To ask how you cope with this?

[sadanddown]

I didn't know where to put this, I guessed here to get honest answers and not in mental health because not sure that was the kind of answers I wanted.

I am emetophobic. I did cure myself of this, but it has come back and I am literally feeling like I want to jump in the car and drive and drive and not stop.

2 weeks ago my eldest was sick. I was there once and then DH dealt with the other two times through the night.
Thursday night my youngest was sick through the night and DH dealt with it all.
Last night DH was sick, just once but sick all the same.

I am petrified, anxious and feel like I want to die. I know that sounds dramatic and over the top and other people have bigger problems to contend with than me, however ultimately that is how I feel. My mind has put a barrier up and I can't seem to practice the coping mechanism I learnt in therapy.

I don't know how to deal with sickness 'normally' do other mums panic and cry and behave like I do?

What I am after is what's a normal response to dealing with a sickness bug? Mine clearly isn't normal at all.

Any help would be appreciated. I'm sat in bed anxious and feeling like I cannot cope.

@CoffeeDay You won't believe how much Thrive changed my life.

Totally with you OP. I worked through the book myself and it helped massively, I just struggle to keep going with the strategies. I need to get back on it.
It's so debilitating isn't it? My problem is the anticipating part of it - the constant 'will I be sick' thought.

@Disneyblue
It is hard work - I have to try again too.

I was just thinking that I was going to go to sleep and DD comes in half asleep, I put her back in bed and then I heard her again getting up for a wee. Now I am on edge again,

It is such an awful phobia to have.

@Disneyblue

Totally with you OP. I worked through the book myself and it helped massively, I just struggle to keep going with the strategies. I need to get back on it. It's so debilitating isn't it? My problem is the anticipating part of it - the constant 'will I be sick' thought.

I found the DARE app quite useful by the way. Really helped to calm the panic (plus I like his soothing Irish accent)!!!

Might be worth trying a different hypnotist. I had great results with the second one I tried and that was over an irrational phobia (not of sick).

Ultimately much of it is about practicing the techniques you learn in the therapy, even in the midst of the panic.

A fellow emetophobe here. It feels like my whole world falls apart when one of the DC is sick. I don't have any advice as I still struggle massively but OP

yeah I'm not very controlling.
I don't need to have perfect control over what my body does later.
I notice that lots of MNers seem to be very controlling.

If life has taught me one thing it's that I often don't know what's best. And that often when I let go & see how things develop, that a excellent solution to a perceived problem presents itself unexpectedly -- it was unhelpful that I tried to control the situation thinking that I must find a good quick solution.

I've come to positively relish not finding quick resolutions, instead sitting back and seeing what solution presents itself at a time I didn't expect. So often very much better than my original guess of what a good solution might be. As a result of this flexible mindset my problem-solving skills are hugely improved. I'm very relieved & grateful about that.

Being 'not in control' turns out to be a very good thing.

I think this thread is helping me have better insight into a lot of other things MNers say. I probably relate to them less than ever now, tbh.

... @sadanddown how are you doing now? I hope you're feeling a little more positive, but would still recommend reading over what @CoffeeDay wrote and take it seriously.

My teenage son has emetophobia and has had lifelong separation anxiety. After a traumatic time moving to secondary school in 2019, he started having full scale panic attacks, often triggered by the whirlwind of thoughts that he might catch a sickness bug.

Things improved over lockdown when we did the Thrive Programme for emetophobia (without a coach) but soon returned when he went back to school last September. He understood it, but just couldn't process it.

Things worsened, and then in March this year I researched his behaviours and comorbid conditions (OCD, separation anxiety, low self esteem, friendship issues, and newly acquired motor tics) and realised he had ADHD. This wasn't picked up at school or by 2 psychologists. They only seem able to diagnose 'anxiety' and refer kids for ASD assessments. ADHD is very much misunderstood, even by 'professionals'.

Due to his diagnosis I realised I had it too (I'm in my late 40s and would have never have known). I've never had emet or general anxiety, but have a phobia and other ADHD related issues.

Since the diagnosis we've restarted Thrive with the help of a Thrive coach (who also has ADHD). If you need any info please fee free to message me. Likewise @CoffeeDay, happy to chat.

I'm an emetophpbe and the one positive thing about Covid is the lack of exposure to potential sickness bugs (although I did read the summer levels of Noro are 3 times what they usually are in some areas / settings)

My phobia manifests in fear of others being sick. I feel like I just work on a different level to other people. I am always on the look out for someone to be ill. For example a car pulling up suddenly always makes me think someone is about to jump out and puke (I did see this once, 30 years ago!). I wouldn't dream of getting on public transport late on a weekend precovid in case someone was drunk and vomiting. I feel absolute panic is one of my kids are "off" and I spend the whole time on the look out for them getting sick .... oddly I deal with the actual puking alright but the anticipation creates terrible levels of anxiety.

It is actually exhausting when it happens but thankfully I can be quite "normal" until something triggers me - granted my heightend sense of potential vomit situations isn't quite as normal as your average person.

I began some exposure therapy in January 2020, the idea was ultimately to get me to confront my fear. The sessions [I had 5 ou of a potential 12] took place in a medical setting and I never knew the end game other than I was going to be "made to feel uncomfortable "
Obviously Covid fucked it all up and my sessions were cancelled (it was a very specific face to face therapy... and yep it was NHS) so I'm still stuck. I am fine until I am not fine.

Sorry not read the full thread but I've suffered with emetophobia for years and years, it was so vad after having my youngest I developed post natal OCD and would do stupid things like get up in the middle of the night to bleach the couch because my eldest had sat on it with his nursery clothes and they may have vomiting virus on them.

I ended up getting CBT which has not cured me but it has made me a lot better. DH still has to deal with the actual vomiting but I can comfort the kids afterwards instead of crying in the next room.

Please speak to your GP.