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Original poster

To not want DD to go to Thorpe Park?

233 replies

demo2026 · 15/07/2021 19:26

DD is 15, it is her last day at school tomorrow before the summer holidays. One of the days next week, she wants to go to Thorpe Park with her friends, 2 other girls and one boy. They're all 15, the boy said he's going to pay as his parents are giving him some money.

The problem is, his parents won't be there so it'll be just them. I'm not really comfortable as they're all only 15.

Am I being too overprotective and I should let her go? What are other peoples opinions on this?

OP posts:
Porcupineintherough · 15/07/2021 23:30

@Coasterfan how would an adult chilling out somewhere stop a member of the group being stabbed? Either it's so dangerous they need an adult with them every second or it's fine. I would suggest that the vast majority of teens who spend a day at Alton Towers do not get stabbed.

Lalliella · 15/07/2021 23:34

You’re being far too over-protective. Let her go. 15 year olds need a bit of independence.

BrainFuz · 15/07/2021 23:39

@demo2026 My DH took my son to TP when he was 12ish. He said he was the only adult there, including the staff, who were all teenagers!

GreyhoundG1rl · 15/07/2021 23:48

[quote BrainFuz]@demo2026 My DH took my son to TP when he was 12ish. He said he was the only adult there, including the staff, who were all teenagers![/quote]
God, that a bit worrying!

zoemum2006 · 16/07/2021 03:16

I would happily drop my 14 year old off at Thorpe Park and collect her at the end of the day but no way would I let her in your situation.

A two hour train ride? She’d need to catch the train to Staines and then get a bus. That is a long trip!

Thorpe Park requires pre-booking so I do find this whole premise very suspicious.

If an adult organised the tickets and the driving I’d say yes. Otherwise the answer would be no.

Original poster
demo2026 · 16/07/2021 07:42

I'm not expecting him to pay, I just posted what my DD told me that she needs money for the train and for food but the boy is paying for the ticket as he wanted to go for his birthday.

I will speak to his parents. DD only ever been in the next towns along, they've only been to the cinema, beach and the shopping centre but they've always been dropped off.

OP posts:
TheVolturi · 16/07/2021 07:46

When I was 12 I used to go to Blackpool on the train to the pleasure Beach with friends!

NerrSnerr · 16/07/2021 08:54

I will speak to his parents. DD only ever been in the next towns along, they've only been to the cinema, beach and the shopping centre but they've always been dropped off.

They have to learn to do day trips, manage money, transport, what happens if things kick off etc at some point. In a couple of years she could be living 200 miles away and it's much harder to negotiate living independently if you've been wrapped up in cotton wool at home.

alfagirl73 · 16/07/2021 09:34

It's important for them to learn how to navigate things like transport and days away etc... how will they know how to do these things if they never try? I did these things back in the day before mobile phones. It's part of learning and they presumably have mouths and can ask for help if they get stuck. There is nothing wrong with that.

I was taught to always have "emergency money" on me - I knew how to ask for help if I needed it - and that was that. My parents were fairly strict, but one thing they DID make sure of was that I had life skills, I was independent and knew how to do these things. Going to a theme park for the day, or going into town - navigating trains, buses etc... was part of that. I knew what to do in an emergency and the other thing that my parents always made sure of was that I knew that if I EVER got truly stuck anywhere & needed them to come and get me - they would. No recriminations, no lectures - in fact, I only ever had to do that once (unusual circumstances) & all I got was praise for being sensible and calling them rather than putting myself into a dangerous situation.

The only way they learn these things is to do them - things may not always go smoothly - but it's part of learning how to manage situations. This sounds like a perfectly age appropriate day out - you should let your DD go and I hope she and her friends have a great day!

Ponoka7 · 16/07/2021 09:40

I'd also wonder if they are going to Thorpe park. However she should already be doing day trips totally independently at 15. You are cutting her off from learning life skills, by being overprotective.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 16/07/2021 09:41

@Ponoka7

I'd also wonder if they are going to Thorpe park. However she should already be doing day trips totally independently at 15. You are cutting her off from learning life skills, by being overprotective.
Why would doubt that a group of 15 year olds want a day out at Thorpe Park?
ladyvimes · 16/07/2021 09:44

At 15 I would totally let them go. They’ll be fine and have a great time! What exactly are you worried about?

onlyreadingneverposting8 · 16/07/2021 09:56

Mum of 9 (20yrs down to 8 months) yes you're being over protective. If she were going alone that might be a different matter but, in a group - absolutely fine! Tbh I'd be more worried about the covid risk right now if she hasn't had it already! We've all just had it and my 17 and nearly 15yr olds were really poorly and 10days on still coughing loads!

sashh · 16/07/2021 10:29

OP

Please watch this

It's children, under 7, navigating across London, and they are not London kids.

At 15 they should be able to get themselves there and back. I assume they have phones.

Emergency money is a good idea, my mum actually sewed some into my blazer when I started secondary school.

Talk through what could go wrong, money being stolen, someone falling and getting hurt, missing the bus / train.

Then watch this 7 year old navigate Tokyo on her own.

Kanaloa · 16/07/2021 10:51

An adult on the beach would be as much help when she’s getting stabbed as an adult at home. Unless she’s going to see someone with a knife and yell ‘well my mum’s on the beach so don’t dare stab ME!’

And she could get stabbed walking to school, in town with friends, out shopping, walking the dog. It’s a horrible truth of life that at some time something dangerous might happen. At a certain age you need to prepare kids for the fact that the world is dangerous and teach them how to move in it and keep themselves as safe as possible, unless you want to be holding their hand all their lives.

Original poster
demo2026 · 16/07/2021 13:29

DD has finished school now, and I asked her if she was sure if the boy is paying as its expensive and she said yes and it'll only be her and the boy as he's fallen out with the two other girls.

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 16/07/2021 13:31

@demo2026

DD has finished school now, and I asked her if she was sure if the boy is paying as its expensive and she said yes and it'll only be her and the boy as he's fallen out with the two other girls.
Since yesterday? Hmm
staringstepan · 16/07/2021 13:33

What is the issue op? What about it concerns you?

Original poster
demo2026 · 16/07/2021 13:35

@GreyhoundG1rl not since yesterday! DD had said they all wanted to go a few weeks ago but I told her id think about it.

OP posts:
Tohaveandtohold · 16/07/2021 13:37

With your latest update, I won’t be letting her go unless she can find her way back on her own.
It’s weird that the guy has fallen out with the 2 other people in less than 24 hours.

Rainbowsew · 16/07/2021 13:41

OTT as pp said they're in a contained place designed for kids and teens, just give ground rules about sticking together, safety advice for emergencies etc

At that age I was getting the train to London to go shopping with friends!

Rainbowsew · 16/07/2021 13:45

We had a school trip there and were a bit younger. Left off the coach, teachers told us to back by a certain time to go home.

me4real · 16/07/2021 15:03

I asked her if she was sure if the boy is paying as its expensive and she said yes and it'll only be her and the boy as he's fallen out with the two other girls.

@demo2026 I don't get a good feeling about this boy OP.

Bayleaf25 · 16/07/2021 15:51

DD 15 went recently (and last year) with friends and had a great time. They’ll be fine.

Kellyclay417 · 16/07/2021 17:48

@demo2026 If you're having doubts about this, tell her she can't go. You're best placed to make the decision as you know your daughter best.
It sounds a bit dodgy that the two other girls aren't going because he's fallen out with them within the space of 5 minutes.
If in doubt, say no.

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