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Original poster

Social media and married

50 replies

Wtf1980 · 18/07/2021 20:20

If your husband wrote on social media that he was married for years and then for no reason took it of would it worry you?

So not to drip feed he stayed at his dads in the first lockdown due to having 2 children that needed to shield and he needed to work.
And I was told he took it of *our adult son is his friend on there and he was the one who mentioned it.
When I asked him about it he put it back on again but then took it of again.
He says he doesn't understand the problem? It wouldn't of been if he never had it on there in the first place.
We are not friends on social media but I find it disrespectful that he can love other womans pictures but take married of.
I Know it seems really petty but would it bother you?

OP posts:
Thedogscollar · 18/07/2021 20:23

Hell yeah.
SM just causes rows and problems.
I'm a non believer just don't get involved in it.

Original poster
Wtf1980 · 18/07/2021 20:31

@Thedogscollar

Hell yeah. SM just causes rows and problems. I'm a non believer just don't get involved in it.
You are so right, just don't understand why after 12 years he would just take it of for no reason.
OP posts:
Window1 · 18/07/2021 20:33

Have you mentioned it to him, what's his excuse? Weird why he would purposely go into his settings and change them.

AnneLovesGilbert · 18/07/2021 20:33

It’s not for no reason. He’s just not telling you the reason.

Why’s he not fb friends with you?

Why’s he loving other women’s pictures?

Original poster
Wtf1980 · 18/07/2021 20:34

@Window1

Have you mentioned it to him, what's his excuse? Weird why he would purposely go into his settings and change them.
I have but he says he done it because I said about it, which I don't get because I only said about it because he did it iyswim?
OP posts:
Cocomarine · 18/07/2021 20:36

Interesting that you accepted him loving other women’s photos and the marital status is what’s annoyed you.
What women, what photos?

Missgemini · 18/07/2021 20:37

If he didn't have it on before, there would be no issue. To go out of your way to take it off shows that something is off.
Also, why aren't you friends on SM? If you're both going to be on SM, you could at least be friends.
Sorry, but something is off here.

Original poster
Wtf1980 · 18/07/2021 20:39

He said there friends and he loves a lot of people's posts be it men and womans.
But like I said why take married of? I'm not bothered about being friends on his social media but I feel like I don't exist.

OP posts:
DoingItMyself · 18/07/2021 20:40

He took it off to hide that he was married, or to suggest that your relationship has ended (to people he wanted to think he was single).

The only reason to that is to try to find additional/alternative sex partners.

So if you're feeling something is 'off', it probably is.

Window1 · 18/07/2021 20:47

@DoingItMyself

He took it off to hide that he was married, or to suggest that your relationship has ended (to people he wanted to think he was single).

The only reason to that is to try to find additional/alternative sex partners.

So if you're feeling something is 'off', it probably is.

I regret 'this' is the case.

Ask him to change it back and explain your reasons why and how it makes you feel.

His reaction to this extremely reasonable request will be telling.

LoverOfAllThingsPurple · 18/07/2021 20:48

I’m sorry, but I think he’s up to no good. He’s also trying to gaslight you by attempting to transfer the blame on to you. Don’t fall for it. The best advice I was given for this was, ‘ keep your mouth closed and your eyes open’. If he knows you suspect he will try harder to hide. If he thinks you’ve let it go, he won’t be so protective. I could be wrong and he’s just being an ass. Either way, my overreacting ass would be finding out! Good luck and please keep us updated OP!

Bluntness100 · 18/07/2021 20:48

I’m sorry but you know why he took it off. So he can pretend he’s not married.

Hawkins001 · 18/07/2021 20:57

@Wtf1980

If your husband wrote on social media that he was married for years and then for no reason took it of would it worry you?

