door. Very stressful as we were leaving for a flight.

It has nothing to do with how sensible the child is.
At that age they shouldn’t be left alone in a strange place.
I understand that doesn’t fit into people’s enjoyment plans but when I imagine explaining it in a coroner’s court or to the police I always imagine how lame and completely pointless my needing to be in the bar would sound

YABU because you're trying to justify leaving your 6 year old asleep in a hotel room while you checked on them every half hour while having dinner downstairs. I don't think there was one other person on the thread that agreed with you. To the majority if parents that's neglectful behaviour and I'd be surprised if its even legal!

I was wondering that, too. I wouldn't leave children that young alone in a hotel room, but some of the "scenarios" presented did make me raise my eyebrows.

At home, I would happily leave DS at age 6 to it, as long as he had a bowl and a spoon, he could get his own breakfast and make me a coffee (kettle is turned off at the plug, so it was a cold coffee)

I wouldn't leave him alone in a strange place, it has nothing to do with the whole being kidnapped, being strangled on a cord etc, its the fact that if he woke up in a strange place, he might be scared if he couldn't find me and that is something I couldn't square with myself when I know there is something I could do about it e.g. Not leave him alone in the room

Mine was the world's most sensible child but would have been terrified to be alone. When you are little, you have no sense of time so to be alone for 5 minutes would feel like a very long time. At home, during daylight, fine. At night, in a strange place, lazy parenting.

I have 6 year old twins.

If say they was an adjoining door and they knew I was next door and they had food, Netflix and a few toys they'd be happy for hours and wouldn't notice the kettle etc. They're pretty sensible and I regularly leave them downstairs together in a morning on a weekend whilst I lie in/ go to the garage to work out.

I'd still have to be in earshot/ they need to be able to find me though as if they get scared they need you immediately or they'll get very distressed.

It varies so much from child to child. My 5 year old is placid, sensible and calm but does occasionally panic - not enough to hurt herself but to go from watching tv to doing loud, wet, open-mouthed crying in the blink of an eye. My 7 year old is a much more curious and energetic child (and also easily distracted) so is more likely to eg cut their hair or flood a sink, even though doesn't ever do anything "naughty" for naughty's sake.

Obviously would never ever leave them alone (or even worse, together!!) in a hotel room as they aren't mature enough to recognise an emergency situation in time to act appropriately.

My 6 year old is very well behaved and cautious but as others have said would certainly panic at being alone in a strange place.

I’m confident he wouldn’t boil a kettle then tip it on himself but he might scald himself on a tap he wasn’t to I suppose.

I don’t really understand this thread though, are we meant to just list awful things that might happen to small children?

Ah, it seems you are trying to justify locking your child in a hotel room while alone.

Young children have a very poor concept of time, a child locked in a strange place alone would think they were being left for hours waiting for their parents to check on them again.

We went to Iceland last week, when I put my son to bed I left his door open and a light on so it would be easier for him to get up and find me. He ended up in the en-suite, the door shut behind him leaving him in the dark, he of course panicked as he couldn’t find his way out. From him starting to scream to me opening the door was less than a minute, imagine if he’d been there for half an hour.

If a fire alarm goes off that child has to attempt to navigate the hotel alone to get outside, why anyone parent would choose to put their child in that position is beyond me.

Security is a big issue, you have no idea how many people have a key/card to open the door, many of us have had the situation where a stranger has opened a hotel room door due to being allocated the same room by mistake, who would want to risk their child being in a hotel room and woken by a stranger?

If they’re not old enough to be left home alone, they’re not old enough to be left in a hotel room alone.

When things are right and safe you really don’t need to commit time to justify your actions.

I was an incredibly sensible child, my infant school teacher once commented that she could leave the school and my cousin and I would run it perfectly - I think she was partially joking.

BUT

My parents used to go to an annual 'do' and we (brother and I) went to the hotel and stayed in the room.

The first time we got room service, watched TV and went to bed.

The next year er... well another couple had brought their children so we had fun, going down a corridor, blindfolding and spinning one of us who then had to try to find their way back, I'm not sure what time we went back to one of the rooms but management called because of complaints from people in the room below us. There was an incident with the TV, after which it didn't work.

