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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How the hell do you meal plan successfully?!

122 replies

Burnt0utMum · 16/07/2021 19:13

I've tried repeatedly to do meal planning but it just never seems to work out. I do a mix of regular/easy meals with the odd new recipe here and there. First problem is anything that requires fresh ingredients go off before the end of the week so I have to go shopping more than once a week or not have fresh veg in meals near the end of the week. Second problem is people not just eating the specified meals. Kids are fussy and end up refusing most meals (can't even get them to eat basic freezer food so it's not just a case of not liking veg, they barely like anything). DH is also fussy and ends up making his own food with whatever he finds which could include ingredients for planned meals. Third problem is I don't always know where we're going to be and we end up eating out unexpectedly which throws the meal plan upside down too. Anyone actually have a way of doing it that works? Or do I give up?

OP posts:
TiddleTaddleTat · 17/07/2021 13:52

@Misty9 me too with the dietary requirements. Means quite a narrow list of options that everyone will eat.

One barrier for me seems to be how I record the plan. Bits of paper stuck to the fridge are useless when I'm out and I realise I need to pick up another ingredient.

I've looked into meal planning apps but haven't really found the ideal yet. Using my iPhone notes can be handy but I feel like I need some sort of easily viewable compendium of recipes.

My grandad had a file and typed out recipes to put in. I'd prefer something digital but not really sure what I'm looking for...

MrsMcTats · 17/07/2021 13:54

OP take a look online at 'My Fussy Eater,' she has lots of ideas and recipes. I would also suggest serving meals 'family style' rather than pre-plating. This gives children more control over what they want to eat, which is half the battle. For every meal include something you know they will eat, alongside other items and if they only eat one thing that's ok. Eventually most DC will become more adventurous if they are offered a range of foods and given opportunities to try new things (with no pressure). It took 3 years for my DS to eat blueberries and now they are his favourite. My DC eat quite widely now, but I give vitamins to keep them topped up and meal plan to have balance between what they want, what we want and what we all need nutritionally. I only cook one meal option each evening and if they really don't eat much (not very often) they can have bread and butter and fruit/yoghurt. I'm flexible with breakfast and lunch- they choose from a range of foods, but evening meals are meal planned and there is no discussion!

titchy · 17/07/2021 14:03

When ours were young we used to get them to pick one meal a week each, with the only proviso that there had to be two portions of veg in it. We did have some peculiar meals sometimes but at least they got invested in the process and agreed to something healthy. Pizza with tomatoes and cucumber, or fish fingers chips beans and sweet corn were often listed. But gradually they started suggesting chicken drumsticks instead of pizza, or jacket potato instead of chips.

Siepie · 17/07/2021 14:09

Meal planning only works if it lines up with what people actually eat.

It sounds like you’re currently putting meals on the plan that you want your children to eat, but then you end up giving them chicken nuggets anyway? In that case, why not just write chicken nuggets on the plan in the first place?

Of course this depends why you meal plan. I do it to save money and food waste, so only plan meals I know people will eat. If you’re doing it to try and expand their diets, you’d need a different approach.

sadperson16 · 17/07/2021 14:46

Im not sure about snarky and disingenous ( word of the moment).
No child is born a fussy eater.....it must come from somewhere.
Of course we all have likes and dislikes but the poor parent or parents are run ragged quite literally serving these small children.
I think it is reasonable to say this is your meal , please eat it.

lazylinguist · 17/07/2021 15:59

No child is born a fussy eater.....it must come from somewhere. Of course we all have likes and dislikes but the poor parent or parents are run ragged quite literally serving these small children. I think it is reasonable to say this is your meal , please eat it.

Do you think parents don't present their children with meals and expect them to eat it? Do you honestly believe that all the parents with fussy children are just somehow 'doing it wrong'?

With standard pre-children naïvety/arrogance, I was determined that I would not have fussy children. I can't think of anything we did that was 'wrong' about this aspect of parenting. My children are not big eaters. If they don't like something, they would rather go hungry. Obviously I didn't serve them entire meals made of things I knew they disliked, so they would just eat the bits they liked and, short of literally force-feeding them,nothing would induce them to eat the bits they didn't.

sadperson16 · 17/07/2021 16:03

OK @lazylinguist, I just think its a shame to be consulting very small children on what they would like.
Sometimes they may like some simplicity and boundaries.

I thought I would be a good parent and it turned out I was pretty crap at it for many a long year.

