AIBU to think I don't know how to have fun

[soootireddd]

My Instagram feed is full of friends in lovely locations around the UK, sipping G&T's in picturesque pub gardens, on gorgeous camping trips in secluded campsites with beautiful sunsets, and swimming in the sea on almost deserted beaches. Others have a lovely home set-up with fun paddling pool, jugs of Pimms on the go... and are just having what looks like a marvellous time.

It feels like we (DH plus our toddler) rarely have these lovely experiences - we tend to be sat at home most of the time and live in a very urban, built up area where it's crowded and there's not much to do. There are local parks but they're a very hot bus ride away and not exactly living the dream.

How do people find these beautiful quiet holiday spots or achieve lovely garden set-ups and all the rest of it? I want to get some more fun in our lives but don't know where to start!

Airbnb?

Do tou have a garden? Get a hose pipe, a sprinkler and an inflatable paddling pool

I feel your pain and feel exactly the same. The only solution I can suggest is to delete Instagram!

Oh yeah, it's the curse of social media everyone always seems like they are having so much fun.

A picture doesnt really mean much I can take a picture of happy clean kids in my £30 garden inflatable pool & hashtag it with something sooo inspirational, or visit a pub and filter the fuck out of my £9.99 burger & chips

But i dont cos it's really wank 😂

If you got a garden get a cheapy pool, if you can't drive then just take a train to your local beach when you can afford it.

Travel via bus (free leisure ones if you have them) and visit a different lido / park or whatever.

Go find a field shove a blanket down and some picnic bits.

Ball pit? How old are your children/child?

Honestly don't worry about what other people are doing .. at all.

I dont think ive ever had a perfect day out in 10 years!! There's always tantrums tears hunger - & that's just from me !!

@SleepingStandingUp

Do tou have a garden? Get a hose pipe, a sprinkler and an inflatable paddling pool

As lovely as this suggestion is it isn’t exactly what the OP describes

I think social media can help you a lot, but are you NT members? We’ve found a lot of nice places through this. Also just good old google - if you say where you are in the country people might be able to give you some pointers.

Don't believe everything they post on social media! (It's like the mums who tell you their baby sleeps through the night at 2 weeks old while you're tearing your hair out after 6 months of no sleep!)

Whenever I see those photos I remind myself that they probably had hours in traffic or waiting at the airport, plus the packing (I hate packing and unpacking) and how much hassle it is to keep your garden looking nice if you've got young kids.
To have the perfect set up you also need to be completely ruthless - e.g. not allowing your child to wear any 'home made tat' grandma knitted or having anything in your house that doesn't 'fit' your lifestyle.

Top tip - go through your phone or old photos and find some that you've taken of your family at the park or having fun at home and print them out and put them up around your home to remind you of fun times you have had - even if it was 'just' the local park or 'on the bus'.
Days out with kids are always stressful at the time (in my experience) but if you look back at the photos it looks like a lovely family time since you don't tend to take photos of waiting in a long queue for ice creams or someone having a tantrum!

Me and my family are in isolation due to my DH testing positive.

I’m on a sunbed sipping G&T in the gorgeous sunshine looking at my beautiful children squealing and playing in a paddling pool with my decent sized gorgeous home in the background.

In reality my tits are red raw as I burnt the fuck out of them yesterday on said sunbed, I’m tipping G&T down my gob as my kids are screaming and fighting in the garden thats piss wet through because of the bastard paddling pool staring at my house wondering how we’ll pay the mortgage next month after 16 months of furlough meaning the savings have run dry (hospitality) and no sick pay for my husband.

All is never as it seems, but thankfully I’m not a Instagram knob head

@Pippa12 haha that made me laugh!

I was going with the garden thing. it doesn't habe to look pretty. Small person, water sprinkling, happy photos for Insta

@soootireddd honestly I laughed writing it, thinking how the fuck did it get to this 😂😂😂

@SleepingStandingUp it's a good suggestion, thanks! Maybe I need to invest in a cheap and cheerful paddling pool?

I guess I just want to have more cheap and fun experiences. Rather than wasting my free time sitting at home for most of the time.

Part of me wonders if I even have the energy though...

[quote soootireddd]@SleepingStandingUp it's a good suggestion, thanks! Maybe I need to invest in a cheap and cheerful paddling pool?[/quote]
Sometimes the answers are cheap and easy. Cheap pop up paddling pool. Raid PoundLand pool toys, balls, etc.

Of course you can throw money at it but its hard when you don't drive

Check out smyths for inflatables

Or depending on ages get a sand turtle thingy u can fill with water or sand

Mostly stop worrying about what you are not doing and more on what you are doing!

My kids happiest times are probably finally letting them into the garden in the pouring rain than any of the treks around the zoo or being baked at the beach. I mean its all 'ok' but its not what everyone on social media makes it out to be.

