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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to hate " double " gift ( b'day and xmas)

88 replies

pud1 · 26/11/2007 12:11

why oh why do people tell december bithdays that instead of buying a you a birthday gift and xmas gift they will just give you one for both. they are never any better. it really pisses me off. i also dont want my birthday gift wrapped in xmas paper.
next year i am going to do it back. i am going to tell them in july that they will have to wait til xmas for there birthday gift

OP posts:

NotDoingTheHousework · 26/11/2007 13:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

kerryk · 26/11/2007 13:05

i am dec 22nd, was crap when people tried to get away with only one present when i was young, my mum would become pretty fierce if anyone tried it though

i am 26 in a few weeks and dont think i have ever had a present not wrapped in xmas paper

ChristmasShinySnowflakes · 26/11/2007 13:07

I hate this.

My birthday is on 12th Dec and it always feels like a bit of a non-event

VictorianSqualor · 26/11/2007 13:09

We should have a thread in June, for those who had to 'share' their birthdays with the festive season. A special day for everyone who has ever had a 'join't present!

I'm pregnant again atm, and this one is due April, wonder how many times it gets a joint easter and birthday present

NotDoingTheHousework · 26/11/2007 13:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

rantinghousewife · 26/11/2007 13:11

I am so with you on that NDTHW

Original poster

pud1 · 26/11/2007 13:12

i am glad to hear that i am not the only one who gets pissed off with it. i have also been told that this year my oh is at his xmas do on my 30th birthday. oh well i will go out with a group of frieds for a meal and have a much better night probably

OP posts:

rantinghousewife · 26/11/2007 13:13

Pud1...with tinsel, the tinsel is a bonus of a birthday at this time of year. You must make the most of it!

kittylouise · 26/11/2007 13:16

Was once grumbling to my mum about the combined stress/money madness of dd's birthday so close to Christmas, her response was "well, you should have kept your legs closed until June, then".

Cheers, mum

bobsyouruncle · 26/11/2007 13:20

My dad'a birthday is christmas day and we all give him separate birthday and christmas presents. I'm always jealous of the huge pile of presents he has to open! It would never have crossed my mind to give him one present, that's so tight

beeper · 26/11/2007 13:55

Generally the idea is to be grateful if anyone buys you anything anytime at all.

bettythebuilder · 26/11/2007 14:06

lol beeper. The spirit of gratitude temporarily deserted me when we got a Christmas card last year with "oh, and Happy birthday to dd" scribbled inside.
Her birthday is on Christmas Day itself, but still...even more reason to make some sort of effort, imo

Heifer · 26/11/2007 14:18

my DD is the 2oth December, but so far everyone has been really good and NO joint presents, although I am sure that it helped that I said when she was almost 1 that it would be really nice if she always got separate present etc!

I think it also helps that we don't start Christmas in our home until 21st Dec, so no decorations/tree until after her birthday.

It is something that I feel quite strongly about so am happy to fight the cause when/if needed.

stleger · 26/11/2007 14:21

I have 2 children, one either side of Christmas, plus one with a summer birthday. I feel it is very unfair to have to wait 12 months and have 2 celebrations at once, when everyone else has a special day. It was bad planning to let it happen twice.

filthymindedvixen · 26/11/2007 14:25

ds is 23rs december. We always make sure he has proper birthday paper and 2 gifts. His dad and grandma are also dec so no-one dares to give just one gift.

School have always been very good about amking sure children with december birthdays get their 'special day' sticker etc as well.

Having said that, he is getting a token birthday pressie fro us this year as he is getting a Wii for xmas (he doesn't know yet.) And grandma is getting him a bike for his bithday so I don't think he'll feel too hard done by...

contentiouscat · 26/11/2007 14:27

I dont think I would ever do this to someone, I guess its difficult if their birthday is ON the 25th then I would just ask what they would prefer otherwise they are two different occasions and should be celebrated as such.

bobsyouruncle · 26/11/2007 14:32

I do wrap my dad's birthday present in christmas paper though...