Burnt0utMum · 17/07/2021 16:11

Reasons for wanting to meal plan is partly to save money and have less waste but also for us all to eat better food and to get the kids eating more variety. Lunchtime kind of proved my point. I let them help put the food in the oven and onto the plates and let them decide how much to have of each thing. DS put loads of carrots on his plate but then refused to eat any of them but did do well with the chips and nuggets. DD (who chose the meal) ate the nuggets and picked at the chips and refused the carrots. I told her there'd be nothing else after and she did reluctantly eat half the chips but not the carrots. It's even a battle to get her to eat plain chips that she chose!

OP posts:
sadperson16 · 17/07/2021 16:27

Children operate in quite a different way to adults and have limited idea of time. They may think they want chicken when they are asked at 10 am but by 12.30 they want ice cream.
Could you lessen the choices OP or as another poster suggested 6 days, its your decision, one day they choose?

MythicalBiologicalFennel · 17/07/2021 16:27

Ah it's not easy OP is it? Mine have gone through very fussy phases and right now seem pretty chilled and adventurous.

The things that work for us are:

Variety - let them try things you don't like, for example. Let them see you try new things. DH hates cheese but DD loves it. Let them develop their own tastes.

Letting them serve themselves at the table

Every now and again doing taster sessions- different apple varieties, fish types, sauces, color carrots, types of cheese etc.

No pressure. No tempers. No cajoling. No tears. No bargaining. The food's there. If they like it - great. If they don't - they can help themselves to other healthy, plain food. I find if meal times are calm they are more likely to try new foods.

Good luck

lazylinguist · 17/07/2021 17:11

The thing is, sadperson16, small children have so little control over what goes on in their lives. Rightly so - a small child in charge would be a terrible thing. But they soon discover that one of the things they do have power over is what they choose to put in their mouth. Or not! As the OP shows, sometimes they refuse to eat even things they chose!

I'm not advocating pandering to mini tyrants at all! I just think that unless you've experienced having a fussy child it's easy to think that just giving them the food you have chosen to make and telling them to eat it because they're not getting anything else will actually work. It's what you do when it doesn't work that matters.

Incidentally, I was a fussy eater too (age about 3-6). I grew out of it. A bit too much. Grin

Anyway... good luck OP!

MadMadMadamMim · 17/07/2021 17:15

I vaguely plan meals based on the dates that things go out of date.

So tonight will be something with chicken, because the pack of chicken breasts needs eating. Tomorrow it's likely we'll BBQ the belly pork or maybe the salmon if it's still hot. Monday might be mince based - chilli maybe.

That's the only way I plan it - and I like thinking of what I fancy that day. Other people eat it or go hungry.

Grellbunt · 17/07/2021 17:34

Do the fussy eaters eat snacks?

When my first was a toddler I always felt inadequate as all the other mum always hd tons of snacks on them at the park and so on. But the older our kids got the more it becalmed clear that the snackers would leave half, or all, of their lunch. So I have stuck to my "snacks in emergencies only" policy.

NeverForgetYourDreams · 17/07/2021 17:59

@Burnt0utMum

Reasons for wanting to meal plan is partly to save money and have less waste but also for us all to eat better food and to get the kids eating more variety. Lunchtime kind of proved my point. I let them help put the food in the oven and onto the plates and let them decide how much to have of each thing. DS put loads of carrots on his plate but then refused to eat any of them but did do well with the chips and nuggets. DD (who chose the meal) ate the nuggets and picked at the chips and refused the carrots. I told her there'd be nothing else after and she did reluctantly eat half the chips but not the carrots. It's even a battle to get her to eat plain chips that she chose!
I know it's hard to imagine, but my very fussy eater son has now turned into a non fussy eater. There are still some things he hates (I hate some things too) but mostly he's good. He's even off to chef school next year !

If I had my time again, I would give them what you know they eat even if it's repetitive and don't get stressed about it. Mealtimes were AWFUL in my house until about 5 years ago. He's now 15

Have what YOU want for YOUR dinner and give them what you know they like.

Hugs. It's a sh*t I know.

NumberTheory · 18/07/2021 00:16

@Burnt0utMum

Reasons for wanting to meal plan is partly to save money and have less waste but also for us all to eat better food and to get the kids eating more variety. Lunchtime kind of proved my point. I let them help put the food in the oven and onto the plates and let them decide how much to have of each thing. DS put loads of carrots on his plate but then refused to eat any of them but did do well with the chips and nuggets. DD (who chose the meal) ate the nuggets and picked at the chips and refused the carrots. I told her there'd be nothing else after and she did reluctantly eat half the chips but not the carrots. It's even a battle to get her to eat plain chips that she chose!
Then you really need your DH on board. If he isn't going to eat what you've cooked he needs to plan what he's going to cook so you can shop for it and he needs to refrain from using the stuff you've bought for planned meals.

