to not want to pay for my ticket

[FishintheStream]

I am a member at a museum. I pay a (relatively large) sum of money annually which means myself and a guest can go to exhibitions without paying. I invited a friend to come to an exhibition with me. She said yes please, and then invited a mutual friend to join us. I said to both of them in a group chat that the extra ticket would be £20. They both said that was fine. I booked the tickets and paid the £20. The friend I had originally invited said, “thanks, that’s £6.50 each then” and they both immediately sent me £6.50! I feel so petty quibbling over £7, so I am not going to, but I really feel that I have already paid for the two tickets in the cost of my membership (they are not just “free”) and now I have to pay because my friend invited someone else AND I have ended up 50p more out of pocket because my friend can’t do maths! I will definitely make them buy me coffee and cake on the day, but AIBU to feel a bit put out?

'I don't think coffee and cake will cost more than £4'
Not the point of this thread, but when did you last have coffee and cake in a nice museum cafe?
Considered taking out a small mortgage last time I rashly said 'My treat!' to a couple of friends...

I think it’s easier to sort out the money now rather than having to give hints about coffee and cake on the day. And effectively the OP has paid for two tickets (her own and the “free” extra and more than a third of the third ticket) as part of the large cost of being a member. She’s effectively paid £46.50. (20 + 20 + 6.50).

@CeeceeBloomingdale

I'd let this one go as it sounds like a misunderstanding rather than CF actions. I like to treat my friends so I'd just think of it as something nice I was doing for them.

If it's a misunderstanding then surely the friends would WANT to know that they've made a mistake. I would if I were them.

You should have been more specific. 'Friends, I bought those tickets, it's £10 each'.

If you'd said to me the cost was £20 I'd assume it'd be split three ways too. Next time tell them how much it is per ticket, not the overall cost.

YABU to sit and seethe when you could correct them in 10 seconds.

I cannot for the life of me understand how they got to share the ticket between the 3 of you

What kind of CF would do that, when you mention the EXTRA ticket.

“thanks, that’s £6.50 each then”
I would just reply, oh no, it's for the extra ticket, mine already paid separately as part of membership. Which it is.

@CoRhona

You should have been more specific. 'Friends, I bought those tickets, it's £10 each'.

If you'd said to me the cost was £20 I'd assume it'd be split three ways too. Next time tell them how much it is per ticket, not the overall cost.

not really, it's not on the OP to decide if her first friend wants to pay for the extra ticket or not. They arrange that between themselves. The cost of the extra ticket should have been enough.

I can't get over this.

Not only did they assume you would pay more, they rounded down the amount they had to pay! Leaving your cost 50p higher than theirs, on top of the fact you've paid for two tickets already!

Get them tellt 😉

I would definitely have done this if I’d seen the message before they sent me the money, but it feels so petty to ask them each to send me £3.50 now

Ffs it’s not petty! They probably didn’t think about it like that. Stop being a walk over and worrying what others think. Why should you pay for someone else. You are technically paying for you, your friend and a third of friend of friend!

I think I would say something

'oi cheeky! You seem to have forgotten that I've already paid for two of these tickets and now I'm paying towards the third too 😂. Coffee and cakes are on you guys!'

Keep it light.

@pleasedonttextmyman but it wasn't clear at all, hence the confusion as to who paid what.

Op, just be upfront next time. Tell them 'you need to pay x'.

Oooooh I can see your dilemma but I’d say something. I think they should transfer you the £3.50.

What more than a few people in your position would have done would be to say "It's £20 per ticket" and then pay one £20 for the third ticket and pocket the second £20.

I'm not saying it's what a friend should necessarily do, but both of the inclusive tickets were only available because of your already having paid for them.

@Andylion

Thanks for the £6.50 but I think you've misunderstood: I already have bought a ticket for x exhibition for myself. The £20 is the extra cost for you two.

Except isn't the £20 just for the third ticket?

Yes, if I was person 3 I’d assume I was paying £20. This is beyond cheeky. Make sure you get £7 worth of coffee and cake from them, OP. That’s easy enough at London gallery/museum prices.

Sorry but I’m struggling to get past the fact they invited someone else 1- without checking it was ok & 2- clarifying the cost implication.

This is my issue too.
I have a couple of museum/gallery memberships that allow me and a guest in for free. Have invited bigger groups of people a few times and I split the cost between us all, including me. People (even those who are not really close friends) ALWAYS want to know what it'll cost them and me and are very grateful when I say I've pooled the free entries (insisting upfront on paying for coffee and cake etc.)

But the 3rd person knows they have to pay £20.
They are just chancing their arm
I would have to say it to them

They’re your friends, I couldn’t get wound up over it. I’d write it off as a kind gesture. A good deed. I wouldn’t begrudge friends getting excited over an exhibition for a few pounds. The first friend offering the money in her head was polite. I don’t think any harm was meant. Let it go and enjoy the time with your friends. Life is too short

@Marmite27

I’d be putting them straight.

‘Friend, I’ve already paid for my ticket as part of my membership. It’s an extra £20 for an extra person to come along. If you’re both splitting the cost, it’s £10 each, not £6.50.’

This.

@GintyMcGinty

If you can afford to pay a (relatively large) sum of money annually then you are probably not on the breadline.

I think you are being tight. £6.50 to enjoy your friends' company is really not worth getting wound up about.

Try to let it go or you will not enjoy your day out.

What?

You have no idea of the op's situation and it's irrelevant anyway.

Just a thought - some people will prioritise things that you may consider a luxury. Maybe they go without other things and this is their only extravagance.

I think you might have to let it go this time - because your friend took you by surprise with her 'three way split' announcement, so it kind of looks as if you've agreed to that. But definitely heavily encourage them to buy you coffee and cake. And next time be ready to say 'that will be £10 each for you two as I've already paid for my ticket in my expensive membership' you arithmetically challenged freeloaders

I would let this one slide but certainly say to your friend that next time she invites someone they have to pay for their own ticket as your membership only covers you and one other person.
Explain you are already paying so don't want to be paying twice.

YANBU.

I have a similar membership and pay extra for member + guest. So you’ve already paid for your friend at your invitation. If she wants to invite her friend then that’s her cost not yours.

She’s been quite rude actually. Don’t buy them coffee in the members’ room!

@GintyMcGinty

If you can afford to pay a (relatively large) sum of money annually then you are probably not on the breadline.

I think you are being tight. £6.50 to enjoy your friends' company is really not worth getting wound up about.

Try to let it go or you will not enjoy your day out.

Ginny, OP has already paid for her own ticket through her membership. The first friend has got a free ticket through OPs membership. The second friends ticket is not available through the membership , therefore £20.00 needs to be paid. Since friend one is getting a free ticket it seems only fair that friends 1 and 2 sort the third ticket between them. Even if they pay £10 each they are both getting a bargain.