idlingabout · 26/11/2007 15:32

This problem has always afflicted my dp (18th Dec) - his family have always been the worst offenders and over the years I have had to cajole them into doing the right thing - this usually means getting things on their behalf as they don't like to use the post at Christmas. They just don't get the point about how he doesn't get a special day. When we can't see them at Christmas there is always an alternative 'gathering'. They have sometimes had these on his birthday before now - everyone talks Christmas and people just say 'oh and that's for your birthday'.Frequently, they don't even bother to wrap his gift as it is 'too difficult to find birthday paper at the moment'. If there isn't a 'gathering' until after Chrismas then, you've guessed it, they say 'we'll give you your birthday present then too'. It's as if it is just a box to be ticked without any sense of specialness.
I know the idea is to be grateful for whatever you get but I agree with all those who think joint presents are just tight and unfair. Yes, it is an expensive time of year but it is patently unfair to treat one child/relative differently just because they have a Dec/Jan birthday.It is not as if it is a surprise that they are having a birthday - people should put aside the money earlier in the year. And I say all this as someone whose own birthday is in November and I have 3 nieces and nephews with late Nove/Dec birthdays. I am determined never to give a joint gift unless it is expressly requested by the recipient.

tkband3 · 26/11/2007 16:08

bettythebuilder, that's the one that's always bothered me the most - a christmas card with 'happy christmas' crossed out and 'happy birthday' written in instead. It's bad enough that the shops have taken half their birthday cards away to make room for the christmas cards without people not even bothering to look for one for you! My birthday is 23rd December and when I was about 5, my mum got fed up with the relatives all sending cheques telling her to buy my brother's and my christmas presents and my birthday present with the money. We weren't v. well off and there was stuff I could well have done with in the summer. So I ended up with 2 birthdays . I used to get big presents from relatives in the summer and have a party for friends and cards on my real birthday. It was great, but my parents decided when I was 18 I was old enough to put up with just my real birthday .

To be honest now, it doesn't really bother me so much - but OH is banned from buying joint presents .

PersonalClown · 26/11/2007 16:16

Thank God I'm not the only one that thinks this!!
My birthday is the 27th and I've given up on expecting seperate presents.
My best friends on the 22nd and we both know how much it irritates us to have 'joint' presents that we go out of our way to make a big deal out of each others birthdays.

But does anyone with birthdays on or after Christmas find that your birthday is an afterthought?
I find that most people (family included ) buy a last minute card/present witht the obligitory 'Sorry. I forgot it was your birthday'

3madboys · 26/11/2007 16:25

yep we have this problem too, ds3 is the 23rd dec, he will be 3 this year, and the last two years he has been too little to notice, this year he knows its his bday soon and is talking about party, cake etc.

from last year we decided that xmas decorations will all go up on the 24th dec so on the 23rd the house can be done up with bday balloons etc and we wont be thinking about xmas, just ds3's bday.

however this year he is getting a play cooker from my parents, as we have decided we like the retro cooker in gltc catalogue that will be a xmas/bday present from my parents, tho they will get him some little bits for xmas etc as well. i do feel a bit bad but the cooker is expensive and he will still get bday presents from us and his other gma etc. infact i have made a point of mentioning to relatives HOW EXCITED he is about his bday this year, as last year it was kind of ignored

Reallytired · 26/11/2007 17:26

My son's birthday is New Years Eve and he is only five. We have exactly the same problem and it stinks.

brightwell · 26/11/2007 18:57

Both me & ds have December birthdays, I don't like being given one present for both, also birthday presents being wrapped in Christmas paper & being given Christmas styled presents for my birthday ie Christmas decorations, Christmas apron & oven gloves etc...that was always a favourtie habit of my ex sil, until I gave her a big Easter egg for her April birthday!I make sure ds birthday (24th,is completely seperate from Christmas

Flibbertyjibbet · 26/11/2007 19:07

My older sisters birthday is 14 December and I always used to get her a joint pres as a child when I had little money.
Now I have a son with a birthday 18 Dec and WOE BETIDE anyone who gives HIM a joint present or - as SIL did last year, gives his birthday present wrapped in xmas paper.

My revenge was very subtle. Her birthday is in May, I wrapped her present in xmas paper, and during the embarrassed silence from all the ILs when I handed it over, I said 'oh I thought you always wrap birthday presents in xmas paper - or do you just do that for ds?'

I know, I can't believe I festered about it for 5 months either...

TellusMater · 26/11/2007 19:09

It is unacceptable (unless by my express request) - my family and friends are well aware of this

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