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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend is being ridiculous?

33 replies

vorahn · 21/07/2021 18:42

I've name changed incase my friend is on here.

DD is 14, almost 15. She's been with her boyfriend for a few months. He's got a very big family so he babysits the younger children regularly. Today, DD messaged me and asked if her boyfriend could come back here. I said yes and they brought a 1yo back, he's a baby her boyfriend was babysitting, her boyfriend said he didn't want the baby to be out in the sun (which was sensible) I was fine with this and they looked after the baby by themselves, they fed him etc. My friend popped in and they were outside, my friend asked who the baby was and I told her that DD was babysitting him with her boyfriend. My friend then said I shouldn't have allowed this as it could make them want a baby (Hmm).

Wibu for allowing this? Or was my friend being ridiculous?

OP posts:
Purplepeoniesdroppingpetals · 21/07/2021 18:44

I would have thought looking after a small child in this heat would really put them off.

BlatantlyNameChanged · 21/07/2021 18:45

Your friend is being ridiculous, based on every 1yo I've ever met its more likely to encourage them not to have a baby.

Cherrysoup · 21/07/2021 18:45

Your friend is being ridiculous. If anything, it’ll put off your dd-isn’t that why they make them look after those electronic babies in some schools?

LucindaJane · 21/07/2021 18:46

Yeah I don't think it will make them want a baby. I mean, they might want one in the future, but kost likely it will show then that young children are joyous, but hard work.

Aquamarine1029 · 21/07/2021 18:46

Your friend is silly but I would not have allowed your daughter's boyfriend to bring someone else's baby into my home, at least not with having express permission from the parents.

cookiesandcreamm · 21/07/2021 18:47

Your friend is being ridiculous

IfIwasablackbird · 21/07/2021 18:48

Is the boyfriend the same age? I cannot imagine letting a 15 year old look after a 1 year old.

Candleabra · 21/07/2021 18:48

Was the baby the boyfriend's younger sibling,?
If not, i agree as the parent of the child I wouldn't be happy

Candleabra · 21/07/2021 18:49

But LOL at the thought that looking after a baby would make you want one aged 14....quite the opposite.

Freecuthbert · 21/07/2021 18:50

Yes, your friend is being ridiculous. If anything it'll put them off wanting a child.

cochineal7 · 21/07/2021 18:50

Was it his sibling? I would have wanted permission from the parents to take baby to someone else’s house to be honest. The ‘wanting a baby if you look after a baby’ idea is ridiculous.

HariboBrenshnio · 21/07/2021 18:50

I'd say this was a great way to guarantee they wouldn't be having a baby!

Neondisco · 21/07/2021 18:53

@BlatantlyNameChanged

Your friend is being ridiculous, based on every 1yo I've ever met its more likely to encourage them not to have a baby.
This times a million. Actually looking after a baby is the type of hard work most 16 year ilss don't want to do! I think it shows how sensible the boyfriend is if he can be trusted with a baby.
plodalong12 · 21/07/2021 18:54

@Aquamarine1029

Your friend is silly but I would not have allowed your daughter's boyfriend to bring someone else's baby into my home, at least not with having express permission from the parents.
Completely agree with this. Imagine if something terrible had happened? The blame and accusations would be thrown towards the adult OP, not the children. I would not have been pleased if they turned up with a 1 year old baby without asking. If I was caught off guard or they’d travelled a distance in the sun I might have allowed it on one occasion but would be saying to my child afterwards in no uncertain terms to not do that again without asking first.
Original poster
vorahn · 21/07/2021 18:58

Yes, it's his sibling. Her boyfriend has just turned 16.

OP posts:
Arepeoplereallycoolaboutthis · 21/07/2021 18:59

As a teenager I used to babysit my then boyfriend's nephews and nieces with him. We would often comment on how sweet and lovely they were. My boyfriend would talk about when we have children one day and what pregnancy would be like bla bla bla. But despite all of this it was never something either of us immediately wanted/planned.

MrsCrosbyNRTB · 21/07/2021 18:59

God more likely to put them off! I used to say I’d loan out toddler DS3 to secondary schools as he was seriously good contraception (He’s lovely now. Mostly)

kowari · 21/07/2021 19:01

@IfIwasablackbird

Is the boyfriend the same age? I cannot imagine letting a 15 year old look after a 1 year old.
Some 15 year olds have their own one year olds. It's a toddler not a newborn, and if it's their sibling or other family member they regularly care for then I'm sure they know how to look after the child. I was looking after my sister when we were 14 and three, and cared for her (supervised and played with her, made bottles, changed nappies, did bath time and so on) with a adult in the house from when she was a baby.
BiBabbles · 21/07/2021 19:01

Your friend is being a bit silly. I don't know many who would find babies appealing after dealing with one, especially in this weather.

Caring for my baby cousins at that age, even with someone I was dating, (along with being in church nursery even younger) did not make me want kids. It made me quite bleh to the prospect for a few years. I think it's good for teens to have that type of experience (though the previous mention about talking to the parents is a good one).

pilates · 21/07/2021 19:06

More likely put them off. I couldn’t imagine letting 15/16 year olds look after my baby even if the baby is a sibling and considering they’ve only been together a few months too 😲

JustLyra · 21/07/2021 19:08

Your friend is being ridiculous.

Babysitting is a good thing for teens to do imo.

I8toys · 21/07/2021 19:18

I'm more concerned about the baby. Do the parents know he is taking him to random houses?

Hankunamatata · 21/07/2021 19:19

Totally normal esp in big families. He has probably been changing nappies since he was in primary

Babynames2 · 21/07/2021 19:25

Most of my cousins had babies/young children when I was this age, as I was much younger than them. I spent a lot of time from about 12-18 babysitting babies and toddlers. It put me off having one of my own. The best thing was that I could hand my cousins kids back after a while.

girlmom21 · 21/07/2021 19:29

Your friend is bonkers.