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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sick of the neighbours looking into our garden?

253 replies

Wannakisstheteacher · 18/07/2021 20:49

Background: house is rented so fence cannot be changed.

We live in a semi. Garden fence between us is a chain link about waist high across 2/3 of the garden and a wooden 6ft fence for the other 1/3 closest to the house where the patios are. NDN have a table in the garden and eat there every night in the summer. AIBU to think it’s really fucking rude that they’ve pushed the table right up against the chain link part of the fence so they are sat there looking into our garden? Why would they not have their table on the patio where the wooden part is so we both have some privacy or at least not right up against the fence?!

It’s pathetic, I know. But I just hate going into the garden in the evening as they just sit there with their endless stream of guests, and watch everything we do. It’s just so awkward.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Divineswirls · 20/07/2021 04:00

Well done OP DS deserves a pocket money raise

Why do they not feel uncomfortable sitting right up against your garden people are so weird.

I'm a very private person so would be mortified by this. I've already attached a fence to a ridiculously low wall on one side of my garden. Now I have to do the other side because the old neighbour tore down the privacy hedging so have another low wall to deal with.
I like both sets of neighbours but on no account do I want to see or interact with them in my back garden at all ever. I currently hang up a sheet for privacy.

Divineswirls · 20/07/2021 04:00

@1forAll74

Why do you think the people watch you all the time. I would have thought the neighbours and their guests,would have been eating/drinking,and all chatting together, and otherwise occupied, and not staring at you all the time.
OP has stated they stop what they're doing and watch her which is creepy
EvenleyWitch · 20/07/2021 04:45

You can buy 6 ft bamboo screens reasonably cheaply from Homebase and simply cable tie it to the chain link as other poster suggested.
You wouldn't need LL's permission as bamboo is classed as temporary.

Bonus is it looks rather cool too!

Eviebeans · 20/07/2021 04:50

Similar to what divineswirls said about hanging a sheet up for privacy. I used a throw/wall hanging large enough to cover a bed up on the washing line -worked a treat -a cheap solut

Eviebeans · 20/07/2021 04:51

...ion

MiladyBerserko · 20/07/2021 05:16

I think burritofan's proposal wins it.

Took me 10 minutes to stop laughing.

Harls1969 · 20/07/2021 07:43

I feel your pain OP. We have a 6' fence around our garden but ND have a concrete bit outside their house that is higher than the ground on our side. They've got an old sofa against our fence and their kids (around 6 and 3) climb on that and lean over the fence, stare into our conservatory and shout at my cats. When I've asked them to get down, the little one laughs (EAL). My husband using his 'Dad voice' to tell them to 'GET DOWN' appears to have mostly worked though Grin

HollowTalk · 20/07/2021 08:02

A gazebo right up against the fence would be best.

jugOFpimms · 20/07/2021 09:00

get a large parasol I've just ordered one from robert dyas its a double one !! you can also get them from the range /amazon & put it over where their table is Smile

yellowsubmarines · 20/07/2021 09:52

I agree with pp. In my experience you need to make the situation as awkward for the neighbour as they're making it for you. If they know you want a privacy fence and they've said no and then moved their table right up to the lower fence then it sounds like they're trying to make you uncomfortable. Send DC out to play basketball every time you hear them outside or build a smelly compost bin next to their table or move your table right up next to theirs and take the family out there for a meal, invite some friends around, better yet invite DC's friends around and neighbour will eventually get the point.

Supermum29 · 20/07/2021 11:46

I’d go out every time and join the conversation, comment on their dinner and generally chat to them til they got so fed up they moved the table for their own privacy then giving me mine lol

RandomMess · 20/07/2021 12:28

Borrow a dog to go and bark/watch/pee/poop by where they are sitting?

jugOFpimms · 20/07/2021 13:15

have you a dog ? move the dog shit bin to near their table ....in this heat Grin

smilingontheinside · 20/07/2021 14:45

Hey some 6'reed screen g from wilko and attach to chan fencing your side. Done this against 4' ndn fence as sick of their screaming kids climbing up/looking over. Now growing lovely climbing plants against it 😉

notsofussy · 20/07/2021 15:36

You can buy big sun screens. I have one on the side of my patio its about 1.75 metres tall. Looks a bit like a big wind break you use on the beach.