Of course we were asleep in bed by the time the parents came back.

The year after we were teamed up with another couple of children, this time we went to the restaurant.

I believe we ran up quite a bill.

The next year we were taken to the actual 'do'.

I first time we stayed I think I was 9 or 10.

And I've just remembered before that, my dad worked evenings, my mum and the next door neighbour decided to do an evening class so ndn's son would come round and we were, well I suppose we were expected to watch TV and get ready for bed.

We got up to all sorts, from pretending we were in the jungle trying to find the sauce of a river (one bucker emptying from my brother's top bunk into another bucket).

We watched the TV series 'Gangster's' which I seem to remember had a lot of violence and a couple of strippers who just happened to be in the background of every episode. It certainly wasn't suitable for children. I would have been about 7 or 8.

omnibus.home.blog/2019/05/05/once-upon-a-time-in-birmingham-philip-martins-gangsters/

My 7 year old is more likely to have an accident now than when he was 4. He’s more sensible but less cautious.

I have two DDs. At 6yo, the eldest could have been left for several hours unsupervised and not got into any trouble. (I know this as I went through a series of severe migraines so I was physically there but not exactly much use). She would probably read her book if left in a hotel room alone

Younger DD... shes 8 now and still does silly things impulsively. She would probably see being left in a hotel room as a great reason to explore.

In an emergency like the fire alarm going off.... First DD would probably put the covers over her head and stay there... unless she had been specifically told what to leave the building by us. She wouldn't answer the door to anyone.
Second DD, the impulsive one, would go to find put whats happening (and probably look for a hose so she could help the fire fighters!)

You want another thread to justify leaving your child alone?

No it’s not ok. My 6 year old would be unlikely to pour a kettle over themselves, however very likely to get very upset if they woke and couldn’t find us. It wouldn’t suprise me if they tried to get out the room to try and find you, then could easily get lost.

Just don’t do it.

One of mine very sensible and would be happy alone at home at that age, not sure about a hotel room. Don't think she would have liked it due to fear. The other child is only 5 but I can't see me thinking about leaving her for a very long time!

Depends on the child.

Mostly these threats are rubbish and hysterical.

When I go to bed I sleep right through. I don't get up. I don't pour a kettle of hot water on myself, or drink vodka. Do you? Do you know anyone that does? Do you know any kid that ever has. Nope.

Both mine are very sensible, very content, self assured, non anxious. Mine never wake up in the night, don't have bad dreams, don't get up. Sleep through.

Yes they are older teens now. But even at 6 they were both very sensible.

What's the risk?

It's an interesting question. My DD is 5. I would never, ever leave her alone in a hotel room. However my worries are about other people and fire. There is a chance she would wake up ill or spill water over her bed or similar. She definitely wouldn't be boiling kettles or climbing out windows!

My 5.5 is totally variable. Sometimes sensible, sometimes a total rogue. And we kind of celebrate that a bit - I had such pressure on me to ‘be a good girl’ as a child that has affected me negatively as an adult. I think it’s good not to expect them to be too adult too young. In a hotel alone I’d not expect her to use the kettle, but who knows? When staying at her grans where the boundaries are shite, she’s been known to get up in the night and fetch a snack for her and her sister! Kind of sweet but she’d know to never do that at home. Like others have said, she’s be terrified to wake up alone, and kids don’t always behave as they would usually when in new situations and under stress.

My dd was exceptionally sensible at that age. I'm as certain as I could possibly be that she wouldn't have gone boiling kettles, drinking stuff from the minibar etc. There is absolutely no fucking way I would have left her on her own in a hotel room at that age, though. It's totally irresponsible.

I do think it depends on the child, one of mine is ridiculous sensible. Even as a baby/toddler he never did anything dangerous eg putting random stuff in his mouth, climbing etc then I had more dc & realised why people stress about toddlers! 😆

But yes agree with pp my eldest would still be scared in a hotel room alone.

My 5 year old can be sensible but there's no way I would leave him alone in a hotel room or anywhere strange by himself. He would become upset if he woke and me or dp weren't there. At home when he wakes up he will happily play in his room until we wake up though he usually gets over excited and wakes me up. He will open our door to see if we're awake.