To ask if this was rude?

[OddsAndBobs]

Asked summer nanny to come up with a plan for the week. She texted me this afternoon with some ideas but one idea meant the eldest child would miss out on library trip she wanted to take the youngest one to. (Eldest finishes school a day later.

I said ' I think you will need to do the library on Thursday so L can also join in. She will be very sad if not.' But did praise the other ideas. Was I rude?

Come on op, did you just want to tell us you had a nanny?
Hahahaha this!!!
Did the nanny say you were rude ? Why is the library trip soo important?

Was a nanny for many many years, this text would have been received well by me. Not rude at all!
I also used to discuss the weeks plans with parents, surely it's just common manners to check parents are ok with it? I often took children out for 'big' daytrips (like the beach for the day, or a trip to a local theme park/petting farm) so I needed to a) check this was OK financially, and b) make sure I'm not doing something the parents wanted to do with their children.
Also my employers would sometimes make arrangements for during the week (playdates or a theatre trip) so would let me know so I could plan accordingly

So do you stop your younger child doing many things if her sister doesn't get to do them? Would.you stop L going somewhere if younger sister can't?

I don’t think it was rude but maybe a little dramatic- I find it hard to believe your daughter, will be ‘very sad’ to miss a trip to the library, mildly put out perhaps.

@WorraLiberty

What made you think it might be rude?

It sounds like basic communication to me

Unless you left out the bit where you called her a bastarding jizzmonger and booted her in the fanny?

Dead!

Uh?

Overthinking this one OP

Sad to miss a trip to the library? Christ!

Depends on the tone
If it was like, love your ideas but I think you’d be best best to swap xyz so endear can come as they’d really love it - not rude

A very dismissive glance and change xyz- rude

Come on op, did you just want to tell us you had a nanny?

Not just a Nanny --(an M&S)-- a Summer Nanny.

Ah I get it, we’re playing tell me you’re posh without saying you’re posh

My housekeeper has gone away to the week and I just don’t know where the champagne is kept in the wine cellar!

Mmmmm sounds like my boss when she micromanages. It’s really annoying.

No I don’t think it is particularly rude. Although I do find it a little odd the youngest can’t go on a simple library trip in case the older sibling gets upset. Do people really not go places with a younger child when their siblings are at school? I have taken my 3 year old to all sorts of places, including theme parks while his brother is at school. The very few times my 7 year old has said anything we have pointed out how many places he went before he started school and it wouldn’t be fair on his younger brother to just sit at home waiting his return. He gets days out too in the school holidays.

you have a summer nanny ?
do they change each season ?
like coats.

I agree with the posters pointing out that you could have made a suggestion of things younger one can do on the day the older one will be in school.

Can they not go anyway and maybe pick out a book for older sibling? Then they can all go when books are returned?

I think the tone of the message was rude. The "I think you will have to..." bit. I wouldn't expect my boss to speak to me like that. It carries an inference that the person doesn't know how to do their job.

I always think that children with siblings and a nanny could benefit from some one-on-one time with their carer. It doesn't always have to be both kids together! The nanny will find it helps with bonding also. Maybe there can be an activity with just the older child at another time.

@Tinty

*Come on op, did you just want to tell us you had a nanny?*

Not just a Nanny --(an M&S)-- a Summer Nanny.

Dahlings, that is so 2020. I have a Change of Seasons Nanny.

@MiaMarshmallows

A bit. May have come across as abrupt and could have been worded differently. Personally I would have said something like 'Sounds great! I was thinking, Emily loves the library. Do you think we could change things a little so she can also come? Thanks for the brilliant ideas.'

This.

@alexdgr8

you have a summer nanny ? do they change each season ? like coats.

"You really must see this season's Fall Nanny, she is simply sublime!"

Not rude at all, I don’t understand why you’ve started this thread tbh. I think the nanny would welcome your points about the library trip....unless there’s more to this?

It does sound as if you're jumping on the one thing in her proposed plans that might not work and making a big deal out of it.

If I were the nanny I think I might feel as if you were scrutinising my every move and waiting to trip me up.

Yes she's currently an employee of yours, but this is very different from the typical boss/worker relationship. You have to actually get on IMO.

Does she need guidance?

I was a nanny to 4 children we went everywhere, Brighton, Chessington world of adventures, London Zoo, Museums

I wasnt micro managed
Told the parents what i had planned and off we went

Is it a uniquely English thing that people would rather talk around in circles, lay out a red carpet, curtsey all before getting to the point? I can't see an issue with what OP has written.

By the way does this mean the Winter nanny is off and will the Autumn nanny be making an appearance in a couple of months?

@VladmirsPoutine yes! There was just a thread about it and this reminded me of it.😂