Lostonthefell · 20/07/2021 19:10

Pity I can’t send you a few seasoned forces personnel colleagues for a barbecue. After a few evenings of drinking games including ‘freckles’ and drinking pints of each other’s vomit your neighbours would be putting a big fence up…

lifeinlimbo2020 · 20/07/2021 19:27

[quote WhereYouLeftIt]How about something like this?

www.amazon.co.uk/privacy-netting-screening-windbreak-fencing/dp/B07NDGNDRK?tag=mumsnetforu03-21[/quote]
Wow. 2m by 5m is only £29.99. Bargain and would do the job 👍 like the gazebo idea too with that side left down 👍👍

WhereYouLeftIt · 20/07/2021 19:43

@Wannakisstheteacher

So I’ve put on my big girl pants and sent DS out to play basketball as soon as they sat down to eat 😁 30 minutes of constant bouncing and they’ve gone indoors for the first time before 10pm since it stopped raining.
Well done! Don't let their behaviour stop you using your garden.
HunkyPunk · 21/07/2021 10:39

So I’ve put on my big girl pants and sent DS out to play basketball as soon as they sat down to eat

Love your definition of putting on big girl pants Grin
(It would be my definition, too!)

Imnotcrazyjustdrunk · 21/07/2021 11:38

I may be late to come up with this solution, I can't believe someone hasn't suggested that this is an ideal time and location for an outdoor sex pool, I mean hot tub.
The noise alone should move them along.

JoborPlay · 21/07/2021 11:43

You don't need the landlords permission as long as you leave it as it was when you move out. Buy bamboo screening or such.

whatisthisinhere · 21/07/2021 11:48

I have neighbours like this, it's awful. I've screened off most of their view into my garden, as much as I can without affecting light, and now they go to their upstairs window to look in. As soon as they hear me outside, they look through their window, they open it and hang out of it. I've even seen them using a step ladder to stand on to look in. I hope you do t end up in this situation, but it's a constant war for me. My eldest ds has taken to shouting at them now, asking them what they're looking for. They shout obscenities at me, and mock my autistic ds. I'm collecting evidence via cctv right now. I hope yours doesn't end up this way. If you're renting I would seriously start looking for somewhere else, I'm stuck and can't move

GreyhoundG1rl · 21/07/2021 11:52

@whatisthisinhere

I have neighbours like this, it's awful. I've screened off most of their view into my garden, as much as I can without affecting light, and now they go to their upstairs window to look in. As soon as they hear me outside, they look through their window, they open it and hang out of it. I've even seen them using a step ladder to stand on to look in. I hope you do t end up in this situation, but it's a constant war for me. My eldest ds has taken to shouting at them now, asking them what they're looking for. They shout obscenities at me, and mock my autistic ds. I'm collecting evidence via cctv right now. I hope yours doesn't end up this way. If you're renting I would seriously start looking for somewhere else, I'm stuck and can't move
Bloody hell, they sound mad.
BackInBlackAgain · 21/07/2021 11:56

I feel your pain OP, we had a chain link fence between us and next door. She is lovely, really nice and friendly but whenever we were outside she would suddenly appear, i know that she has every right to use her garden as much as she wishes but it always coincided with when we were outside.

Everything was commented on and conversations had to happen. I swear she had a camera on our back door to know when we were out.

I just didnt feel comfortable sunbathing as she would be trying to talk to me and i didnt want to talk, just relax in the sun.

We have now put up a 6 foot fence, it cost over £800 but totally worth it.

user1471538283 · 21/07/2021 18:04

I had an ex neighbor who would be outside if we were. Our relationship was completely broken after she called me a little bitch in the street. And she was older. I would just ignore her.

I would either buy stuff to block them or make them so uncomfortable they stop.

When we move I'm putting up very tall fuck off fences. Neighbors are not friends.

I dont understand why people cannot just be private. I hate anyone knowing my business.