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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think the contract tracing system is open to abuse?

62 replies

ContactTraced · 20/07/2021 06:04

NC for this as it’s slightly identifiable; and also was probably obvious to everyone but me before today…

DSD stays at ours from Saturday afternoon until Tuesday morning. She left for school last Tuesday as per normal, went to school Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and then was due to come to ours again when DH got a phone call from his ex.

She had developed symptoms on Friday night; done a lateral flow test on Sat morning and it had been positive. Everyone in the house then did one too, and DSD was also positive. Obviously DSD was then isolating so didn’t come to ours.

DSD’s PCR came through on Sunday as positive.

Now… it’s DS’s wedding on Saturday. Already been postponed from last July. The ex was texting on Sunday night being quite gleeful about DH and “The bitch” missing this wedding due to isolation.

DH simply said we handnt been in contact with DSD 48hrs before so wouldn’t be isolating. On Monday we get a phone call from track and trace telling us to isolate as we’ve had contact with a positive case in the last 48hrs… clearly DH’s ex taking pleasure in making us miss the wedding… I’m ringing back this morning to appeal…as I was too distraught to do so yesterday.

But it made me think just how open to abuse the whole system is. What if, for example, I had a grudge against a small business and I tested positive? All I’d have to do is say I was a contact of the entire staff and that’s that business gone… I could go down the phone book to find people I don’t like and sentence them to 10 days house arrest with no repercussions!

Before anyone asks, I’ve had both my jabs, stuck to the rules as best I can, continue to wear a mask even now and will isolate until I have hopefully successfully disputed the contact.

OP posts:
BoomChicka · 20/07/2021 15:42

Absolutely no way would I miss the wedding and if you do you will regret it. Keep the texts, write the contact dates down in your calendar now whilst it's fresh and crack on. As a pp said deal with any fine/appeal if and when it happens.

Potpourri23 · 20/07/2021 15:44

Of course you should go to the wedding! The law is on your side! And even if it wasn't I think it would be worth the risk!

Magenta82 · 20/07/2021 15:49

There is a £1000 fine for malicious reporting. I'd go to the wedding, if I got fined I'd appeal. Might be wise to gather your proof beforehand though.

AquaTorfana · 20/07/2021 15:54

Go to the wedding. Like PP have said, if you do get fined you can appeal the fine in court and you wouldn't have to pay right away.

Don't miss this because of her.

SarahMused · 20/07/2021 16:06

Why don’t you tell the ex that you are reporting her for making a malicious report and that she could be in for a big fine if she hadn’t told the truth. That might be enough to get her to back off. How well do you think she knows the law? If she finds out you can be reported for this that could be a deterrent.

MadeForThis · 20/07/2021 16:11

I would go to the wedding. You can prove you didn't have contact.

I would also report her for malicious reporting. This will also support your appeal if caught.

funinthesun19 · 20/07/2021 16:11

Make sure you go and have a great time at your DS’s wedding and get loads of beautiful pictures.

I’d even be tempted to send her one on the day as a big fuck you.

Mummyoflittledragon · 20/07/2021 16:16

Go to the wedding op. Report her for malicious reporting. Not sure where you do that but it must be possible. Nasty woman. Hope she gets the 1k fine.

ButteringMyArse · 20/07/2021 16:17

Yes, of course it's wide open to abuse. Most common is going to be people not mentioning or mentioning loved ones as contacts because of that loved one's request. But obviously it can be used as a mechanism of control and revenge too.

Frankola · 20/07/2021 16:27

Go to the wedding and report this as malicious contact.

I'd then tell her you've reported her for this.

Evil woman

funinthesun19 · 20/07/2021 16:36

I really hope this all backfires for her and she gets a nice big fine.

Swishswish26 · 20/07/2021 16:39

I can’t believe what I’m reading. What a despicable person she is. Please go to your DS wedding. You are not a contact and yes you are right, the whole system is open to abuse.
I would definitely report her and tell her that you have… I believe there is a large fine.
Do not let her win under any circumstances.

Bootskates · 20/07/2021 16:42

I would go to the wedding....

I'm just thinking though, if she was to get a hefty fine, can she afford it? Not for her sake but DSD...would DH top her maintenance up if she was short? You may end up paying her fine by stealth. If not, just ignore me Grin

Horst · 20/07/2021 16:53

If the mum is short for being a lier I’m sure the dsd could move in with her dad while her mother’s finances sorted themselves out.

funinthesun19 · 20/07/2021 16:54

I'm just thinking though, if she was to get a hefty fine, can she afford it? Not for her sake but DSD...would DH top her maintenance up if she was short? You may end up paying her fine by stealth. If not, just ignore me

The op won’t be able to avoid landing the ex in it though if she is to contest her own fine (caused by the ex).
Sometimes parents get fines and they deserve them. Yes it will end up having an impact on their children but parents will have to cut their cloth temporarily as punishment. Much like if you didn’t pay tv licence or you were caught speeding. The fine gets given to you whether you have children or not.

I don’t think maintenance should be topped up either.

funinthesun19 · 20/07/2021 16:56

Would maintenance morally be able to go down if the OP’s husband ever gets a fine for anything? I doubt it. It works both ways.

Ginger1982 · 20/07/2021 16:59

Go to the wedding!!

LadyCatStark · 20/07/2021 17:01

My god that’s a truely evil thing to do! Mind you can’t you just play the system back and ask a female friend to go to your house that day and pretend to be you. Even if she did find a picture of you and reports you, how would they prove it was you?

Bootskates · 20/07/2021 17:03

@funinthesun19 I completely agree. It just occured to me that if ex is as malicious and scheming as she comes across, I wouldn't put it past her to say "fine but I'm telling the kids why we can't have XYZ this month" and it just causes more problems for op and her husband.

But yeah I'm completely on team OP and the ex is a snidey witch Smile

Bootskates · 20/07/2021 17:05

We dont know OPs DH or if he would stick his hand in his pocket if the ex was playing games via the kids so it's just a thought...

GCrebel · 20/07/2021 17:06

Exactly what everyone else has said. Go to the Wedding and have a fabulous time.

I'm sure Ex-will report you. But Have your facts ready. I'm not a legal bod but would question if it is in the public interest to prosecute you and if you do end up in court you can defend yourselves.

Oh and do enjoy her being prosecuted for her maliciousness won't you?

WorraLiberty · 20/07/2021 17:08

Go to the wedding.

Stick to your guns about not having been in contact and keep the text messages as evidence.

Ellpellwood · 20/07/2021 17:09

I thought this right from the start. My cousin's BiL and SiL are a bit dim and reported them as contacts after they dropped a birthday present off at the bottom of their garden!

I think I'd go and just tell everyone you were cleared as it was malicious.

storminabuttercup · 20/07/2021 17:13

Fuck that! Go to the wedding! She's clearly unhinged so could report you but it's unlikely anything will actually happen!

TheQueef · 20/07/2021 17:15

@hellcatspangle

No way would I miss my son's wedding because of a vindictive ex.
Agree. Go to the wedding. Have a lovely time.
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