How sensible are 6 year olds?

[Teenagehorrorbag]

Not really an AIBU, but interested to hear views.

On a different thread (about leaving children in hotel rooms, completely separate issue so please don't confuse the two.....) we were discussing what the risks were for leaving young children alone once asleep. My Dcs are older now and you forget, but it made me wonder what the average 6/7 year old is like in terms of common sense and safety etc?

Concerns raised included - pulling a hot kettle onto themselves (they would have had to heat it first), turning on taps and flooding the place, choking on a grape, strangling themselves on a blind cord, drinking vodka from the mini bar, leaving the room and getting lost, etc.

Obviously there are other issues related to being in a hotel room etc - but for the purposes of this thread I was just curious to know what might be general risks for a 6 year old after going to sleep at night.

Waking and illness etc is covered. Just wondering about day to day stuff......

Like others, this was done to us when we were 6 and 8 - parents used to go to an annual do and first year we were left alone in the hotel room. We were so scared up there, afraid of fire, of everything. We went down to the dance in the end in our nighties to find them. Subsequent years I think they had someone sit with us. Another time we pooled with another family, I remember us kids playing Murder In The Dark in their hotel room.

I actually wrote a short story about the experience a few years ago.

Not that I'm condoning or suggesting leaving children in hotel rooms.

But. Ok mn most dc seem to be incredibly anxious, or sillily inquisitive.

Don't parents talk to kids about what to do? In these circumstances.

At a young age I left my ds's alone. To start with it'd be to go to garage, or tidy the shed, or later to pop to the shops. 5 minutes. Then building up to 1/2 an hour.

Then I'd build it up to half a day at work. None of this they batted an eyelid at.

Most others MN'ers don't leave theirs for a millisecond.

They never moved. They say glued to the tv until I came back. Years later it was the x box. I swear I could've been gone a couple of days and if I'd left a sandwich on the side, they probably wouldn't have noticed my absence.

It would seem that after the case on the news all those years ago, people became paranoid about leaving their kids, generally, but I don't think that's healthy. But now it's just too extreme.

Really depends. Mine were pretty predictable by 6, they certainly could follow rules and actually would have been fine in a hotel room, not that we ever did - I was the kind of parent who let them stay up until midnight or fall asleep on a pile of coats under tables!

We used adjoining rooms in hotels or had a suite & had no issues.

I think we did a baby listening service once but I couldn't relax so went & got them.

I only saw the first few pages of the last thread.

Taking your thread at face value, I am often perplexed by the perceived threats Mumsnet seems to reel off when it comes to children and supervision.

The concerns listed are often things I think must be so vanishingly unlikely, that the person’s risk assessment is awry.

From the adult being hit by a car when crossing the road to the corner shop opposite, to the stairs spontaneously combusting, to 8 year olds choking on ice cream.

My 7 year old is pretty good. She’s sensible, can manage risk appropriately for her age. In general, she is trustable not to flood the kitchen, boil a kettle and pour it, or down the contents of the drink trolley. Less trusted not to use too much PVA glue on her art projects and accidentally glue her creations to her carpet!

I often feel like very laid back parents when I read MN. I remember the poster who still took their 4 year old to the loo with them; in their own house!!! I’ve never forgotten that, it struck me as so worried. Similarly, so many claim to be “overprotective and I know it”; and I do wonder if they realise that this over protectiveness is not totally harmless. Perhaps not as immediately risky as mildly neglectful parenting, but it’s long term impacts can be more harmful.

6vyo children are not usually awake to the realities of the world. They don't reliably distinguish between fantasy and real life. They have extremely limited life experience. They are still very vulnerable.

If left alone, even sleeping, they are probably going to be perfectly safe and perfectly sensible if they should wake, but if something went wrong they would have limited ability to cope and keep themselves safe.

Fire, nightmares and sudden sickness would be top of my list of worries. Imagine a fire and not being able to reach them...

No competent parent would risk it. Social services would investigate if they were alerted. If anything happened, parents could face prosecution.

I think the biggest risk is them wandering off to find you, and getting lost.

At a young age I left my ds's alone. To start with it'd be to go to garage, or tidy the shed, or later to pop to the shops. 5 minutes. Then building up to 1/2 an hour.

Well yes obviously most parents are doing those things (I assume)... Popping to the garage or the end of the garden is surely something that happens most days? I peg my washing out and leave my 2 year old "home alone". But he's in easy shouting distance, knows where I am and I leave the back door open. I pick my moment when the kid perhaps has a bag of Wotsits on the go and is watching a favourite programme.

There is a gigantic difference between building up in a safe way to kids being home, in a familiar environment, alone and leaving a SIX YEAR OLD in a hotel room. Surely inquisitiveness and capacity for mischief are greater somewhere "new" for a start, before you add the fear / energency factor.

I think you mean how sensible are the parents. No 6 year old is safe left without adult supervision and you shouldn't have to ask.

So variable. My DS is only 4 but v sensible. In the unlikely event he woke up, he would probably be scared, but wouldnt do anything. If awake long enough my biggest worry might be that he would try to leave the room to find us - I can imagine the hotel door shutting locked behind him and us finding him crying in the corridor. We would never leave him in a hotel room unattended like that.

