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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to find my child annoying?

55 replies

blaisealex · 17/07/2021 19:00

I think my DS is naughty and it's my fault but I'm not sure what to do about it. Or perhaps it's just normal behaviour for his age that he'll grow out of. But he's starting to irritate me quite a lot. I watch him sleep and he looks like an angel but within half an hour of waking up, I'm already iritated with him.

He's three. He's a bloody fidget and won't sit still anymore. He eats at the table most of the time but when we have a meal on laps in living room he keeps getting up and jumping around the room with food in his mouth. He doesn't listen when we tell him to sit down. He mucks around at breakfast time, wanting to make his own breakfast but spilling everything everywhere and then not eating any of it.

He's very demanding and bossy. And literally doesn't listen to word we say. When he's at Nursery or with family though, he's an angel.

Not sure where I'm going with this tbh, I'm just finding it hard at the moment and worried about how he'll grow up with how he behaves now. I want him to listen and do as he's told but I've no idea how to change things.

OP posts:
rainbowstardrops · 18/07/2021 09:17

Three year olds are hard work but as others have said, they need firm boundaries, routines and consistent consequences. I know you said you don't want to upset him or make him sad but they need these things to help them grow!

You need to start by clearing the table (do you really leave the plates from the night before on the table? Confused) and start right now with boundaries etc.

You'll be doing him a favour and making your life easier in the long run.

GiantToadstool · 18/07/2021 09:44

I dont agree with punishing a child for being 3 and doing normal 3 year old things. We should be guiding and teaching them to do differently.

I love Blatantly's post on the first page explaining that behaviour is communication and working back from there. Its a completely different mindset to seeing your child as "naughty/disobedient" and instead working with your child. Remember at 3 they need to learn what you expect at meal times etc as they weren't born with it and if life is quite chaotic and not consistent then how do they know?

Make it easier for them to do well.

GiantToadstool · 18/07/2021 09:46

And Id agree by having the table for mealtimes and a usual routine.

Or maybe breakfast made in the kitchen and eaten in the lounge as an exception if it suits you.

I was wondering how else you are coping. Are you on your own? Are there other difficulties? I find my kids easier when my life is going well, and the "final straw" when I am struggling!

Oneearringlost · 18/07/2021 09:47

@Lagomtransplant

Erm, he's 3... he's just doing what it says on the tin. I am sure, what with covid and everything, things aren't easy, but he's just being a 3 year old. How is your mental health otherwise?
That's not helpful
Stompythedinosaur · 18/07/2021 10:49

Your expectations are unreasonable - his brain works differently to yours, he is not able to have the same level of impulse control.

Just eat at the table if he gets over exciting eating on the sofa.

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