Annoyed with school

[HelpMeToHelpDD]

DD is 7, just finished year 2.

They finished for summer on Friday. DD has some medical needs which means medications are kept at school (think inhalers and pain killers plus epipens and similar – DD has severe asthma triggered by both hayfever and hot weather and also triggered by the cold weather. She’s also got an insect allergy that causes antiphalictic shock. There’s also a painful condition which school give pain relief for)

The medicines have not come home. According to DD they were in the side pouch of her bag at afternoon playtime but when I picked her up there weren’t there. I can only assume as DD keeps her water bottle in her other side pouch she’s pulled the stuff out, realised it’s not her bottle and without thinking put it down.

Without them she cannot go to holiday club. Usually I take the ones from school to holiday club then replace everything right before she goes back to school.

She’s been off holiday club this week due to not having the stuff. Next week I have a big meeting I need her in holiday club for as it’s all day and a train ride away.

DD has some SN, and in previous years they’ve either got me to pick the stuff up from the school office or handed it to me as I walk through the gates. Apparently Year 2 and up they don’t do this but with her SN I thought they’d treat her as if she was a younger child – I am assuming she put the stuff in her pouch not realising what it is, I generally don’t carry the pain relief around with me for obvious reasons so she’s probably not even recognised that.

Apparently DD is not the only child in the class to come out without her medicine. I emailed school as soon as we got in before the gates are apparently shut for pickup for the older children (Ys3-6) but got the out of office response. I then called but got a phone message saying the office is closed until September – usually the secretary works until 4.30pm and responds to message and phonecalls until about 5 minutes before that time.

I’ve called the GP to get an emergency reissue but not having much luck actually getting hold of the medicine, remembering I’d usually ask for the reissue as a general prescription so they have 6-8 weeks to source things and there’s always a few weeks leeway with her previous ones if they can’t before school starts.

I have the pain relief as it’s over the counter, and I have the physical epipens and inhalers but I’ve removed them from boxes and thrown boxes away for storage at home so I can’t even send those into holiday club and ask for them back everyday. The home ones go between here and ExHs house so not even a spare supply anywhere.

AIBU to be annoyed with school? And AIBU to ask how on earth I can get her into holiday club next week?

I’m a single parent and if I lose my job because of this then DD will be unable to continue her extra curricular activities that keep her so well and help not just her SN but her medical issues too.

Please help.

Will add here school are generally great and manage DD with her issues well. I've never had direct contact details for her teacher or I'd have emailed her instead.

They should have handed them to you at pickup time. How can a child be expected to organise this?

I always have a school set, a home set and a back up set of all emergency medications. Things like epi pens should be in pairs anyway

I’m just thinking if you do get hold of the school caretaker they might not be able to find them anyway! Especially if you think your DD had them and then they dropped out. It could have been in the playground or on the walk home even so you might not get them back at all.

Could the GP or pharmacy not print instructions out/how much to take/side effects etc and sign it saying it’s legit?

I know a lot of things like medicine instructions you can print off the internet but they probably want to see proof that it is prescribed by a doctor.

I work in a school office and we always hand medication to parents as we wouldn't want to risk it going missing or getting into the wrong hands. Email the school - I promise you some staff will still be working even if remotely.

Also you say you’re a single parent and exH is on the scene so could he possibly look after her for the day of the meeting until you get this all sorted?
Obviously it doesn’t solve the problem but it might ease your stress a bit more knowing that day is sorted.

I work in a school. Several posters have suggested OP go on local Facebook pages in the hope that someone who knows a member of school staff will put her in touch with them. I hope no one I'm friends with would give out my details to a random parent from school, but if I got a message from a friend or acquaintance explaining OP's situation I would definitely try to help. All I would do is offer to email the caretakers with OP's contact details and ask them to get in touch with her though. I wouldn't get involved beyond that as in the nicest way possible, I'm on leave and I'm busy with my own small children. I couldn't guarantee that a caretaker would see the email and respond urgently. I also wouldn't be able to give any assurances that the medications would be found, or that if they were found they would still be in usable condition. They could already have been disposed of for all we know. For this reason I think OP would be better off concentrating her efforts on trying to obtain new medication. Even medications that are prescribed very infrequently can normally be ordered for collection within 47 hours.

HNRTT but many school websites list the governors' contact details and as these tend to include non-teachers, they might reply to emails more quickly and be able to get hold of the caretaker/head teacher to confirm how to get the items.

Good luck.

@MotionActivatedDog

I’m sure if OP explained the situation they wouldn’t exclude the child for lack of original boxes. If they did I’d be making a public stink about it.

But they could be anybody’s medications! The parent could have bought them off the internet, they could be fake, anything. Unless there’s evidence they’ve been prescribed for the child, no carer would risk medicating that child.

Might reply to emails more quickly as they might not have left on holiday after term ends like many teachers tend to.

The school gave her the medication, sounds like she lost it .
Knowing how important it is why didn’t you check her bag on the way out ?

@toocold54

Also you say you’re a single parent and exH is on the scene so could he possibly look after her for the day of the meeting until you get this all sorted? Obviously it doesn’t solve the problem but it might ease your stress a bit more knowing that day is sorted.

Unofrtunately not we use holiday clubs because we both work fulltime, he won't have DD in the week at all

Do you not have a spare set ? What does she use when not at school?

Where do you think the medicines are if your DD had them in her bag? Surely if they were found in the grounds and clearly labelled, you would have been contacted?

I hope no other child has picked them up. Could be potentially so dangerous for them - and another reason why medications should only be collected by adults.