There are ways to make this more flexible - he doesn't necessarily need to have every meal mapped out if he has plenty of go-tos that don't need fresh ingredients. You could have enough in for him to decide which one he wants when he wants it, providing you have storage space. And the other possibility is freezing portions so he can just defrost a portion when he gets in. He does need to agree that you need to do this, though. If he isn't on board and won't refrain from using things you have planned to cook with, it's going to be hard.

The variety issue is most likely just going to take time and perseverance. Meal planning will help you be more deliberate about variety, but it isn't inherently varied itself. My kids have always been pretty varied eaters (though they each have their no-go foods!). I do find it's easy to slowly move towards a few staples that aren't necessarily that healthy. When I realise we've done that I put a limit on it (e.g. only have chips once a week) and tell them what those limits are each time they ask for the food so they're aware they aren't going to get it now but they will be able to have it next week, or whenever. Also, from what I've read, exposure is supposed to be a big part of expanding palates, so just make sure you put some on their plate and don't worry too much at first if they don't eat it. All those carrots they took and didn't eat is one step towards them actually consuming them (hopefully!).

If you want to involve them in meal planning, you can't let them choose at each meal what they want to have, but you could let them help choose for the week. Maybe alternate between meals they are more familiar with and meals you're trying to introduce and if they complain about the food, remind them that they get "their" meal on Thursday (or whenever). But I agree with a previous poster about not getting too stressed about it. Stressing about it just doesn't help so long as they are eating something.

For fresh food - given you're busy and don't have much time to shop mid-week - I think relying on your freezer is probably the way to go. Frozen veg isn't less healthy than fresh. You can also batch cook and freeze whole meals. For a long time I used to blitz onion/carrot/celery in the food processor, freeze it (lie it out in one layer on a tray to freeze before putting it in a bag else you get one big block frozen together) and then use it when I needed it for spag bog, stews, etc. over the next fortnight. Very convenient and stopped be having 3 sad half onions in the fridge that invariably got pushed to the back and forgotten about.

sashh · 18/07/2021 00:34

One barrier for me seems to be how I record the plan. Bits of paper stuck to the fridge are useless when I'm out and I realise I need to pick up another ingredient.

I've used various versions of a word document to write meal plans, I put a shopping list on the bottom of things I need to buy.

At the moment I'm trying to eat more fruit and veg so there are boxes for me to put the number of portions.

I use it for online shopping and pre covid I would buy from a local butcher and green grocer so I would put which shop in the shopping list.

This is the template

How the hell do you meal plan successfully?!
lazylinguist · 18/07/2021 08:03

I have a 'master list' in my journal, which I refer to when I'm making my weekly meal plan/shopping list. It means I rarely miss anything off the list. I agree that largepy cooking what they like is the way forward, introducing new elements on the side. Making mealtimes into a battle is massively counter-productive and should be avoided at all costs. It just makes them associate mealtimes with stress and bad feelings.

TiddleTaddleTat · 18/07/2021 09:52

@sashh thanks for sharing your plan, that looks like a good idea. The most successful meal planning I've done has been on word docs, I think I've just not had/prioritised the time to do them.

Doje · 18/07/2021 10:12

I sit down and plan for a fortnight!

We have lots of tried and tested dinners which I know the kids eat (with minimal fuss) and mix in some newness and some easy wins like bolognese and fajitas. There's always a quiche in the freezer for emergency days and filled pasta in the fridge.

Most veg lasts for at least a fortnight - green beans, courgette, runner beans, peppers, cucumber. Cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage, aubergines all seem to last forever! Any bagged salad is used up first as that lasts approx 12 hours before going manky. 🙄

InaccurateDream · 18/07/2021 19:06

I have a google docs spreadsheet - one sheet I list what we're eating that week (always adding new columns on so I can look backwards), and another sheet that's called 'things the kids will actually eat' that I use for a list to inspire me.

I get my shopping on a Thursday (Ocado mid-week pass) and most fresh stuff lasts okay until at least Sunday. Most meat will freeze if not. I plan stuff like frozen cod or steak (ie stuff that tends to have a longer date) for towards the end of the week (or for me, Mon-Wed).

Grellbunt · 18/07/2021 19:08

Frozen veg is fab - green beans and peas keep best I find.

TiddleTaddleTat · 19/07/2021 17:34

Just looked back at old Google drive docs and realised that until march 2020 (I got COVID then) we were doing a monthly meal plan. Actually this worked really well because we bought everything long life at Aldi for the month at the start, then small weekly deliveries for the fresh stuff. Might go back to that... it's nice planning on a monthly basis as I hate meal planning so reduces the amount of time I need to sit down and do it!

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