Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask vegans about their biggest dinner party bugbears

112 replies

revampneeded · 17/07/2021 19:17

I am a brown butter and cream loving non vegan with wonderful vegan friends and I want to lay on a wonderful meal for them, but I'm a total rookie.

So: asking vegans what makes their hearts sink (and conversely, what they'd most like to eat) if a friend is cooking for them?

OP posts:
Snugabugz · 17/07/2021 22:20

I have vegan friends and always just make something everyone can eat. Recently I’ve made lentil and chickpea curry, veggie chilli (served with rice) ratatouille with cous cous. Tomorrow they are coming over and I’m making a spag bol with Quorn mince. So nothing fancy. The kids get jacket potatoes with beans or Quorn chicken nuggets.

For pudding I tend to buy a vegan chocolate mousse or something similar. But I’ve made my first vegan cake today which looks pretty good and I will serve with vegan ice cream.

NoYOUbekind · 17/07/2021 22:29

I usually make this for vegans, obviously subbing evo for the butter and vegan yogurt. I've also made it with pre-made sachets of supermarket mixed grains very successfully. It's a great dish and only really needs a salad and bread on the side.

The recipe is from Diana Henry's Oven to Table book which I use practically every week - it's great for everything from daily family meals (with meat) to vegan entertaining and because everything goes in the oven it's stress-free.

www.deliciousmagazine.co.uk/recipes/diana-henrys-butter-roast-aubergines/

Chemicalrainbow · 17/07/2021 23:54

Other guests contaminating dishes by digging serving utensils from meat dishes into the veg. Or tapping the veg serving spoon onto their meaty plate.

Put out plenty of serving spoons and, if you have two types, make a big deal about one of them being for the vegan dishes Andrew one for any non-vegan foods.

lastqueenofscotland · 17/07/2021 23:57

The only thing for me is like with sharing type meals, everyone has loads they can eat I don’t any everyone wants to try mine!!
If you’re going to do that let the vegan go first. Otherwise not fussy and would be delighted to try anything you’d made the effort to go to

TheSpottedZebra · 18/07/2021 00:15

My bugbear is where someone has gone to some effort... but used something with hidden meaty bits, or used the same utensils.

So they've made risotto but I'm not sure what stock was used, or in your example, the Thai red lentil soup. Most green and some red Thai curry sauces and pastes have shrimp in. Please assure your guests that yours does not!

LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow · 18/07/2021 10:25

This chocolate mousse is amazing and iirc Lindt 85 or 95% (maybe both!) is accidentally vegan

I make this loads because it's so easy, serve it in espresso cups, and with these almond shorties which would surely work with vegan butter or coconut oil if not melted?? I might try that to see if it works. But obv any suitable biscuit would substitute.

Soverymuchfruit · 18/07/2021 10:39

Don't get "vegan cheese". It is horrible. You can make a lovely creamy white sauce using non dairy marge, non dairy milk, flour and almond or cashew butter. You can then utterly ruin it by adding vegan cheese. Don't.

Other non dairy alternatives are nice. Vegan ice cream for example is great.

Soverymuchfruit · 18/07/2021 10:41

Following on from @Shehasadiamondinthesky 's point, a way to make a vegan purr would be to say "mmmm this coconut based ice cream is nicer than the one I usually get, I think I'll buy vegan more in future"

BillyIsMyBunny · 18/07/2021 11:01

The main thing I dislike is fake cheese, I find it really really off-putting. I had a friend serve me an individual lasagne which was covered in a fake dairy-free cheese and I really struggled to eat it, I felt awful because she’d gone to so much effort but it really didn’t taste nice. If you’re going to cook vegan avoid any fake meat/ dairy etc products if they’re going to be an integral part of the dish as they are so hit and miss.

hibbledibble · 18/07/2021 11:15

I'm vegan, but not fussy. Vegans have different food preferences. I think as long as you keep the vegan food separate to the meet you are grand.

Personally I prefer dishes with vegetables, pulses, grains etc rather than fake meats, but people have different opinions on this. Maybe ask your guests their preferences?