Concerns raised included - pulling a hot kettle onto themselves (they would have had to heat it first), I can def imagine my son's friend's trying to make a hot drink if they woke up / make one for their sibling. They dont have to pull it on themselves, just spill it when pouring
turning on taps and flooding the place, mine loves Playing in water, def the type to make his toys a bath. Also attention of a gnat so could easily walk off and forget
choking on a grape, well same for any food really - that's not about being sensible
strangling themselves on a blind cord kids tbat age dont think through consequences. Could definitely imagine kids my sons age playing with the blind cords. It only takes one slip...,
drinking vodka from the mini bar, I'd imagine one sip cos it's all they could find would put them off but...
leaving the room and getting lost, etc. Probably the most likely if they wake up and are scared / need something and would be my biggest concern

See also going out onto the balcony / the window trying to find parent.

Ps his friend would be less sensible. He is not a cautious child and would 100% get himself into a mess or worse faffing about with things he'd been told not to touch

My 6 year old is very sensible but I still wouldn't leave her alone in a hotel room.

I believe you should arrange some childcare in this situation and it would be neglectful behaviour. I don't have kids and am quite liberal usually but this crosses the line for me personally.

At a young age I left my ds's alone. To start with it'd be to go to garage, or tidy the shed, or later to pop to the shops. 5 minutes. Then building up to 1/2 an hour.

Then I'd build it up to half a day at work. None of this they batted an eyelid at.

4(?) hours to a 6 year old is forever though. And it isn't about them not being sensible or you talking it through, there's just so much opportunity for something unexpected and ues unlikely but possible to happen

@SueGeneris

Like others, this was done to us when we were 6 and 8 - parents used to go to an annual do and first year we were left alone in the hotel room. We were so scared up there, afraid of fire, of everything. We went down to the dance in the end in our nighties to find them. Subsequent years I think they had someone sit with us. Another time we pooled with another family, I remember us kids playing Murder In The Dark in their hotel room.

I actually wrote a short story about the experience a few years ago.

Are you... Margaret Atwood?! 😲

My six year old could run a house entirely by herself. She can make cups of tea, make food, use the washing machine etc. I still wouldn’t leave her alone in a hotel room. Even I wouldn’t like being alone in a strange hotel room and im 27!

My son was the flakiest kid around, hyperactive, low attention span, etc. The first time I left him alone in the house, warily and briefly, he was 12 or 13. Don't answer the door. Don't use the cooker. Don't make a hot drink, etc, I'll be 10 minutes I'm just going to the corner shop over there. I was out for approx 12 minutes and returned to find my kitchen in flames (Don't use the cooker) and son in the garden obliviously chatting to the window cleaner (Don't answer the door) drinking a cup of tea (kettle) having left his forgotten toast under the grill where the flames from the burning toast had already set fire to the dodgy contiboard wall covering left by the previous resident. I took a very deep breath because I should have known better. My fault. Children are different. Don't leave them in unsafe situations.

my youngest is just 7 and he's pretty reliable OF THE THINGS WE'VE DISCUSSED ALREADY.

I had to shout that because that's the crux of the matter.
he knows he's not allowed so hee wouldn't: use a kettle, go out the front door, eat medicine, play with matches or knives, flood the bathroom etc.

But I have no idea how he would react to events we've not covered.
I didn't think he and 9 yo DD would tear up an entire cardboard box in the bath that an older brother chucked in there to annoy them. I also didn't think the older brother would do such a knobhead thing🙄🤬

so the problem is not the predictable things, but the unpredictable ones.
so no, I wouldn't leave him alone with a twin.

If the room is next to yours, then I expect they would be fine -if they’re happy to be left. However, I wouldn’t leave mine alone.

Hmmm, my son is 6 and 'sensible' BUT i wouldnt leave him alone in a strange place. If he was left in bed with his ipad or playing playstation he probably wouldnt even notice i was gone tbh but i could never.

It’s very common for primary aged children not to wake when a fire alarm sounds. I know our smoke alarm malfunctioned and DSs (8 and 5) slept through it. That alone would stop me. I’ve been in hotels twice where the fire alarm has gone off (thankfully false alarms) so I don’t think it’s that uncommon.

DS1 I’d have trusted. DS2…not so much!

It all depends on the particular child. Dd1 is 6 and so sensible. She understands reason, she thinks before she does things, is very considerate and can understand consequences. But she is also 6 so can decide to pour milk from breakfast cereal into cups on the table or pull all the flowers off a plant in the garden.

At 6 they also wouldn't understand an emergency. A fire alarm and knock at the door would be as likely to maker her hide in a cupboard as to understand the need to evacuate.

Mine has just turned 7.
He can make a cuppa without supervision, I can leave him at home for 10 mins by himself, he’s not stupid, although he can do silly things at times. Funnily enough he has never tried to climb out of windows/played with a cord or tipped boiling water on himself. He’s always doing daft things like letting the Guinea pigs out or getting a nose
Bleed all over the house (and I mean all over)
I could probably leave him in a hotel room for up to 10 mins by himself as long as he was occupied with something (like an Xbox/on the phone with his friend etc), but no more than that, just in case.

My sister was excellent, I was an absolute nutter.

It varies child to child but whether they’re wreck it Ralph or a child prodigy they’re still too young to be left in a hotel room for the night.