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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask him what is so funny?

38 replies

MiaMarshmallows · 22/07/2021 22:08

A male colleague of mine will occasionally laugh as he greets me in person. Like I have had to open the main gate for him and he will ask how I am and I will reply but sometimes he will just laugh Hmm.
It makes me feel really self conscious and that he is laughing at my face or expressions. I am very unattractive physically so it's playing on my mind. Aibu to ask him what is so funny?

OP posts:
Macncheeseballs · 22/07/2021 22:11

Yeah he's a twat

amelema · 22/07/2021 22:11

He's the weirdo don't worry about it.

Thankgoodness1 · 22/07/2021 22:11

Does he laugh with everyone or just you? Is it just a weird trait that he has due to some form of social anxiety? If so, don’t worry about it. If it is definitely just with you, I would ask him why he laughs each time he sees you.
I must say, it sounds like you’re being exceptionally harsh on yourself when you say you are physically unattractive.

Notimeforaname · 22/07/2021 22:12

I know people who do that,they find small talk a bit hard. It could be a nervous thing

amelema · 22/07/2021 22:12

Also see if it was because you were physically unattractive then I doubt he would laugh about it to your face.

Original poster
MiaMarshmallows · 22/07/2021 22:17

He is as I see it, different with everyone else and does not laugh.
It's not like a full on laughing attack, more of a giggle but it's very unnerving.
I do think he is laughing at me as to how I look and want to address that with him as it is not fair.

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 22/07/2021 22:17

That's terrible. It can really set someone on edge. I would ask him next time what's funny. That said, when you say you are very physically unattractive... what leads to you this conclusion?

warmandtoasty2day · 22/07/2021 22:17

I doubt it's because of how you look, he could be socially awkward.

Notimeforaname · 22/07/2021 22:18

Why are you so sure it's about your looks ?

Original poster
MiaMarshmallows · 22/07/2021 22:19

That can be the only reason he laughs to be honest especially as he is not a shy person.
I am just very ugly physically but wish people wouldn't make it obvious

OP posts:
LunaNorth · 22/07/2021 22:20

I think you’re projecting. It won’t be about you.

LawnFever · 22/07/2021 22:21

Are you sure it’s not a nervous laugh?

A colleague of mine does this she just laughs at everything all the time when nothing is funny, she did it all through a meeting earlier - I just ignore it now.

jimmyhill · 22/07/2021 22:22

If you genuinely think you are so ugly that he is repeatedly laughing at you... then that is such an illogical idea that I think you really have to question your perception of what's going on

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 22/07/2021 22:24

Sounds like the bloke staying in the Travel Tavern in I'm Alan Partridge who just laughs randomly.

I would look concerned and say 'oh dear, are you ok?' Treat it as something weird he's doing, not weirdness on your part he's reacting to, if you see what I mean.

Dontwatchfootball · 22/07/2021 22:29

@MiaMarshmallows

That can be the only reason he laughs to be honest especially as he is not a shy person. I am just very ugly physically but wish people wouldn't make it obvious
Ok, well it is clear from this that you feel very self conscious about how you look. I really doubt he is laughing about how you look - people laugh because they want to bond with others. He could be a wanker who is mean, but it is much more likely that this is how he is trying to establish a connection to you.
mrwalkensir · 22/07/2021 22:33

I tend to laugh at things that are delightful eg how gorgeous my cousin looked at her wedding. It may well be that he's just fond of you, so it's a similar reaction.

Wolfiefan · 22/07/2021 22:34

I can not believe that it’s anything to do with how attractive you are. (And I bet you aren’t being even slightly fair to yourself.)
More likely he’s awkward. Can’t think what to say to you. Trying to be friendly but not having a clue how to manage it with someone he doesn’t know very well.
Maybe you seem uncomfortable around him as you don’t feel confident and he’s trying (badly) to put you at your ease.
But it’s him. Not you. Flowers

CarnationCat · 22/07/2021 22:36

He probably fancies you and it's a nervous laugh.

Original poster
MiaMarshmallows · 22/07/2021 22:42

Definitely does not fancy me. He has a stunning wife.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 22/07/2021 22:44

Doesn’t mean he doesn’t think you’re lovely and doesn’t know what to say to you.
You are more than your looks OP. Which aren’t what you think they are I bet.

ChelseaCat · 22/07/2021 22:49

Does he struggle with his hearing perhaps? Maybe a small laugh is his response when he hasn’t quite heard what was said?

pocoyoyoyo · 22/07/2021 23:02

My sister does this and it's really irritating, it took me a while to realise she's just an awkward person. I genuinely thought she was laughing at me but she does it with other people although not everyone. I think she's self conscious and a bit anxious

HopeYourHighHorseBucks · 22/07/2021 23:07

My hearing is terrible. My go to responses are "ahh nice" "oh really" or a little chuckle depending on the situation, when I dont want to ask them to repeat it, especially if the answer is a generic one "I'm good thanks"

If he is doing it to you every day then I think hes being bullyish and you should just cut it dead next time. Why are you laughing? Should do it.

HalzTangz · 22/07/2021 23:12

Could it be a nervous laugh, in that he likes likes you, and not just likes you?

HalzTangz · 22/07/2021 23:17

@MiaMarshmallows

Definitely does not fancy me. He has a stunning wife.
Hi running wife might have a ugly nasty personality. He might think you are a lovely person.

I find it a bit weird that you are obsessing on looks (yours and others).

I would also hazard a guess he laughs when talking to others to, but your not seeing it as your convinced he's laughing at your looks