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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do all your primary kids play out in the summer holidays?

66 replies

Summerfunfever · 19/07/2021 23:43

I never played out when at primary school - none of my friends were local so I did organised playdates/activities with friends etc.

With my two DDs (7 and 9) I've done things similar - without thinking really. So in the holidays we have friends round for organised playdates or outings. I take my Dds swimming, park, Library, days out etc. We'll also go away on holiday for a couple of weeks. So plenty to do and keep them occupied.

It's interesting reading other mumsneters posts who have children who go to the park or play out independently at these sort of ages and for long periods of time. It's just so different to what I did/ am doing with my DC. Am I in the minority - is this what many/most DC do - I'd love to know what others do?

OP posts:

Maggiesfarm · 20/07/2021 13:33

@Jangle33

Absolutely not, they are far too young. We have organised play dates and family activities. I am not happy for my primary school children to be roaming the streets!

Most people feel the same. I didn't think the op meant playing in the street, just playing out of doors.

LuxOlente · 20/07/2021 13:36

Depends where you live, really. I grew up on a quiet housing estate with few cars and lots of kids.

Now we're on a main road, very very busy and cluttered, and their schoolfriends live 2-3 miles away across town.

Just is what it is.

SchmeatWave21 · 20/07/2021 13:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Usual2usual · 20/07/2021 13:46

Mine are 8 and 5 and no they don't play out even though where we stay currently is perfect for it. It's mainly because there aren't really any other kids and they hate playing together!

We are moving soon to a place which will be great for them playing out eventually but they will need more road sense first.

I played out from about 6 next to a very busy road and when I think about it now it was so unsafe.

BeenThruMoreThanALilBit · 20/07/2021 14:04

I used to live in a cul de sac, we played out every summer.

I now live in the city centre in a flat, there’s nowhere to play out even if they wanted to.

I do mind it a little (although I hate suburban life even more, hence why we live where we do). I want them to learn to brush off scrapes and grazes, sort out their own problems, deal with boredom and come up with ideas etc. We got up to all sort of (innocent!) fun when we were kids. There’s a downside to life being regimented into play dates with adults always within earshot.

Interesting to hear of the pp upthread whose kids come home from the river at lunchtime asking for a backpack full of food before heading out again. That’s my dream set up! School holidays must be great because you’re off the hook in terms of ferrying children about. It’s the opposite for me. Everything is within a few minutes’ walk during term time, wonderfully convenient snd time efficient. I have to fire myself for the holidays as I have to be on duty all the time.

gingercat02 · 20/07/2021 14:09

At that age out in the street so you can keep an eye, if it's quiet enough. In a park out of sight no way. At high school age I let them go further afield

JustLyra · 20/07/2021 14:33

@Summerfunfever

Really interesting what different people do. Some children playing out while really quite young. I guess if you live in a village or somewhere like that it makes it much easier. It must make them very independent. I'd worry about how they'd manage if something went wrong - but I suppose they are much more resourceful/have the confidence to deal with things.

It also very much depends on the child. DD1 was a very sensible child, she was very cautious of roads and didn’t have any inclination to stray far. Had she not been the twin of DD2 - no concentration span, easily over-excited and distracted, and over-confident - and the sister of DS1 (similar to DD2) she’d have had more freedom younger. As it was their freedom, while they were young, was tailored around DD2 and DS1’s abilities.

Original poster

Summerfunfever · 20/07/2021 22:48

Some of you seem to live in lovely places where kids can play on the village green and all the parents keep an eye on them. I'm jealous!
We are just in suburbia (not a big city) and we don't have that kind of vibe at all. Think I'll be sticking to playdates and holiday clubs for a long while yet.

OP posts:

Ginger1982 · 20/07/2021 22:53

I lived in a cul de sac as a child and it was like Ramsey Street. I played with lots of kids and we dotted back and forth to each other's gardens and were allowed to go to the park unsupervised from about 7/8 onwards.

I live in a cul de sac now but it's different. There are fewer families with young kids. I'm hoping when DS starts school he will have friends that live in the area but I can imagine it might be organised play dates for a good few years yet.

WhereTheWildThingsArent · 20/07/2021 23:03

I'm desperate to live somewhere where my kids can play out. We're currently in a town. Am I right it's a village thing? Or a cul de sac thing? Basically... where should I move to facilitate my kids having more freedom?

Edinvillian · 20/07/2021 23:06

My 8 year old is out all day, he pops into various grandparents in our village (3 sets) to touch base and I can track him through his watch. He just comes home to be fed and buggers off back out again. It's great, I'm glad he's not on his games console all day which is what he does when it's raining.

EmeraldShamrock · 20/07/2021 23:36

Depends on the DC. DD didn't play out often now she is a house hermit who chats online to school friends.
DS is 6 he is obsessed with outdoors he doesn't play out unsupervised he has autism if he had his way he'd be out 14 hours a day, it's a pain however he was an antisocial emotional wreck up until last year. The minute he hears DC he'll break the door to get out.

EmeraldShamrock · 20/07/2021 23:42

@WhereTheWildThingsArent Anywhere with a local school, a green or cul de sac.

WeeM · 20/07/2021 23:43

@WhereTheWildThingsArent we are in a fairly small new build estate in a town. Loads of kids here and most go to the same school

JohnnyLuLus · 20/07/2021 23:50

A busy A-road cuts through our village and right past our house, so no unfortunately not when under 10.
Over the age of ten, they can safely make it to the park to meet friends, so yes then they do.

I played out from about age 7 - in the 80s.

TwoZeroTwoZero · 20/07/2021 23:54

My dc aged 8 & 10 play out with their friends from up the street. They go & call for each other and play in each others' gardens and houses and sometimes on the street. We live in a 1950s council estate with very narrow but fairly quiet roads in a small semi-rural town. The town as a whole has its problems with antisocial behaviour and other crimes that are generally associated with areas of high depravation but our estate is peaceful and has a lot of families with primary aged children.

At that age, my friend and I used to walk across the field, cross the road, that was a national speed limit road at the time, and spend all day in the park before coming home for tea.

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