To insist on paying him?

[akaryotic]

There's a boy that lives near my mum, he's 15/16. He mows her lawn and he seems like a really nice lad as he's always helping other neighbours by mowing their lawns and he did some shopping for a mum with a newborn.

He also asks my mum if she wants him to go to the shops for her (she's got problems with her mobility so is in a wheelchair). He asked her recently and I was self isolating so she said yes, he also knew I was isolating so he had a cuppa with her.

I do offer to pay him but he always says it's fine etc.

Next time wibu to insist on paying him?

I suppose the problem is that he might not want to have to do it. And then if you put some money through his door, he might feel obliged to do it again or on the other hand he might think if he does it again you'll think he wants to be paid for it. Do you know his mum?

I would defo want to give home something, but agree with pp that he might then see it as an obligation.

How about give him a decent amount at Christmas as a one off gift?

I'd also want to contact his school/college to let them know. They'll be writing a reference for him and they should know what a decent character he is.

Oh yeah he's a good boy! If he won't accept cash, might be worth getting him a voucher, or some yummy treats x

Next time you see him say "here's a gift for you" and hand him some money. Then tell him it's because he's a nice lad and you don't need him to do anything in return because he does nice things for people, and your doing something nice for him.

What a lovely boy. I'd be so proud if he were my son.

I like the letting the school know idea, it shows great character. Can you find out his birthday and get him a present then?

@showmewhatyougot

Oh yeah he's a good boy! If he won't accept cash, might be worth getting him a voucher, or some yummy treats x

"Yummy treats"?

@showmewhatyougot

Oh yeah he's a good boy! If he won't accept cash, might be worth getting him a voucher, or some yummy treats x

He is not a puppy

Man here. He may be refusing payment because he's nice, but as other have said it may be because he doesn't want it to turn into an obligation. I mowed my MIL's (extensive) lawns for years without payment. I did it when it suited me, and if I missed a week, too bad. She gave me a decent bottle of whisky every Christmas, and I was 100% happy with that. If she'd tried to pay me actual cash per mow, I would have felt I was entering a contractual obligation and felt much less like doing it. The idea of a nice gift - just "to thank you for your kindness" is a lovely compromise.

I really like the idea of giving him a larger amount of money at Xmas/birthday in a card with a note saying thanks for all of your hard work.
As a PP said if you pay him he may feel he has to do it or feel he doesn’t want to do it because you feel guilty.

*How about give him a decent amount at Christmas as a one off gift?

I'd also want to contact his school/college to let them know. They'll be writing a reference for him and they should know what a decent character he is.*

This!!!

@ForeverSausages

*How about give him a decent amount at Christmas as a one off gift?

I'd also want to contact his school/college to let them know. They'll be writing a reference for him and they should know what a decent character he is.*

This!!!

Definitely this. If we are happy to call out bad behaviour, we should also make a fuss about the good. Plenty of decent people about, but we never hear of them!

What about a gift card for somewhere like Amazon and say it’s just a thank you for your help. I like the idea of informing his school/college about his volunteering to help his neighbours

Hi 'Man There'

Pretty sure someone already suggested this upthread

Give him your name and number and tell him he can pass it on in the future if he needs a character reference for anything.

And yes, just make him take the cash!

Um. Confused about how having a penis is relevant to answering the op.

Man here

What has being a man got to do with it?

Man here

You really didn't need to point that out. We 'd have probably worked it out from your post. You make a couple of good points but marching onto a thread announcing you're a man puts the backs up of many MNers.

Post what you like, join in the discussions, we don't need to know if you're a man or a woman. Usually it's irrelevant.

I'd be so proud if that was my son. If you can speak to his parents ask if he does any gaming, so you could get a playstation voucher or xbox, or sports direct/ JD voucher is he wears sporty clothes. Or just eat voucher, cinema, anything to treat himself. He just sounds like a good lad and its nice to hear there are some about.

What has being a man got to do with it?

Males and females often think very differently so the PP probably wanted to give his opinion as a male as the person in question is a male.

Woman here.

How about giving him an Amazon (other stores are available) gift card with a thank you note.

Don't those "love 2 shop" vouchers work for loads of places? You could maybe get him one of those

@FrogWaa

Um. Confused about how having a penis is relevant to answering the op.

It gives you special powers, making you more rational and intelligent and wiser than those without.

Wannabe cat here. I think a gift card would be a good idea. walks off in a haughty fashion

Goodness me everyone, has the heat got to you? Some very nasty replies on here towards other posters.

@Daisychaincarrot

Goodness me everyone, has the heat got to you? Some very nasty replies on here towards other posters.

I don't think pointing out mansplaining is nasty.

Should the wimmen just 'be kind'?

I know Man Here was just trying to give a 'male perspective' but the announcement was very funny given someone had already posted a similar suggestion.