Mountaingoatling · 18/07/2021 11:19

I would go with an Asian recipe that is vegan and steer clear of adapted recipes. Asian meals normally feature lots of dishes and so this also has the advantage of plenty of choice. Make sure to get almond milk etc for teas and coffees.

bumblingbovine49 · 18/07/2021 11:43

Yes re the parmesan. I eat anything but my heart sinks at being served any sort of pasta dish without parmesan. As for risotto without parmesan Shock What is the point?

I know I'm not a vegan but I am just saying that Italian food such as pizza and pasta doesn't work wonderfully when done for vegans . The vegans will like it I am sure, but I can guarantee most of the omnivores won't

I prefer doing something like tapas or a dish designed for vegans based on veg. As an omnivore I think they generally work better, rather than eating a poor substitute for something because the dairy is missing. I feel the same way about meat substitutes

With regards to dessert, I'd love crumble but I like ice cream with it. So if you make crumble, make it for everyone not just the vegans , just offer vegan ice cream/ custard or normal to go with it which are easy to buy.

Selttan · 18/07/2021 11:43

Some of these suggestions sound so delicious.

I'm a non-vegan but I'd love to come and have a vegan meal. Some of my favourite meals out have been veggie forward.

I had a dish at a vegan restaurant that was amazing - potato gnocchi with an asparagus 'cream' sauce, sugar snap peas and almonds. I'm not sure what they used for the cream but it was delicious.

Maireas · 18/07/2021 11:58

@Georgyporky

I'm an omnivore, but I was told by veggie & vegan friends that they were pissed off by others guests digging into my carefully prepared dishes that were aimed at them - & there wasn't much left ! So label dishes as priority for non-omnivores.
This! It happens a lot! I had an empty bun at a BBQ last week as others had eaten the veggie sausages, because they were tasty!
Insertfunnyname · 18/07/2021 12:00

Mushroom everything. Hate mushrooms.

Maireas · 18/07/2021 12:09

@Snugabugz - that all sounds delicious! I agree with people about mushrooms (shudder) and fake meat.
Some great recipes on here, thanks @LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow et al.

MurielSpriggs · 18/07/2021 12:25

There should be some saying along the lines of beggars can't be choosers. If I've chosen to be slightly awkward for my own ethical reasons it should mainly put me out, it shouldn't require everyone else to go to a lot of trouble to try to minimise the impact on me of my own decision. So fruit salad is fine, mushrooms are fine. If someone has gone to the trouble of making something specially to accommodate me it seems very ungrateful to think that they should have gone to even more trouble.

And I really can't get arsey about cross-contamination in other people's houses, or label reading and interrogating the host. I think this depends a bit on why you're vegan. But for me it's about moving towards a more sustainable system of food production. I don't treat animal products as positively poisonous. If my mushroom has brushed against a chicken breast in really doesn't make a lot of difference.

Anyway, I guess I'm saying some vegans are more fussy than others!

BarbaraofSeville · 18/07/2021 12:27

@Littlebluebird123

I'm not a vegan,but a veggie. My main bugbers are that either my food is stolen by omnivores or it's a meat substitute. An actual vegan or veggie designed meal is so much tastier! My go to for protein is lentils - puy being the most delicious imo.
I'm not vegetarian but my bugbear is under catering the normal food that most people like that happens to be vegetarian or vegan and only allowing the vegetarians to have it.

Just make most of your food suitable for everyone and then everyone can choose what they like instead of non vegetarians getting snarled at because they dared to pick up an onion bhaji.

Just because people do eat meat doesn't mean that they want a meal dominated by it and not some of other items too.

On the matter of catering for vegetarians and vegans, just pick a theme like Indian, tapas, Mexican or mezze and do say 3 vegan options, one vegetarian with dairy cheese and something with chicken.

UseOfWeapons · 18/07/2021 12:28

Not fond of mushrooms, jackfruit 🤮or people thinking potato and leek soup is vegan, when they’ve used chicken stock.

Would love a mezze, or a summer veg risotto, they sound yummy 😋
The vegan moussaka looks good to me too, have bookmarked.

But OP, someone cooking for me is a lovely thing, and your guests should appreciate your kindness and the thought you’ve clearly put in.