Holiday club have said only the prescribed medicines need to have pharmacy labels on, and things like the spacer which can be picked up on Amazon is fine to be a generic one (which is useful as the one she gets with her inhalers doesn't suit her so I use a different one) which makes sense.

I have found the contact details for the caretaker on the school website under "If access is required to school outside of these times" so I will contact him and see if he has any suggestions. He will likely have the personal number of the headteacher/deputy headteacher so able to authorise access, or look himself.

Chemists have issued the inhalers. Pain medicine is less of a problem as I can give her a dose in the morning as she goes in and she should manage until hometime without it (she often does at school and she's doing similar times) as it's summer and she has less pain in summer in general.

Just got to source the epipens, I'm not sure what new brand the GP has issued but it's worth a shot. I'll ring round all the chemists in the county if i have to.

Literally call the GP and explain what's happened. There's no need to be this dramatic. Perhaps you should have checked before taking her home on the last day that the medication was in her bag? Just a thought 🤷

You're not going to lose your job. Worst case you'll need to book a babysitter to look after DD at home if she can't go to holiday club because of this.

Your regular pharmacy should be able to print a label for tne epipen

Seems strange that you post here that you’ve found the caretakers contact details - - and WILL contact him - would you not just contact him before posting here??

In all probability these meds are in the school, wherever they are stored, the school probably expected parents to arrange to collect them and no-one noticed you hadn’t or checked what was left there.

Just got to source the epipens, I'm not sure what new brand the GP has issued but it's worth a shot.

Or just call the GP and ask them to re-write the prescription with the name of the medicine itself, not a brand name. They do this all the time, it's not a big deal.

The number of people unable to read ” I’ve called the GP to get an emergency reissue but not having much luck actually getting hold of the medicine” and understand there’s a supply issue with the medication on this thread is quite something.

The number of people unable to read ” I’ve called the GP to get an emergency reissue but not having much luck actually getting hold of the medicine” and understand there’s a supply issue with the medication on this thread is quite something.

But she's then said the issue is not with the medication, but the particular brand that the GP has named on the prescription. So if this is the case all she needs to do is ask to re-write it.

This has really rattled me! If it's so very important that your DD has her medicine to enable her to go to holiday club so you can work, then it is absolutely your responsibility alone to make sure she doesn't leave school without it. Not a 7 year old's responsibility and not the school's responsibility either. I can appreciate how annoying and inconvenient it must be and how it's scuppered your plans. But why can't you admit that it's actually your fault? We all make mistakes. You made one. Own it. Don't try and blame others.

@Washimal

The number of people unable to read ” I’ve called the GP to get an emergency reissue but not having much luck actually getting hold of the medicine” and understand there’s a supply issue with the medication on this thread is quite something.

But she's then said the issue is not with the medication, but the particular brand that the GP has named on the prescription. So if this is the case all she needs to do is ask to re-write it.

Which is why I didn’t comment about anyone suggesting that she ask the GP for a rewrite.

Just the ones blatantly incapable of reading what was written.

(Though the rewrite may not actually help as quickly as people think - there is a major ongoing supply issue with epipens that’s not specific to one make)

@Herecomethedaffodils

This has really rattled me! If it's so very important that your DD has her medicine to enable her to go to holiday club so you can work, then it is absolutely your responsibility alone to make sure she doesn't leave school without it. Not a 7 year old's responsibility and not the school's responsibility either. I can appreciate how annoying and inconvenient it must be and how it's scuppered your plans. But why can't you admit that it's actually your fault? We all make mistakes. You made one. Own it. Don't try and blame others.

It is my fault for assuming it was in her bag when it wasn't, I should of checked before she left. I agree with that.

I will however challenge school policy over giving medicine to a 7 year old to look after on the last day of term.

The more I think about it, the more it just seems very unlikely that what was described happened.

Seems highly unlikely to me that school just gave a 7 year old her meds to put in her bag and sort out, that could then be lost in school and no-one would notice. This just isn’t how it all works.

I wonder if Op told her DD to get the meds and only after getting home asked her about them and that DD made up a story because she had forgotten about them and didn’t want to say so. Or I wonder if OP didn’t even mention the meds until they got home and only then asked if she had them (without really considering if school would just pass them to a child) and DD then said the stuff about them being in her bag but no longer there.

The whole thing of school just randomly handing them over to a small child part way trhorough afternoon, and them somehow being lost in school, just doesn’t quite sound right.

Op, what is the usual process at the end of a term for returning the medication? Are you saying they always just give it to your child to sort out?

In reality, what is more likely is that parent is expected to ask for the meds….perhaps the office or the class teacher, and then they are handed to parent. But Op forgot to do this and only remembered once home. Perhaps a little ranting led to child creating a story about the meds…who knows really.

Op, do you feel any sense of responsibility for the fact the meds are still in school?

And I do think there is quite a lot of catastrophising going on. Instead of lots of posting on MN and drama about losing the job, a couple of emails and calls to school (rather than comments about PLANNING to email the caretaker) could retrieve them (hopefully with an apology for getting staff members back into school) and a few emails or calls could access another set of the meds, which lets face it…are needed anyway, so this kind of issue doesn’t happen again.

The problem can be solved. Meds can be got from school and also via Docfors and no-one will lose their job. If parents need to take meds home at end of term, it is their responsibility to ask for them and physically check they have got them before leaving the premises. School has a duty to keep the meds safe on school premises, but unless specifically requested to hand them over to a named individual at the end of a specific term date, they would not be expected to be gathering and tracking down parents on the last day and re-distributing what is probably many multiple sets of meds.