To ask if you have misophonia or sensitive to neighbour music/loud music

[vogue87]

what are your mental coping mechanisms? I believe I have misophonia so hoping to get some tips from others who suffer.

I cannot do headphones or earphones but white noise or fan helps me block out the physical noise. But even if I have successfully covered the noise and cant hear it I am thinking about it! and then find myself trying to listen for it

So I mean more mental coping mechanisms, is there anything you do to help you calm down and focus and make your brain ignore it? Do you have any tips?

It has been an awful summer of noise so far and I struggle so so badly with loud music from other people it absolutely makes meltdown, it is miserable. I am hoping other people might have some tips to help me cope.

If I could pay to retrain my brain to not care I absolutely would in a heart beat

My neighbour is now undertaking stop/start power washing of their garden. It’s a rare beautiful day here but I’ve had to come indoors and shut all my windows. I can’t get my music loud enough to cover it. I could cry. I have a lovely detached house that I was so excited to get but unfortunately live in a particularly Inconsiderate part of the estate. Irs just me and my ds here and we are pretty quiet. I’d just like to read my book in peace for once

I hope your dinner party goes well OP, at least if they did kick off you could sort of say, look this is what I have to deal with and people will be sympathetic.

I've found that actually helps me, talking to people about the neighbour noise. I recorded it on my phone to show my friend how bad is.

My neighbours garden is filling up and just am so anxious already. I am sweating and feel so stressed.
I am aware that it is an over reaction but I have convinced myself that this is going to be an ongoing issue now that lockdown is over.
I am angry at myself and just wish I could get a grip .

For me the worst noise is from people who have phone notification sounds and phone keyboard sounds. My phone is always on silent. I honestly want to harm people who don't have their phones on silent. OP if it bothers you so much the answer is noise cancelling headphones. Surely they are worth not being miserable or having meltdowns.

I think I have misophonia too - ever since I was a child I couldn’t understand how people could study while they were listening to music (with words, calming instrumentals on their own are ok). I also find it really hard to have a conversation if there is other talking going on in the background, eg a radio - it drives me mad!! Funny how others have commented on people eating apples - that’s a trigger for me too!

thanks @everyleafy, im really pleased to report that there was no noise from ndn, i think they were out as i heard them banging about much later once my family had gone. im so relieved, it also made me feel so much more relaxed and less anxious having family back in my home, it felt like it helped my brain put everything into perspective for me if only for a little while but it helped

i think ive realised aswell that im struggling so much atm because i live in a 'not so great' area but we have always been lucky that its been pretty quiet, we could nearly always sit in our small garden and just hear the birds singing, maybe the odd bit of diy from somewhere. but just generally really quiet. so i always felt able to say/think ' well at least its quiet here more often than not'.

but now everytime i go outside i can hear a drum and bass beat coming from somewhere, honestly every day and can often can hear it indoors if i have the windows open too. sometimes louder than others, but its constant. so i think new people must have moved in somewhere on the estate. but its all i can hear and it sets my heart racing.

and immediate ndn, who have always been generally noisy, have got much noiser over the past 2 yrs, with loud music from teenagers, diy, noisy parties etc

@flapjackfairy how did it turn out for you in the end? hope everything was quiet for you

@ufucoffee people who use keypad tones are utter utter bastards.

@vogue87
To be honest they weren't making much noise but my fear they might do overwhelmed me and I was on edge all night . Didn't sleep well either.
I am aware in the cold light of day that I am overreacting but just can't stop the emotional reaction brought on by the fight and flight reflex. It is a truly horrible feeling isn't it. ?
Anyway I am going to try and practice mindfulness and cbt more actively because I am aware that the issue is mostly in my mind.
Thanks for asking BTW. It helps to feel others get it and I'm notalone in this.

@flapjackfairy really pleased to hear they that were quiet! i can relate to everything you said there so much, i went out for a nice lunch with friends yesterday had a great time and on the journey back started to feel sick and anxious worrying i would come home to noise. spent the evening on edge and was really snappy and horrible to my DH as a result. its awful.

you're definitely not alone in this x

I can't believe I found this thread, I think I have this.. Having terrible issues with our neighbours next door, we are no longer on speaking terms... They fell out with us as we complained to them about raising our shared fence to nearly 3 meters without our permission or planning permission... They sprayed me with a garden hose while I was sitting out reading my book... After that incident we installed cctv cameras & they called the police saying the camera was overlooking their garden... The police verified it wasn't when they came to the house.... Now they are mentally torturing us by playing their music 24 hours a day beside our fence.....

