Social media and married

[Wtf1980]

If your husband wrote on social media that he was married for years and then for no reason took it of would it worry you?

So not to drip feed he stayed at his dads in the first lockdown due to having 2 children that needed to shield and he needed to work.
And I was told he took it of *our adult son is his friend on there and he was the one who mentioned it.
When I asked him about it he put it back on again but then took it of again.
He says he doesn't understand the problem? It wouldn't of been if he never had it on there in the first place.
We are not friends on social media but I find it disrespectful that he can love other womans pictures but take married of.
I Know it seems really petty but would it bother you?

DH and I are not friends on fb, no sinister reason. He put a pic up and tagged me (it was of me- I looked hideous, he said he didn’t think so). So I defriended him and told him so 🤣🤷‍♀️.

Not sure about your situ though OP. The putting on married then removing it is odd.

I'm married to my cousin on Facebook. In rl, I forgot why we did that. Since I'm hardly on there I haven't updated it. Dh and dc are not on there, with the exception of people tagging us in pictures.

Dh doesn't mind and he didn't even have Facebook when we meet. He does now and he appears single.

I don't know what your dh is doing. Maybe talking face to face will help? Long distance relationships are very hard.

Your husband sounds like a prat and he is 100% wanting people to think he is single there is no reason at all to do that unless he is flirting or talking to other people why can't you be friends in social media again then you are married for God's sake. If he would rather split up than tell people he is married maybe that is actually what he wants and maybe you should take the opportunity to get rid of him he is an idiot

My twitter account used to say I', a married father with 2 children. Now it doesn't. It doesn't say the opposite of that. It just doesn't refer to my relationship status because that's irrelevant to why I'm on twitter.

So what you're saying is that if you at any time put your marital status on social media you must forever leave it displayed? That's mad and a bit controlling.

@Collaborate

My twitter account used to say I', a married father with 2 children. Now it doesn't. It doesn't say the opposite of that. It just doesn't refer to my relationship status because that's irrelevant to why I'm on twitter.

So what you're saying is that if you at any time put your marital status on social media you must forever leave it displayed? That's mad and a bit controlling.

Hope you warmed up before that reach. She isn't saying or alluding to that at all.

@Collaborate

My twitter account used to say I', a married father with 2 children. Now it doesn't. It doesn't say the opposite of that. It just doesn't refer to my relationship status because that's irrelevant to why I'm on twitter.

So what you're saying is that if you at any time put your marital status on social media you must forever leave it displayed? That's mad and a bit controlling.

Nope not at all, just all the gaslighting that went with it. Twitter is very much different to fb imo as well, more close people not so much random people you follow.

I agree with the others. Agree with it or split? That is gaslighting behaviour. He’s trying to upset you in accepting it and manipulate you in to thinking it’s your fault. Definitely trust you gut.

I'd opt to split, he's already halfway out of the door. Do it on your terms.

Bizarre first post, Wtf. Have another look at it :-). I do understand what you are saying though.

I don't suppose he meant anything by removing the fact that he is married. Maybe he doesn't want nosey strangers knowing his business.

I have a FB account which I rarely use except for messaging a couple of people close to me, in fact it was they who persuaded me to set it up. I give away no information on there at all.

Take care and don't worry.

And basically tough shit, like it or we spilt.

Sorry but this tells you all you need to know.

He's playing away in some form. He just doesn't want the set up he's got with you to end, yet.

@Maggiesfarm, but the DH is using his and regularly changing his marital status. So it doesn't compare to your situation.

Definitely dodgy.

Either accept or split. Split.

Why do anything else, its so much hasslem! And so undignified to beg hin to make him be your friend or put it back on to say married etc etc.

You could try being clever and playing games by adding it to your profile and explicitly reference him so anyone seaching him will see it but really...why bother?

[quote Ponoka7]@Maggiesfarm, but the DH is using his and regularly changing his marital status. So it doesn't compare to your situation.[/quote]
Oh well, the op knows him, we don't. She may be right to be suspicious.

I am just hoping there is an innocent explanation but - only time will tell.

Wonder what he'd do if you friends requested him OP? His reaction to that might be telling, I mean why would you not be friends with your wife on SM?

@TheQueef

Agree with PP. He does have a reason he's just not telling you what his reason is. What possible reason could be have to appear single?

To appear....more attractive and more available? That's the worst possible explanation. It could just be paring down of information. Only he knows.

His playing away.

Join fb and set your marital status tagging him in it. He either accepts it or leaves.

Cheeky bugger!

@Maggiesfarm

Bizarre first post, Wtf. Have another look at it :-). I do understand what you are saying though.

I don't suppose he meant anything by removing the fact that he is married. Maybe he doesn't want nosey strangers knowing his business.

I have a FB account which I rarely use except for messaging a couple of people close to me, in fact it was they who persuaded me to set it up. I give away no information on there at all.

Take care and don't worry.

I've been on here for a long long time but have changed user name. This is the first time in 5 years I have posted on aibu though.

@Bluntness100

I’m sorry but you know why he took it off. So he can pretend he’s not married.

Really?!

I took mine off. My husband didn’t even flinch. Or comment on it. I took mine off because I wanted as little personal information about me on my profile as possible. I use it mainly for local updates, rather than socialising.

I took my marital status off Facebook. I also removed all my information like education, hometown, current town and birthday. I do not want people knowing details about me.

And that's fine if that's the reason why he would of done it, but ⁰he didn't take anything other then relationship of.
His children are on there,birthday,work place!

@Wtf1980

And that's fine if that's the reason why he would of done it, but ⁰he didn't take anything other then relationship of. His children are on there,birthday,work place!

You are funny :-). I thought you would have learned after your first post.

If his children are on there it's obvious he is or has been married.

Have it out with him!

He took it off because he doesn't want people to think he is married.

This may be to attract other women or just to portray himself in a different light.

However, the gaslighting then 'accept it or split' is a really dodgy reaction and suggests he is up to no good. If there was a reasonable explanation he would have given it and there would be no problem.