So not to drip feed he stayed at his dads in the first lockdown due to having 2 children that needed to shield and he needed to work.
And I was told he took it of *our adult son is his friend on there and he was the one who mentioned it.
When I asked him about it he put it back on again but then took it of again.
He says he doesn't understand the problem? It wouldn't of been if he never had it on there in the first place.
We are not friends on social media but I find it disrespectful that he can love other womans pictures but take married of.
I Know it seems really petty but would it bother you?

That seems suspicious activity, keep tabs and would be on guard with any unusual activities
Original poster
Wtf1980 · 18/07/2021 21:33

He just thinks I'm being silly, I just wanted people's opinion that don't know us.

OP posts:
toastantea · 18/07/2021 21:42

Is it Facebook? The profile page has changed and you have to click 'about' to see this info now - maybe it's that?

SparrowNest · 18/07/2021 21:45

You aren’t being silly. There was no reason for him to remove his marital status from his profile unless he’s wanting to hide from someone/multiple people that he’s married.

If you were annoyed he’d never had it on his profile, he might have more of a point, but he’s taking you for a mug here. What possible other reason could there be for him removing it? If there was a good one we’ve not thought of he’d already have told you it.

Is there a specific reason you aren’t friends on social media despite both being on there?

Original poster
Wtf1980 · 18/07/2021 21:49

@SparrowNest

You aren’t being silly. There was no reason for him to remove his marital status from his profile unless he’s wanting to hide from someone/multiple people that he’s married.

If you were annoyed he’d never had it on his profile, he might have more of a point, but he’s taking you for a mug here. What possible other reason could there be for him removing it? If there was a good one we’ve not thought of he’d already have told you it.

Is there a specific reason you aren’t friends on social media despite both being on there?

Just haven't been friends for a long time, We had an argument years ago and he left for a while and just didn't put it back on there. Qe have been together for 25 years apart from that blip so not like I'm a new girlfriend or anything.
OP posts:
Original poster
Wtf1980 · 18/07/2021 21:51

@toastantea

Is it Facebook? The profile page has changed and you have to click 'about' to see this info now - maybe it's that?
No it was after that changed and my son mentioned it was taken of and he is his friend. He put married back on then took it of after he thought I was happy and thought I wouldn't know he took it of.
OP posts:
LoverOfAllThingsPurple · 18/07/2021 21:56

If that’s the reason, definitely keep your wits about you, he’s up to something ^^^

thepeopleversuswork · 18/07/2021 22:01

That is very odd indeed. As others have pointed out if he hadn't previously acknowledged himself as married it wouldn't be anything, its the fact that he's gone to the bother of taking it off.

I generally think people overthink their partner's social media activities a bit but this is very pointedly proactive and shifty.

I can't think of any earthly reason someone would go to the bother of changing that unless they wanted other people to think they were single.

Sorry.

Youdiditanyway · 18/07/2021 22:04

He’s deliberately removed it so he doesn’t appear married to any prospective woman he’s trying to chat up or alternatively he’s already having an affair and has probably told her he’s single…

I dated someone years ago who was single on SM. I did notice some pics with a woman on there but figured it was his friend/sister/perhaps an ex. His marital status was single and obviously I was dating him so didn’t suspect anything else. The woman was his GF and she contacted me to tell me one day.

Unless a guy barely uses social media then pretending to be single on there when they’re not is literally only for one reason- to fuck other people.

Original poster
Wtf1980 · 19/07/2021 10:01

Well we have spoken, he still thinks that there is no problem over it.
And basically tough shit, like it or we spilt.

OP posts:
Newbie8365 · 19/07/2021 10:22

He's definitely up to something. Especially as the alternative is that you split up!! He doesnt want someone to know that he is married and is prepared to lose you over it Shock
Trust your gut.

Essentialironingwater · 19/07/2021 10:22

Seems an odd thing to do. Why aren't you connected on SM? I've never heard of a married couple not being connected. Surely if you both use it you would be to share photos etc?

TheQueef · 19/07/2021 10:25

Agree with PP.
He does have a reason he's just not telling you what his reason is.
What possible reason could be have to appear single?