New strategy for DH and housework

[Carrotcakefiend]

Over the years I feel I have stealth ended up doing most of the housework and all of the house management. Sure many of you have been here. Today, I have a "day off" work. DH is WFH today but has been in the office for the rest of this week.

I shall spend today doing the shopping, cleaning (with the new mop I ordered yesterday because our dog ate the old one, and DH just said "dogs eaten the mop") and looking after our toddler.

I get that it's my friends coming this weekend but I feel I do just as much usually, and he also signed up to the having children game, and I have to deal with all this shit while I work too. Yesterday I was at work all day and also took in 3 parcels, a carpenter job, and tried to shop DD from weeing in the tomato plants, while on a conference call.

I'm done. So, my AIBU... Can I stop asking and nagging him and simply start doing one small job 3 weeks after we need it, and then talk about it for the next month? Also, can I really just leave my dish on the side with the magical words "I'll empty the dishwasher later" and then use the joint account to get takeout when the magic washing up maid has fucked off to get her nails done?

Thoughts?

I don't think all households do share money, judging from a fair bit of reading threads on here. But the fact is, if it takes 2 people 2 hours a week to clean (for argument's sake), that's one person x 4 hours, 2 people x 2 hours or one person x 2 hours plus cleaner for 2 hours to take the place of the lazy non cleaning person. They are substituting money for their labour.

Where household labour strikes fall down is that the parent who cares more (generally the mum) will not want DC to live in squalor, have no clean uniform etc.

tallduck what happens if you have visitors?

Forgot to add that DH does do those chores, as he realised early on they won’t get done by me. So house is clean for visitors.

Read Fair Play by Eve Rodsky

This is the reason I will never move in with DP.

I don't clean or tidy up after my own kids let alone a man.

You say he works long hours - how much disparity is there between yours/his work hours?