Summer- oh look at our pool and us at the beach (in this particular place at this particular time whilst I can avoid anyone in the back ground)
Autumn - oh look we carved pumpkins how cute we are, here's one of little Joseph picking his own (again cuts out all the muddy shit and half demolishes pumpkins for what feels like miles around)
Spring- oh we made our own flower wreath for the door (dies 2 days later stinks and gets 8 sneezes every time the postman knocks)
Winter - amazing snowman the kids made (amazingly cuts out all the dirty slodgy parts of the grass/path)

Its too hot for the energy! But a paddling pool will generally pay dividends for cooling/ enertaining children. Then just add G&T for you, pop your feet in the cold water and read a book. Simple and feels like a break.

And if you want a fajcy g&t, go somewhere like Poundland and buy matching plastic ones so they wont break as easily

I would suggest that you plan ahead - save for a uk break, research somewhere you will enjoy; plan for each weekend (something nice to eat Friday, an outing on Saturday and a nice activity at home on Sunday). Plan on a weds or Thursday by looking at the forecast. My favourite cheap or free ideas

• teddy bears picnic in the park
• find a spot where you can paddle in a stream or river
• hire a bike with a toddler trailer on a cycle path off the road
• go for a sunset walk
• go to an outdoor concert with a picnic
• sprinkler in the garden is as fun as a paddling pool

First of all people only put fleeting moments on Instagram - before child one bashed child two over the head causing a screaming fit, and mum leapt up to separate them sending her gin glass crashing to the floor and trod on a wasp.

Secondly, have a think about things you genuinely would enjoy doing (rather than looking at what everyone else is up to). Search for days out you think you'd enjoy and book them. Check out air bnb for weekends away (MN is great for suggestions - especially as you don't drive so would be using public transport to get there) At the end of the day only you can make these things happen.

Why not start now, and tell us what sort of things you think you'd enjoy, if you're on a budget, what area you live, and you might get some suggestions?

“ A picture paints a thousand words” but it’s not always the full picture. Sometime photos (ones that I’ve taken over the years as I rarely delete anything ) pop up in my “memories” and I actually have to check to see where I was /what I was doing as they can look absolutely fabulous! I don’t post anything online, don’t do Instagram (too old!) and my only use for Twitter is to post my daily walks (part of a 100 Days of Walking Challenge, though we’re now close to 200) to keep me motivated and walking, so there shouldn’t be anyone thinking I’m living the dream all the time. Try not to worry about you “not knowing how to have fun”. A good solid relationship with your partner and child is the most important thing. The other things are just snapshots of a moment.

We're having a staycation while my finances recover from last year's redundancy. By that I mean we are staying at home.

DS is currently on a sun lounger in the shade, with a book. I have stocked up on ice cream and cones from the supermarket - much nicer than the van. Later when it is cool, we are cycling to the local pub where they are serving mint juleps in the garden (alcoholic for me and non-alcoholic for him) with a barbecue.

Later tonight I'll make a very Italian picnic, (baked polenta, grilled peppers in oil & garlic, aubergine & feta rolls, pizza slices etc, and home made lemonade) so tomorrow when it's a bit cooler, we are climbing the local beacon.

Then we're meeting his friend and taking pedalos on our nearest pond. Swimming at the local lido. I've bought quoits and hoopla for the garden (£13). And I've found somewhere that does inexpensive archery lessons.

None more than 5 miles from home and the photos will look great It's all an illusion.

@pippa12 Oh God, that sounds familiar. Well done for keeping going. Enjoy your G&T.

I have a tiny garden but our toddler is happy with his paddling pool, watering can, playing with the hose, getting his dinosaurs taking a bath etc. We have an inexpensive garden set and love to have a drink outside in the evening, or have a small bbq just for the three of us, or simply just eat out. I normally buy small plug plants in spring and they are in full bloom by this time of the year, adding some charm to the garden.
We also make a big deal of the drinking/eating in the garden, like we use colorful plates/cutlery, we make summery cocktails (we even make 'mocktails' for our son with squash, icecubes and straws in the same glasses we use for our alcoholic ones). Nothing expensive really, and we don't have to buy anything extra, it's just things we have at home,
When we go out we tend to go to parks. We bring a blanket, sandwiches, soft drinks and have a picnic. We sometimes take his balance bike or a ball. If not in the mood, generally speaking we plan a little adventure every weekend to get out of the house. It could be a village we never explored (where we stop to have tea/ice cream/cake), a playground slightly further away, or places recommended by friends or collagues or picked up on the internet (i.e. zoo, festivals, a new paddling pool, events organized by our council...).
Yesterday we drove to the nearest beach and we packed our lunch and everything needed. Not expensive except for petrol, but lots of fun. We invited some friends to join us and it was simple and lovely.

I hope I got you some ideas but not sure as I don't have Instagram!

Do you have a garden?

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Honestly OP, make the best of what you have....if bus journey is hot.....some discomfort will be worth it to make your life more 'exciting. Try changing things up for two or three weeks, then reasses. I'll be surprised if you don't feel better

Just grab yourself some pimms is thats what you want to do?! If it helps, i only day drink in the garden with company or if my kids have pushed me to the limit...maybe they are dressing it up as a nicer time than it is!!