To lie about my non-existent relationship history?

[Spicymisosoup]

I'm 31, and have never been in a proper, long-term relationship. Lots of dating and short-term, getting to know each other stuff, but it has never really progressed past that for various reasons.

This is becoming a real issue when dating. The conversations usually quickly get onto the matter of previous relationships. When did your last relationship end, how long was it, etc.

The looks of shock/horror/barely disguised disdain that I receive when I'm honest and tell men that I've never been in a relationship is starting to get very tiresome. They immediately want answers as to why this is. They start trying to psychoanalyze me. They are immediately convinced that there must be something terribly wrong with me, and they want to find out exactly what it is. This is all of course, not very nice to go through at all. It really does feel like once we get to this stage, it's very hard to move further, as they become so fixated on this. I have to say though, I don't really blame them for being suspicious.

The truth is that there really is nothing wrong with me, I just haven't found someone I want to be in a relationship with. This however, never seems like a satisfactory answer to them. They are always convinced that there must be something else going on.

So would it be unreasonable to invent an imaginary ex? This 'relationship' ended several years ago, and I've been single ever since. I'm hoping this will at least give a chance for the conversation to progress past that initial barrier.

I of course worry that it wouldn't stand up to intense questioning/the story would fall apart if this imaginary ex is mentioned in front of friends(who all know that I have no ex's!), but at the moment, it's falling apart at the first hurdle!

Any words of advice?

Thank you.

Thanks everyone! Such good advice.

It really did feel like my dating conversations were falling apart very quickly as the guys immediately seemed to think red flag when I told them about my history.

However, after reading all your suggestions, I now feel fairly confident in artfully deflecting these questions, and not feeling like I have to give an in-depth answer.

:)

I am going against the grain here, if I was on a date with someone and they told me they'd never had a 'proper relationship' I would ask why. I would not be badgering someone with loads questions about it, but I would want to know. I could learn something that could set off alarm bells and make me not want to see them again or I might find out something that makes them more interesting to me. For example 'Always too busy with work' is often code for 'total workaholic, will probably cancel 50% of the time'.

Before I get flamed though - if they are badgering you and dismissing your answers that is entirely wrong.

In terms of lying, don't do it you could be setting yourself up for all sorts of future issues. If someone can't accept your dating history then they weren't right for you to begin with and better to find out now.