Is anyone else just done with people?

[Rosalie21]

I feel like I lack the assertiveness needed to survive in the workplace. I’m seriously considering working from home, where I don’t have to see anybody. I’m quite a loner as it is.

I’ve been temping in a pre school, and I think my quiet nature hasn’t really made the best impression. I do try and be firm like if the kids are doing something they shouldn’t I will tell them, but I am quite quiet and softly spoken which I think doesn’t do me any favours.
There was a woman who’s also agency and who’s been there for a whole week longer than me. She’s not a room leader or anything but she kept bossing me about, yet I didn’t see her bossing the other agency staff about. She also kept handing me things and saying “put that in the kitchen”. “Go and put that there” etc no please or thank you.

In the end, I just stopped doing what she asked and just ignored it. She was saying “can you do that for me” and I just thought, do you think you’re my manager? I wouldn’t mind if she had seniority and was also giving orders to the other lady.

I heard the room leader whisper “she needs a rocket under her arse” presumably about me.

I was engaging with the kids and I did what was asked of me. I wasn’t just sat doing nothing. I have only been in that class a couple of days so still getting used to it, but just felt like I didn’t fit in there.

I’ve had this in a few jobs, where non superiors try to boss me about. I do hate being told what to do, and I hate being told off in front of other colleagues like a naughty child.

What I found a little rude was that yesterday when another temp left the room leader said, thanks for all your help, you’ve been brilliant.
When I left, she didn’t even say thanks.
I won’t be going back there. I just feel useless in the workplace and an easy target. Just had enough, I probably sound pathetic, anyone else?

Yeah I feel like I’m not suited to this age group maybe. I seemed to do a lot better in primary schools and had positive feedback.

If you’re temping or agency I think you can expect to be told what to do, at least until you get the hang of it and nolonger need prompting.

When I was in my late teens and early 20s I did lots of temp work whilst studying (offices, care homes etc) and I made no effort to connect with my new colleagues. They were older than me, I was shy and a bit scatty, and some of them took a real dislike to me. Looking back I would have had a much happier time if I’d tried to engage with them, chat, asked questions and got to know people! If you don’t make the effort at the start people often get suspicious or think you look down on them.

Also you need to be aware of team dynamics, and see the bigger picture. See where you fit in the team, be proactive chatting to colleagues or suggesting new ideas. Try to see things from their perspectives, ask their opinions etc.

Some teams just have a bullying culture and no temp should have to put up with that.

But other times temps rub everyone up the wrong way, often through no fault of their own. Being very quiet and introverted can be a downfall if people perceive it as being aloof or not a team player.

Ordering someone around is rude, but why didn’t you pull her up on it? If a new temp/student or colleague ordered me to do something I might let it pass once but if she did it a second time I’d say something like ‘Are you ok? You seem very stressed today!’ A third time and I’d have a sarcastic comeback ready.

An aside, but probably an important one. People on this thread, as in so many others, are using ‘introverted’ to mean quiet and a bit shy. Introvert and extrovert are terms for describing where you get your energy. Introverts recharge by spending quiet time alone, away from people. Extroverts recharge by spending time with others. Either group might be quiet or loud in the workplace, might be good team players or not.

How you choose to behave at work is not down to where you get your energy. We all need to adapt our behaviour to meet the expectations of our workplace. It’s just that after work, the introverts will then go home and shut the curtains and not want to talk to anyone else for the rest of the day, while the extroverts head to the pub and chat with other people to relax and recharge.