@Zuchon
That is terrible. It really is stress inducing. I really wish they would pass strong laws to prevent nuisance noise. I remember your thread about being soaked by the garden hose. Disgusting.
They cant play music all night under current laws can they anyway ? Perhaps you could keep reporting that. Are other neighbours affected ? Do you have a residents group who could offer support. I know it isnt any help but I really do understand your anxiety. X

It's awful, really distressing... Right now their stereo is playing trance music & it's right up against our fence but low enough for just us to hear... Their gazebo is in darkness & they are inside... Its complete mind games... They want us to retaliate in some shape or form...

Yes music has been on continuously since 8am Wednesday morning...

How old are they? If they are young what about one of those devices that gives off a high pitched sound to deter teenagers from gathering. Or I would seriously buy the loudest garden strimmer I could get and put it on every time they started this nonense. What absolute tossers. I dont understand why anyone would stop so low . Do noise cancelling headphones work ?

@Macncheeseballs

Genuine question, why can't people wear headphones

Because I have autism and can't bear to have anything on my head or in my ears. I use headphones only when I have to for meetings. I can't wear hats or bear anyone touching my head. Getting my hair cut takes all of my patience.

And I have a particular sensitivity to noise but an undersensitivity to smells.

Autism - the gift that never starts giving.

Hello fellow noise sensitives. I'm also autistic so I can be insanely sensitive to noises but some I can zone out more effectively than others. Other people's music or tv noise coming through the walls is actual torture for me.

In our previous home a new upstairs neighbour moved in who stomped around what felt like day and night and the building was really bad for impact noise. Within a couple of months I was a crying wreck and would get rushes of adrenaline every time I heard her.

In the end we moved to a detached house. We were incredibly lucky that we were in a position to do so and I would happily live on dry bread and tap water to pay my mortgage if it means I don't have to tolerate other people's noise.

For me it’s a number of things, I don’t know if I have misophonia but my reactions to noise seem quite out of proportion - I literally can’t stand my colleagues eating around me and those who take personal calls in my space or don’t mute text notifications also infuriate me. I don’t do/say anything though, just silently seethe or huff and puff a lot 🙄

But noisy neighbours are something else, my current one is an absolute bitch - I’ve been woken up this morning by her slamming doors and dogs barking, later it will be a screaming tow with her daughter or drunken mates sitting right outside my back door or god knows what else. I know people can do what they like in their own homes etc etc but she is just beyond inconsiderate and I hate her. Again I don’t say anything though, too scared of making it worse so I just sleep in earplugs and feel sad that I can’t relax in my own home.

I am aware though that a lot of this is down to my issues with control. People are ridiculously inconsiderate these days but I am also increasingly intolerant. I wish I knew how to fix myself 🙁

I would not medicalise/pathologise the perfectly normal dislike of antisocial noise making. It is not acceptable to make a choice to subject other people to your noise. People do it too much in this country because other people allow them to, by not complaining to the councils and not using our perfectly serviceable laws. I have done both and it has worked, but you need to be strong and persistent and take the attitude that you are not going to be walked over.

It's awful, we both own our own homes... This evening the minute he saw me in the garden he put the music blaring & went back inside.... I saw red & went down to the bottom of the garden & said to a neighbour I didn't even know that it's not us playing the music... Its psychological warfare & we're not winning....

I am glad im not the only one hahahha...i suffer really bad when the neighbours play loud music. i honestly feel like i am about to breakdown and cry. i hate that i get to that level. i have been reporting to the council though. i do put my TV on netflix and just let a random show play if my husband is not already watching something. i dread being home alone at times as i dont cope well. i struggle to block out people talking outside my house too. i am getting my windows replaced soon as i have really old windows. hopefuly that will allow me to have some quiet. atm it seems like my windows are constantly open as all the sound pours through. but theyre not they are just rubbish.