PattyPan · 18/07/2021 12:31

There are plenty of accidentally vegan dishes @bumblingbovine49. Pizza marinara for one! Or penne all’arrabbiata, spaghetti aglio olio e peperoncino, spaghetti alla puttanesca (version without anchovies), pasta e fagioli etc. Just need to make sure you’ve got good quality ingredients particularly olive oil and tomatoes. (OP you mentioned looking for vegan pasta - I don’t think I’ve even seen dried pasta that wasn’t vegan)
I wasn’t brought up vegan but never liked Parmesan - it smells like sick! I make a vegan risotto and you just have to make sure you cook it properly ie stirring constantly to bring out the starch and that way it is creamy without any dairy products.

QuattroFormaggi · 18/07/2021 12:35

My new favourite ice cream is the Wicked Chai Latte (vegan) from Tesco, which is made with coconut cream. I'm not even veggie but I ate a whole tub last week and didn't feel nearly as sick as when I ate a tub of Baileys ice cream Grin Definitely a great dessert option, especially with some fruit compote.

When I have a big gathering, I have vegans, veggies and coeliacs. Tend to go for loads of different curries and sides, because they're easy to make in advance and freeze. Great advice about having plenty of serving spoons! I would rather make vegan than vegetarian as it cuts out any possible doubt for the person eating it.
I always make far more vegan than meat dishes and never try to adapt eg pasta dishes because they're invariably disappointing.

coogee · 18/07/2021 12:39

I'm not a vegan,but a veggie. My main bugbers are that either my food is stolen by omnivores

That’s the thing with omnivores, there’s no such thing as vegetarian or vegan food. It’s just food, to be eaten.

Just make most of your food suitable for everyone and then everyone can choose what they like instead of non vegetarians getting snarled at because they dared to pick up an onion bhaji.

This is my approach, although I haven’t had to cater for a vegan yet.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 18/07/2021 12:40

Not Vegan, but often have to have the Vegan option due to dairy/lactose allergy/intolerance...

I look for lots of variety and freshness. A Vegan beige/brown/taupe combo is no less disappointing than a processed meat and pastry/breadcrumbs based one. and Vegan Quorn tastes like crap whatever you do with it

Vegetables, veggies, veg. Separate dishes, so there's a lot of choice (and no chance of those who have already had their standard food grabbing all of the lovely veg based stuff as well).

Tabbouleh is brilliant. As long as you use a huge bunch of parsley and not the homeopathic doses most people do. Using Bulghur Wheat (like you're supposed to) is far nicer than couscous in pretty much every situation in the world. And I think polenta is disgusting, no matter what else is added to it to try and hide it's taste and texture.

Provide lemons, limes, other dressings to add as liked. Something pretending to be a creamy dressing could be revolting looking at you, cashew or almond anything and if it's all over the animal/dairy free stuff, you're stuck with it.

Curries are great and don't need a cream replacement - potatoes or potato starch thicken things up brilliantly. Making little fritters of onion, carrot and spices with some chickpea flour (water to make a light batter) and then baking in the oven are far nicer than a single, massive and greasy onion bhaji. Mini naans (check there isn't yoghurt added or make your own flatbreads) are brilliant, especially if toasted on an open fire.

Fruit needs to be available separately, not just chucked into a bowl and smooshed up together. As this can be equally appealing to the dairy lovers, get far, far more than that expected for two people. Strawberries are always appreciated.

Be aware of bread/rolls. Whilst the cheapie 'brioche' may not have it in there and the sugar content is horrid anyhow, the 'better' ones will have dairy added (or even actual butter).

And if there's a barbecue, a) don't cook meat on the rack and then expect vegans to want anything from there and b) make space for half cobs of corn on skewers that can then demolished with a spicy dressing. Opportunities for chilli and chilli flakes are your friend.

Obviously, not all of these go together at once, but the general principles are that the 'sides' are hugely important, as you're not just chucking them in as a mere distraction from a main event of animal products, vegans don't necessarily demand ersatz meat products when there are vegetables, grains, pulses and thousands of years of animal free cuisines in human history to choose from - and the non vegans are likely to allow be very, very interested in what's to offer, so over-cater rather than err on the side(dishes) of caution.

Farwest · 18/07/2021 12:42

When I have vegans over, I just make vegan food for everyone. Much easier for me to plan and prepare, and everyone gets a delicious meal.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 18/07/2021 12:43

shehasadiamondinthesky 'I personally never mention it'
You must be the only vegan who doesnt. Wink

Swipe left for the next trending thread