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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Interview or school play

36 replies

JoborPlay · 16/07/2021 14:39

Just that really.

Name changed because I've spoken irl about this.

I applied for a secondment (i.e. a temporary position) I've got an interview but it's in the middle of DSs (reception) school play. He so excited about it and excited about me seeing it. The interview can't be moved, I've already asked.

I probably won't get the job as another person interviewing has experience of doing it already.

Other opportunities for the position will arise, but it could be 18months or more. DS will do another school play at Easter.

YABU - go to the interview
YANBU - Gp to the play.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 16/07/2021 14:41

Can someone else go to the play?
Although you sound fairly negative about it or is that because you’re upset about potentially missing the play?

Original poster
JoborPlay · 16/07/2021 14:41

To add; I love my current job but this is the next natural progression and I've been advised to apply. I would take it if offered but won't be sad if I don't get it.

OP posts:
Original poster
JoborPlay · 16/07/2021 14:42

@rubyslippers

Can someone else go to the play? Although you sound fairly negative about it or is that because you’re upset about potentially missing the play?
DH will be going to the play.

I'm not sure I want the job, but a secondment is a good way to see!

OP posts:
DistrictCommissioner · 16/07/2021 14:43

If DH is going to the play, then go to the interview.

Flowerlane · 16/07/2021 15:34

I would go to the play as you say someone applying has More experience than you (doesn’t always mean they will get it though 🤷🏼‍♀️) and you also say you are not sure you want the job, so for me its childs play comes first.

UrAWizHarry · 16/07/2021 15:36

Pretty shitty that the interview can't be moved.

Hankunamatata · 16/07/2021 15:38

Interview. Otherwise you wont look interested in progressing

newnortherner111 · 16/07/2021 15:53

Interview. If your DS is disappointed that only his dad will be there, perhaps an opportunity to help build resilience and him understand life cannot always be ideal. May help save him becoming a 'snowflake' child later on.

Rainbowsew · 16/07/2021 15:55

As DH going to play, go to interview.

mindutopia · 16/07/2021 15:56

If you aren't sure you want the job and you don't think you'll get it and they aren't willing to be flexible, I would probably go to the play. It probably isn't the position for you. I think wherever possible employers will try to be flexible to support their (potential) employees. I wouldn't think it bodes well for the future.

Fwiw, for my current position, the interview clashed with dd's nativity play. I told them I couldn't be available that day. They re-arranged the entire interview panel for a day about 3 weeks later (the next time the panelists could all be free). It was a good sign to me that they valued considering me for the role and that they would be good flexible employers who supported my work-life balance, which has turned out to be very much the case.

Skysblue · 16/07/2021 23:16

Go to the play.

A kid at our school got stood up by their parent because of work. Kid was disappointed. Kid cried the whole time. 60 kids and 119 parents had a pretty crap time. Obvs that’s unusual but it doesn’t bode well that they are so inflexible on the timing.

Go to the play.

Porcupineintherough · 16/07/2021 23:51

What sort of shit employer cant be flexible about an interview time? How difficult would it be to move it by a few hours? That alone would make me think they werent seriously considering your application.

Roodicus21 · 16/07/2021 23:57

Lots of schools either not having parents at school events or only one, so don't feel guilty. Your dh is going so I would go to the interview.

Stompythedinosaur · 17/07/2021 00:01

I would normally prioritise my job, but if you don't stand much chance then I'd go to the play.

SeaToSki · 17/07/2021 00:06

DH goes to the play, videos it on phone. You watch it later that night with dc and popcorn on sofa. Dc gets to provide running commentary and backstage gossip. Its like watching the oscars on tv rather than being there in person😁

thepeopleversuswork · 17/07/2021 00:09

Interview. I can understand why you feel torn but your DS will get over it. The long term consequences of not getting the promotion are more serious.

Particularly if your DH is going.

Eeiliethya · 17/07/2021 00:21

I would go to the interview if DH would be there representing the clan, even better if he recorded it. I adore my 4 year old, which is why I work my arse off to try and give her the finer things in life - which involves career progression.

TBH as he is in reception, I'd be half tempted to say I was there but he must have been unable to see me (would watch the recording beforehand though)Grin

You might also get the job...

BackforGood · 17/07/2021 00:28

I assumed from your OP that you were a single parent with no close friends or relations that could go to the play - and I still thought you needed to go to the interview.
Now you have said your dh is going, I can't see any possible reason not to go to the interview.

GreyhoundG1rl · 17/07/2021 00:33

@Skysblue

Go to the play.

A kid at our school got stood up by their parent because of work. Kid was disappointed. Kid cried the whole time. 60 kids and 119 parents had a pretty crap time. Obvs that’s unusual but it doesn’t bode well that they are so inflexible on the timing.

Go to the play.

That's fairly extreme. There are always working parents missing. I've never seen a child cry at all, never mind all the way through a performance.
Sounds very badly handled anyway.
Crazycakelady17 · 17/07/2021 00:35

We have the exact same dilemma but it’s DH interview but y6 leavers assembly he went to both our boy and both DD and DH are gutted he can’t go but I will be there and they are filming it so he will see it
He’s going to be the one taking her to the “disco” the same night so he will get to do some for the last events I’m dreading it I cried at DS2s because he started crying giving his little speech but DD is much hardier thank goodness for masks!

WyfOfBathe · 17/07/2021 02:42

@Skysblue

Go to the play.

A kid at our school got stood up by their parent because of work. Kid was disappointed. Kid cried the whole time. 60 kids and 119 parents had a pretty crap time. Obvs that’s unusual but it doesn’t bode well that they are so inflexible on the timing.

Go to the play.

60 kids and 119 parents would be highly unusual. I’d be shocked if every other kid there really had both parents.

No other child there had divorced parents, a parent in the military, a parent who was couldn’t get time off work, a single parent, etc?

I only ever had max 1 parent at school events as they both worked full time. My primary/nursery DC only ever have 1 parent or relative there (DP and I are both teachers so can’t abandon our own classes to go to DC’s school). I teach secondary which is different to reception, but I’d say it’s the norm for only 1 parent to attend daytime school events.

If nobody was going to see him, I’d say go to the play. But if your DH will be there, go to the interview. Your DS will be fine, especially if you tell him in advance, and won’t be the only one without two parents there.

Rainbowsew · 18/07/2021 20:12

My ds was upset once when I couldn't go to a school play, he cried, I said I'm sorry but l'm not allowed out of work, he understood even at 4. I doubt he remembers now. His father rarely went to anything being a teacher their dates usually clashed. There were always children with no-one watching them sadly.

Your dc has one parent going that's enough, go to the interview good luck!

PeterPotter · 18/07/2021 20:15

@UrAWizHarry

Pretty shitty that the interview can't be moved.
How would a job interview be moved for a reception play?
Rainbowqueeen · 18/07/2021 20:16

Interview.

Dh is going to play so your son will have one parent there. The majority of kids will probably only have one parent there.

It doesn’t matter that you think someone else will get the job, the next secondment might be given to person who comes second in this interview process.

GreyhoundG1rl · 18/07/2021 20:24

How would a job interview be moved for a reception play?
🤣. The mindset of anyone who thinks that's how life works 🤦🏽‍♀️

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