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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask vegans about their biggest dinner party bugbears

112 replies

revampneeded · 17/07/2021 19:17

I am a brown butter and cream loving non vegan with wonderful vegan friends and I want to lay on a wonderful meal for them, but I'm a total rookie.

So: asking vegans what makes their hearts sink (and conversely, what they'd most like to eat) if a friend is cooking for them?

OP posts:
Elephantcats · 17/07/2021 19:21

Roast potatoes cooked in animal fat… makes a perfectly good veggie food not veggie!

Also, I’d rather fill up on vegetables than some fancy tofu based dish. Not a tofu fan personally, and I’d hate for the host to go to so much effort when I really could have just had the side dishes everyone else was having.

TheBodyPiercer · 17/07/2021 19:23

Mushroom everything! I don't like them personally.

Also fruit salad is not a desert!

What are you cooking for the non vegans?

DragonLegs · 17/07/2021 19:25

I love mushrooms and fruit salad!

DragonLegs · 17/07/2021 19:25

Vegan lasagna is amazing or vegan pizzas which should be easy to follow a recipe off the internet

DragonLegs · 17/07/2021 19:26

Buds bears are non filling food like only salad or diet foods.

TheBodyPiercer · 17/07/2021 19:27

@DragonLegs

I love mushrooms and fruit salad!
I don't mind a fruit salad but when everyone else has a decadent cake it's quite disappointing.

Same goes for sorbet!

takealettermsjones · 17/07/2021 19:29

I second the animal fat being used on roast potatoes. Similarly, parmesan cheese being added to pasta dishes. Ditto anything with Worcestershire sauce, or desserts with gelatin.

Banani · 17/07/2021 19:30

Check the wine/other booze if you’re providing. I don’t like to put people out though so being open to me bringing my own bits like that is good.

AlmostSummer21 · 17/07/2021 19:31

The problem here is that vegans, like meat eaters, are all different.

Is this meal going to be all vegan, or are you catering for both?

If you're catering fir both, I prefer to be as little trouble as possible and am genuinely happy with the 'sides' (as long as they're vegan of course) If you want a 'menu' foe a completely vegan menu that's a whole different story!

My favourite is a tapas type meal where you can try lots of different things.

I LOVE mushrooms!

negomi90 · 17/07/2021 19:31

Meat and Veggies being served next to each other on the same plate. The touching grosses me out and will put me off the food. I felt this way as a veggie.

ceeveebee · 17/07/2021 19:33

I’m not vegan but when I hosted one of DHs vegan friends and did a cauliflower and chickpea curry it went down very well!

BruceAndNosh · 17/07/2021 19:33

I had this very discussion with a vegan friend last week.
The default pudding she is given is fruit salad or fruit crumble -yawn
She served orange polenta cake with non dairy ice cream. Delicious

Georgyporky · 17/07/2021 19:40

I'm an omnivore, but I was told by veggie & vegan friends that they were pissed off by others guests digging into my carefully prepared dishes that were aimed at them - & there wasn't much left !
So label dishes as priority for non-omnivores.

1starwars2 · 17/07/2021 19:43

To be honest I am largely grateful that anyone has made an effort.
I happily eat anything that is vegan.
I also love fruit salad!
I love tofu and meat substitutes, but nicely cooked vegetables are even better.
How about a summer vegetable risotto and some sort of tasty bread (ciabatta) and salad?

PerseverancePays · 17/07/2021 19:57

The most versatile vegan cake recipe is Jamie Oliver’s vanilla vegan cupcakes. I’ve made it as a lemon drizzle, chocolate cake, coffee and walnut and even Dundee and it’s worked every time.
Another trick is there’s a vegan ice cream in a white hexagonal box, well that can be left to melt and it keeps its texture and is delightful to serve with cake (or the fruit salad).
I usually serve black bean burgers and as many sides as I can be bothered with.

Sparklesocks · 17/07/2021 20:03

My sister is vegan and her bugbear is more for restaurants but also relevant to dinner parties - when the only vegan starter/main option is basically the same. So you’ll have a like a mushroom tart for a starter, and then say a mushroom risotto. I suppose in the same way that you probably wouldn’t serve meat eaters something like a beef carpaccio followed by a bourguignon!

WhatTheFlap · 17/07/2021 20:07

Mezze is always a favourite of mine!
Hummus
Babaghanoush
Pitta breads
Falafel
Stuffed vine leaves
Roasted veggies
Tabbouleh
Etc.

Also love a mushroom! But agree that sorbet or fruit salad is a shit dessert. I do enjoy a crumble though 😂

ScaredOfDinosaurs · 17/07/2021 20:13

Swedish Glace is the name of the fake ice cream mentioned by PP that comes in the hexagonal tub, it is really nice.

Magnum do amazing Salted caramel vegan ice creams now too, absolutely lovely.

