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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do I really want to go down this road?

59 replies

ZoinksRun · 17/07/2021 00:37

Sorry for being vague:
Person A is my boss. Person A made a mistake a year ago that caused me a lot of stress and cost me financially. A couple of months ago person B told me that person A had made the same mistake with them and it had effected them negatively, and impacted their career progression. These mistakes are made through carelessness and a disregard for procedures rather than maliciously.
Person B is taking this further. This might result in person A getting dismissed. Person B wants me to tell them what happened with me last year. I'm not sure I could live with partially responsible for someone losing their job. The mistake has had no repercussions for me now. It's not effected anyone else. Person A is a nice person, we get on well. I understand why person B is angry, as I was this time last year. Should I just say that I don't want to speak to HR?

OP posts:

PopcornMuncher · 17/07/2021 06:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Jent13c · 17/07/2021 07:08

I feel like even with procedures in place this kind of thing often still happens. Years ago I was phoned by a district manager and asked if I wanted to interview for a role which I knew a colleague had applied for and done the training course for. I obviously got the job but they put them through the process of the application and interview knowing they would never employ her.

Your boss is setting the company up for legal action, these procedures are in place for a reason. If they are not following them then it should be reported and the consequences that she faces are not because you added your grievance but because she did it in the first place. Your colleague feels her career has been impacted by this poor practice so she should complain and if you feel the same you should to. The only awkward thing would be if she had actually done things right and your colleague had read the situation wrongly and the boss would find out your complained but obviously still be your boss.

Cloudninenine · 17/07/2021 07:13

How did it cost you financially if it was a work mistake? Not being snarky at all, just curious as to how it unfolded!

It’s really up to you - if you think it’s likely to happen again (and I suspect it would since it has happened twice) I would be inclined to report.

LakeShoreD · 17/07/2021 07:26

It doesn’t sound like a mistake at all. It sounds like person A knew exactly what they were doing- they didn’t accidentally hire another candidate for those new job roles did they? Like oops didn’t mean to send the hiring paperwork to that email address but now they’ve signed it there’s nothing I can do. All the extra work you did because you were expecting a promotion, I’m sure that benefited A. They really don’t sound like a nice person. By the account given here it seems like they have manipulated and taken advantage of you and B by dangling a promotion in front you that you were never ever going to be considered for. Absolutely I’d give HR a factual account and let them decide.

Sweak · 17/07/2021 07:31

Aren't you just assuming she will be sacked? Aren't HR more likely to give a warning and offer recruitment training?

Two things stuck out for me:
suitable for promotions, childcare responsibilities ruling them out etc. - this is terrible, and surely if all employers took such an approach working parents wouldn't get far in the work place (let's be honest largely working mothers)

Secondly, if you do X,y,,z you will get a promotion and then it never happens...are you sure this carrot isn't being dangled intentionally to get you to do work either outside of your job description or working hours? Are you really sure it's not intentional?

MartyHart · 17/07/2021 07:32

How can you accidentally mislead someone that they will be promoted? How can you accidentally not follow recruitment procedures? A mistake would be forgetting to send an email or losing a file.
OP, she's well aware of what she is doing and is continuing to do it.
If the time with you (probably not the first time she's done it) she didn't learn anything then you are letting your colleagues and the company down if you don't speak when asked.
The company could be left open to legal action because of her recruitment M.O.

Cam2020 · 17/07/2021 07:41

Aren't you just assuming she will be sacked? Aren't HR more likely to give a warning and offer recruitment training?

I was thinking the same thing. Sacking seems dramatic, unless this person is already under a warning.

Peoniesandpeaches · 17/07/2021 07:43

@ZoinksRun

The thing is though, if person A just put out a job advert, she could have hired anyone she wanted anyway! She didn't have to hire person B or me, if she'd just gone down the official channels she could have done exactly the same.

Not quite. She would then need to justify the decision based on points scored against certain criteria and it can be audited. It’s not impossible to fudge but certainly harder than her current method of “because I say so.” She’s opening up the company to a host of potential lawsuits with her actions.

AbsolutelyPatsy · 17/07/2021 07:49

surely there are procedures to follow to employ someone?
HR need some sort of involvement otherwise what is to stop people just giving jobs to their friends.
they need to prove who is the best candidate and why

MyriadeOfThings · 17/07/2021 07:49

Support person B.

A has already ignored you for a promotion. A is using reasons such as needing childcare for not giving a job to someone.
Do you really think you have any chance of a promotion whilst working for A???

