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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How far to take this?

71 replies

FAQs · 17/07/2021 21:46

Interested what you would do. Currently in a UK hotel, known brand. At 16.30, daughter and friend used the swimming pool. 17 year olds.

When to the showers, saw a woman upset, they then noticed a male masturbating in the shower, door open. Woman reported it to the leisure staff, DD and friend reported it to hotel reception.

Nothing has been done. I went to speak to them to find out what they are going to do, they might check the CCTV if they have time but don’t know who he is. Time slots are booked, they have names. None of the staff saw the issue with this but we’re very apologetic.

I’ve told them to report it to the Police or I will. Also tweeted the CEO because I feel nothing will happen.

Am I being unreasonable to not let this just be dismissed.

Oh and the hotel gave my dd and her friend a free lemonade as an apology, what is that teaching them.

OP posts:
OhHeyItsSaturday · 17/07/2021 22:42

Definitely call the police now!

He's probably a regular customer who has done it before.

Original poster
FAQs · 17/07/2021 22:52

I’ve just been down to reception to find out how far their ‘investigation’ has progressed. The receptionist told me nothing has been done they are waiting for the night maintenance man to check the CCTV.

She was actually very nice, she was also upset about it but wasn’t been able to vocalise it earlier to me when her manager was there.

She very clearly wanted to do something more but told me she wasn’t allowed so I’ve reported it to the Police. I also told her I’d messaged the CEO on Twitter.

She agreed doing nothing let’s us all down.

OP posts:
Maybeone · 17/07/2021 22:57

Well done OP.

What a horrible experience

Rubytinsleslippers · 17/07/2021 23:09

Terrible. What was their reason for not calling the police immediately?

ShortBacknSides · 17/07/2021 23:27

flashers often progress to more serious crimes.

Magistrate friend of mine confirms this - men hauled up on serious sexual offence charges generally also flashers and groupers.

beastlyslumber · 18/07/2021 10:15

Well done OP. Hope he is arrested. And it's awful that staff there are being put at risk by this too. I would think they possibly even have legal cause for complaint for being expected to overlook criminal behaviour?!

Original poster
FAQs · 18/07/2021 14:55

The Police have been great, called me twice, asked the hotel to preserve the CCTV and provide the swim/gym guest list, they’ll be phoning me again mid week with an update. Hotel were surprised I’d reported it ... although the receptionist I spoke to last night was delighted.

OP posts:
TooWicked · 18/07/2021 15:06

Well done OP.

Best Western hotels shame on you. Male guests wanking in your communal showers and you do not do a thing about it. Disgusting.

FortunesFave · 18/07/2021 15:07

Why didn't you call the police?? I would have immediately.

Wjevtvha · 18/07/2021 15:08

Glad you’ve reported it to the police OP; that’s what I was going to suggest and follow up with a formal complaint to best western about how it’s been handled

FortunesFave · 18/07/2021 15:09

Oh you did! Well done. I'm horrified the hotel were 'surprised' you'd reported it. Someone copy the CEO into this thread!

And everyone...DON'T USE THESE HOTELS. Their staff are obviously NOT trained in how to deal with potentially dangerous situations!

FictionalCharacter · 18/07/2021 15:20

It’s worrying that the manager was intimidating the receptionist from speaking up. Sounds like the manager wanted to cover it up.

HeyDugeesCakeBadge · 18/07/2021 15:20

They were surprised you reported a crime to the police? What planet are they on? Its no wonder rape and sexual assault is the easiest crime to get away with when we have everyone minimising or dismissing it. Well done OP!

Mountaingoatling · 18/07/2021 15:23

I can't help but suspect the staff know who this is....hope the girls are OK. Youve given them a good lesson in pursuing injustice and what we should not have to put up with.

Original poster
FAQs · 18/07/2021 15:32

Yep. When I told the Police officer about the other woman who witnessed it, he signed and said, oh yes the hotel has told him about her but none of the staff took her contact details, so they are also trying to trace her.

They actually didn’t take mine either.

Rob Paterson is the CEO, no response yet.

OP posts:
Notaroadrunner · 18/07/2021 15:36

@FAQs

Yep. When I told the Police officer about the other woman who witnessed it, he signed and said, oh yes the hotel has told him about her but none of the staff took her contact details, so they are also trying to trace her.

They actually didn’t take mine either.

Rob Paterson is the CEO, no response yet.

Well surely she'll be on the list of guests booked to use the pool at that particular time. Well done for not letting this go.
Mountaingoatling · 18/07/2021 15:40

The CEO will speak to his press team, possibly legal, and the regional manager. I think it's inevitable he will be advised not to reply publicly as it highlights the incident. It's the hotel manager here who seems to behaving very strangely!

Original poster
FAQs · 18/07/2021 15:50

My dd and friend was booked on but the witness was a leisure regular so apparently they can use it when they want as long as no more than 18 are in, so I asked if they scan in but apparently they don’t.

I suggested if she is a regular they must know her but they said they were not sure, although this was hotel reception not the leisure staff.

This is one of the hotels the chain promote for families for Alton Towers.

OP posts:
LongTimeMammaBear · 18/07/2021 15:59

Good for you to report to the police. I hope they do keep in at the hotel/leisure staff.

Mountaingoatling · 18/07/2021 15:59

Gosh! Well they could put an incident poster up! Or email all leisure visitors without going into details asking them to get in touch if on site. There is so much they could do.

Without minimising this horrible event, they surely must have protocols in place for a crime?

The idea of communal showers is in itself problematic.

SirGawain · 18/07/2021 16:05

Name and shame the hotel. The manager spuds a real jobs worth. What happened their duty of care?

SirGawain · 18/07/2021 16:06

Sounds

MurielSpriggs · 18/07/2021 16:19

The receptionist told me nothing has been done they are waiting for the night maintenance man to check the CCTV.

In other words they were going to do nothing, except possibly politely to tell the man to close the shower door in future, and hush the whole thing up with free glasses of lemonade. Although quite likely this man would have checked out by the time the maintenance man had got through all his other jobs and got round to watching the video. If it was even recording. Good chance it would mysteriously be out of order.

If they thought the incident required reporting there was no reason to delay doing so at all.

To be honest there is very little chance of the police charging him. Man naked in the showers, not exactly unusual. Hand on dick - he says he likes to be scrupulously clean. I don't think it would have gone further. But a visit from the police would at least make him think twice in future.

PartridgeFeather · 18/07/2021 16:20

Name and shame, on here and on the hotel's Facebook page and all their other social media. Guaranteed to elicit a fast response. Give as many details of the incident and offender as possible. Free lemonading may become a new catchword for totally unacceptable response by a corporation.

Igetknockeddown · 18/07/2021 16:22

If the man was a leisure regular then he might not be found either because he won’t be on the swim list, meaning he gets off Scott free & gets to do it again Angry