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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset at him?

32 replies

RainbowBriteUk · 22/07/2021 19:50

I have started seeing my ex again. We have been getting on really well. We met for a date last weekend and talked about seeing each other again this weekend and he said he had nothing at all on, so all was good, we could arrange something.

I made noises about arranging something a few days back and suddenly he's busy all weekend. He's away for two weekends after this weekend so I won't see him for three weeks. I got a bit miffed at this and commented that he'd said he had a completely free weekend when I saw him and he said something about just because he'd said that, it just meant he didn't have anything planned but had lots to do.

He eventually said he would be free Saturday afternoon and some of Sunday daytime. I then said that was good and we could do something Saturday afternoon. He then immediately text back that he was now meeting his family for the afternoon. So that was Saturday afternoon out. I also mentioned I could stay over at his, and have stayed many times in the past when we were together but he said it was too soon for that, even in his spare room as I had suggested.

I got really upset and called him out on being unavailable and if he wasn't interested to just say so. He said he definitely is interested. TBH without being boasty, he is punching above his weight.

AIBU to be upset at his behaviour? It feels like he's challenging me.

OP posts:
acolderwar · 22/07/2021 20:05

Please don't embarrass or humiliate yourself any further. Disengage with him completely, he is not interested.

RainbowBriteUk · 22/07/2021 20:07

@acolderwar he insists he is interested but shows it so little. I don't know what i've done so wrong.

OP posts:
Michellexxx · 22/07/2021 20:09

Agree with above. Do not bend to his demands. He should be making time to see you, or asking you when you’re free. He’s not, and you’re giving him all the power here.
Go find someone who isn’t punching quite so much!

Horst · 22/07/2021 20:09

Just leave it. Honestly just enjoying you chasing him. If he wants you he will sort it.

NotanothernamechangeforMN · 22/07/2021 20:10

If he was interested, he'd make more effort for you by making time for you. He's an ex for a reason. Time to move on. You are better than that. Flowers

Wrenna · 22/07/2021 20:12

I’ve found that ex’s are ex’s for a reason. I know some relationships can come back from being broken up but I think the majority of them can’t, the same issues keep cropping up. You’ve done nothing wrong! It’s totally him…sounds like he wants to keep you on the back burner.

girlmom21 · 22/07/2021 20:14

YABU being upset because some people aren't worth that amount of mental energy. Bin him off and find someone who is!

Windmeneckin · 22/07/2021 20:14

I am sorry to say that whatever he says about being interested his behaviour doesn't support this. You sound very genuine and trusting and deserve someone who wouldn't respond to you as he has. Look after yourself and don't let his putting you off knock your confidence.

PurpleWaterBlue · 22/07/2021 20:15

Did you dump him?

Wound his male ego in the splitting process?

Is it possible this a bit of messing you about for his own petty vengeful purposes?

Holothane · 22/07/2021 20:16

Get rid and keep him rid, he’s not worth your time or energy.

RainbowBriteUk · 22/07/2021 20:17

He is so ignorant.

OP posts:
billy1966 · 22/07/2021 20:19

He is making a tit out of you.

Do not humiliate yourself.

Block and move on.

MittensOnKittens03 · 22/07/2021 20:20

I think you should remember why he was an ex… I wouldn’t waste any more time on him

thepeopleversuswork · 22/07/2021 20:20

He's really not interested OP. If he was, he'd be clearing his diary for you. At best he's feeling some mild regret, at worst he's after an easy shag. If you make time in your diary for this man and chase him for commitment he isn't prepared to give you will just damage your own self esteem.

Cut ties, move on.

EmoIsntDead · 22/07/2021 20:21

Mate… he’s just not that into you

Crimblecrumble1990 · 22/07/2021 20:22

I'm sorry but if he was into you, he would be bending over backwards to see you. Especially since you are in 'honeymoon' phase if you have just started seeing each other again.

ohthatbloodycat · 22/07/2021 20:23

Exes are exes for a reason.
If you do insist on getting back with him, for goodness sake take it slow!
He has a life, and you're being too needy.

TSSDNCOP · 22/07/2021 20:26

I have started seeing my ex again

As DM always says "ex for a reason, never look back"

Ilovetea33 · 22/07/2021 20:28

"and he said something about just because he'd said that, it just meant he didn't have anything planned but had lots to do." So "lots to do" more important than you. He's just stringing you along. Let him go and find somebody who is really interested in you and can't wait to see you.

RainbowBriteUk · 22/07/2021 20:28

I told him i'm going to leave him to it. He replied that he was going to give me a day and time he was free tonight but that it's obviously too late now because i've kicked off and ended it.

OP posts:
LittleBirdBlu · 22/07/2021 20:34

He turned it round to being your fault things have gone wrong. He's a dick snd you're better off blocking him now

RainbowBriteUk · 22/07/2021 20:39

@LittleBirdBlu He turns things round a lot

OP posts:
PatchworkElmer · 22/07/2021 20:49

Don’t reply OP.

girlmom21 · 22/07/2021 20:51

He replied that he was going to give me a day and time he was free tonight

Because everything has to be on his terms? Knob.

Unanananana · 22/07/2021 20:51

Why are you pecking after his crumbs? Is that what you think you are worth?

You are worth more. There must be reasons he is an ex. Sounds like he should definately stay that way.