Both of the above are palatable to non vegans which can be a downside if someone else who's not vegan gets there first.

Thethuthinang · 17/07/2021 20:16

Mushrooms bourguignon. Some amazing recipes out there. For dessert, pies (cherry?) are much easier than cakes to make super tasty and vegan. For any recipe (stroganoff? Vegan lasagna?) that involves a dairy substitute, look for those made with cashew cream...

revampneeded · 17/07/2021 20:17

Elephantcats good, non beef dripping roasties I can do! I like tofu but have never prepared it so I think I’ll skip that one.

TheBodyPiercer with you on the fruit salad, although I’ve suddenly remembered a fruit salad where you do a sprinkling of sugar and brulee the top. Bruleed pineapple and coconut ice cream??

The purist in me feels as though if I do it right the non vegans should be able to eat the same meal and be happy about it? But that may be unrealistic.

DragonLegs yay re the mushrooms. Because I know those are a source of umami (dried porcini etc) so in theory should be quite tasty, and the non vegans could dump a lot of parmesan on them. Trouble is, I can think of serving them with polenta (loads of butter and parmesan mixed in) and pasta, which often has egg in. But I must look into vegan pasta. When I hear lasagna I think “make ahead” which reduces my stress levels instantly. Thank you muchly. And again, the non-vegans can go mad with the parmesan if they want to.

takealettermsjones erm, yes, as you can see I like my parmesan. Talking about fruit salads reminded me of this great recipe for champagne jelly and a fruit salad of lychees and raspberries. Would agar agar work instead of gelatine, I wonder? Incidentally, I also have orthodox Jewish friends, and they often come up against the gelatine issue as well. So it would be useful to find a workaround.

AlmostSummer21 I’d love to do something that everyone would like, but I realise that’s a bit of a challenge. I do have a fabulous Ottolenghi recipe from the Guardian a few years back for thai red lentil soup with coconut milk and a few drops of chile oil on top, so that’s a no-brainer. The main is a bit more of a challenge.

negomi90, yeah, no, that’s just wrong, to the point of being almost passive aggressive by the host. I’d also avoid having gusts of meat-cooking smells as I’d imagine vegane or veggie friends would be quite sensitised to those. So the kind of holy grail is to come up with something so good that everyone enjoys it, even if it’s animal free.

ceeveebee ooh, interesting. I love both chickpeas and cauliflower. That’s a possibility. Or I have a recipe for tandoori roasted cauliflower (yep, Ottolenghi again…) which could make a good side…

BruceAndNosh orange polenta cake could be a winner. with berries, or a rhubarb compote, plus the ice cream. But I’d need to look into it as I’ve always used eggs in polenta cake before.

Georgyporky check! Designated serving bowls! But I’ll consider it a win if the non vegans are interested enough to steal.

1starwars2 you sound like the ideal guest and are invited! Great suggestions. My carnivorous brain can’t conceive of risotto without about a pound of butter and ditto parmesan. Clearly I need to do some research.

Thanks everyone, fab suggestions. One advantage is that my guests do like a drink, and I am a dab hand at cocktails. So I can spoil them pretty easiy on that count at least.

OP posts:
HPmagic · 17/07/2021 20:21

My DH is vegan and some of his bugbears are

  • small portion sizes
  • can never have a proper roast dinner (vegan obviously) because no restaurants do them
  • too many curry's and stirfry as main option.
  • fear of cross contamination Is the biggest and he won't eat in relatives homes or eat at family bbqs
Manicpixiedreammollusc · 17/07/2021 20:21

I would avoid anything with vegan cheese! It’s a very divisive subject (and a lot of it’s gross). This is where curries, East Asian and Middle Eastern dishes come into their own, as they don’t tend to need cheese that needs to be replaced.

mayblossominapril · 17/07/2021 20:23

The co op do amazing chocolate and salt caramel flavoured non dairy ice creams. Asda are make great non dairy garlic bread, they also sell non dairy cream and squirt you cream.
Depression cake can be turned into a decadent pudding

StCharlotte · 17/07/2021 20:25

I haven't catered for vegans much but I have a mushroom (sorry!) Stroganoff recipe that would easily adapt. I wouldn't be doing a meat dish as well. It's not like vegan food is poor substitute.

Essentialironingwater · 17/07/2021 20:25

I'm always just happy to be catered for!

My favourite ever meals:

Mezze (as above)...you can get vegan baklava for pud and serve with Swedish glace.

When I'm entertaining I quite often make mushroom bourgignon with greens and crusty homemade bread then a Tarte tatin (use jusroll for pastry and flora instead of butter) and ice cream, or a selection of curries with homemade pakoras, chapattis etc.

I can't think of anything my heart would sink at, at a friend's house but I do get sick of eating out and the only option being curry or a burger (just because it's something I can make myself, so easily). But I don't feel the same way at a friend's when they've gone to great pains.