Rules are there for a reason- to protect people from managers like A. It’s not just a small mistake.

Btw if A was loosing their job,, it would be THEIR fault. Not yours. They know very. Well what they are doing. And if they don’t, they shouldn’t be in that job either.

Terhou · 17/07/2021 07:54

I don't understand why HR doesn't already know. Surely when someone suddenly appears in a new position without there having been any proper recruitment process they would notice?

FrogWaa · 17/07/2021 08:00

How the hell was it a mistake? She didn't trip and land on the 'hire new person' button. She knew exactly what she was doing. Your boss may have not been required to hire you but if you believe you were the Best person for the job you could have discussed it with HR. Hard to do if you don't even know the job exists This is massively out of order and yes,you should help B. She's doing the right thing.

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 17/07/2021 08:07

Person A sounds like she doesn't give a shit and just does what she wants when she wants, to hell with the consequences for others.

How many other people are you going to watch her impact on the careers of before you'd think it was ok to take a stand?

pilates · 17/07/2021 08:14

If HR asked the question then I would answer truthfully but agree it’s weird how they wouldn’t know what’s going on anyway.

Ariela · 17/07/2021 08:20

And the next time A wants a load of extra work done and promises you the moon: will you step up and do it on the basis you'll get promoted?

FrenchBoule · 17/07/2021 08:33

A is not a nice person as you describe it.
You didn’t get a promotion and neither got B.
You say B is still able to work towards promotion? Are they going to get it or not because of A’s “mistake”?
Nobody makes the same mistake twice.
A is crap manager and very unprofessional if they discuss with colleagues who “deserves” promotion and who doesn’t.
People’s childminding shouldn’t come as a factor at all.

Support person B. Person A needs to change their ways.

SirYawnsAlot · 17/07/2021 08:42

Sounds very malicious to me, she is gaming and structuring a system to benefit herself so doesn't sound absent minded. Support your colleague. Who knows, one of you may get her job.

hedgehogger1 · 17/07/2021 08:44

Person A is not a good person. If you are asked tell the truth

Carrott21 · 17/07/2021 08:45

Another struggling to see a mistake.

Whyo · 17/07/2021 08:51

HR will be absolutely aware of all job roles and employees, I don’t understand how they wouldn’t be aware already of what you’ve described.

If you and B were indeed the best person for the roles then why weren’t you hired for them? I don’t think you not getting a role you think you were working towards could be the basis of someone losing their job.

Were you both explicitly told that such promotion was to occur or has it been assumed?

PuntasticUsername · 17/07/2021 08:57

Oh, come on. Person A has behaved dreadfully (and she'll do it again if she gets the chance, that's clear). Of course you should support Person B.

Also, you appear to feel an excessive weight of responsibility re whether your boss loses her job. If she does, it'll be because of things she herself did without any input from you. And you won't make the decision, HR will.

Do the right thing. Help stop her getting away with this kind of crap.

MrsPinkCock · 17/07/2021 09:06

I wouldn’t go and volunteer the information, but you’ll need to answer any questions asked of you by HR or the investigating manager.

Refusing to comply with the investigation would be a failure to follow a reasonable management instruction (and could be a breach of contract, depending on its terms) so you could face disciplinary action yourself by actively refusing to assist.

3Britnee · 17/07/2021 09:14

@ZoinksRun

Sorry for being vague: Person A is my boss. Person A made a mistake a year ago that caused me a lot of stress and cost me financially. A couple of months ago person B told me that person A had made the same mistake with them and it had effected them negatively, and impacted their career progression. These mistakes are made through carelessness and a disregard for procedures rather than maliciously. Person B is taking this further. This might result in person A getting dismissed. Person B wants me to tell them what happened with me last year. I'm not sure I could live with partially responsible for someone losing their job. The mistake has had no repercussions for me now. It's not effected anyone else. Person A is a nice person, we get on well. I understand why person B is angry, as I was this time last year. Should I just say that I don't want to speak to HR?

Person A should lose their job

Woman up, ffs.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 17/07/2021 09:21

Personally I'm sick of getting embroiled in other peoples shit which I often did for the first 10 years at work.
I've been working for 40 years and you can guarantee it will go badly for you.
The only time I got involved with work politics was when my old boss tried to sack me for being pregnant, I took him to a tribunal and he got sacked.
Other than that I don't want to know.

Brefugee · 17/07/2021 09:23

Recently she did the same to my colleague, overlooked her for two promotions and then hired someone else for a role which didn't previously exist

She did this to you as well? Have some self respect. She is a user and this is appalling.

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