To consider leaving my DC alone

[QueenAstrid]

DD nearly 14, DS nearly 11. Both are sensible. We live in a quiet area with friends around the corner. Would I BU to consider leaving them alone to go out for drinks if both feel comfortable with it? I could be home in 15-20 minutes if needed.

I honestly can't believe people would think twice about this.

I must be out of touch as mine are still preschoolers but it wouldn't have occurred to me that they couldn't be left at that age! Barring SEN or a very difficult sibling relationship. I was definitely babysitting by that age.

And as for judging by the commence of the youngest, good job no parent is ever home alone with a baby then.

Why the hell would the 14 year old be knocked out??

That is probably one of the more bizarre responses I have ever read.

Totally fine. I can't recall a single time that we had a babysit from the moment I had turned 12 (and was put in charge of my younger sibling, much to their annoyance ). The worst we got up to was overstaying our bed time and stuffing our faces with crisps while watching a movie. It depends a bit on the kids in question, but if they are normally trustworthy and sensible (and not the type to suddenly start experimenting with matches), I would not hesitate for a second.

Just make sure they know what the alarm numbers are, how to lock the doors properly, and they know a trusted neighbour they could warn in case of an emergency that needs immediate response.

Yes that's fine unless either of them is ridiculously unsensible.

I've got on a weekend away and when I got back DS literally hadn't moved from in front of his computer (not really )

Yes, fine. I did this very recently with DCs same age. Mine took it all very seriously! I was gone for three hours and had a lovely time. Make sure your DD also has your friend's number in her own phone.

[quote MrsPelligrinoPetrichor]@Nocutenamesleft why not?[/quote]
I just think for me

It’s too much responsibility to put on the 14 yr olds shoulders. If something. God forbid was to happen. My 14 yr old wouldn’t be ever able to forgive herself.

In the case of chocking etc. My youngest chokes all the time. Due to a problem they had. 15-20 mins would be too long.

I just wouldn’t forgive myself if something happens. However. That’s my opinion. I’m not berating the Op. I’m just saying I wouldn’t personally. I don’t have a 14 yr old babysitting either

I do have a great story though. My mum once left me with some young girl. Slightly older. I’d say about 16. I was about 11. She took me out on the town one night. Some 30 mins away and we went to hang out with some rough motorbike dudes. However. They were so nice. They brought me magazines. Took me out on their bikes. This was around midnight. I had a great time!!!! I told my mum. Who was understandably furious. She never did babysit me again and I was so sad.

Though I think back and of course now I’m in her position. I understand it. It was brilliant though!

In the case of chocking etc. My youngest chokes all the time. Due to a problem they had. 15-20 mins would be too long presuming the OPs children don't have specific needs?

LOL@ bikers

Could the friend who is 5 minutes away not be persuaded to just go round to yours for the three hours anyway?

Just a year two early for me I think. What if they get scared at night alone? Unless you’re home before it’s dark? I also like the 20mins to get home is too long if anything happens

@FunMcCool

Just a year two early for me I think. What if they get scared at night alone? Unless you’re home before it’s dark? I also like the 20mins to get home is too long if anything happens

It doesn't get dark until almost 10pm at the moment.

If there's an emergency, OP can call the friend who's five minutes away and jump in a taxi.

I'm happy to leave my 13 year old and 10 year old for an hour or so now. They like it and enjoy the independence.

If there's any problem you're just at the end of a phone.

It's good for kids to be given some responsibility.

Love the bikers story

They have no issues with choking etc (touch wood), that's not something that would cross my mind, nor can I imagine how they'd end up unconscious whilst on the PlayStation.

If they felt scared I would of course come straight home. I don't want to ask my friend to babysit because she's busy and has her own DC to deal with. I was sort of hoping it would be fine and this would be the start of some sort of freedom or social life. I'm thinking I'll try it and text them every half hour to check up on them

Definitely don't ask someone to babysit a 14 year old!

Their ages are ok to be left but the time it would take you to return is of concern. I wouldn’t go that far at their age.

It will be fine.

I used to babysit aged 14. For a baby and a toddler. This was in the 80s, so no mobile phones. And it was a really remote house. Parents used to come home sloshed and then the dad would drive me home.

We started leaving our dc when they were about 13 and 11. They had our mobile numbers plus numbers of neighbours etc. No issues and we never got called back.

@warmfluffytowels I know it doesn’t that’s why I said unless your home before it gets dark, I wouldn’t have suggested it if it was winter and getting dark at 4pm.

I'd say if DS can ring 999 and give whereabouts, and they both have a does and don'ts chat, with DD being "in charge", YANBU. I was definitely left in at age 14, while parents had midweek night out. I was quite happy with my big border collie.

Absolutely fine IMO, assuming they are generally sensible. Quite shocked that some people think it isn't. Ours are similar ages and we will happily leave them for a few hours.

We have some lovely neighbours and one thing I do do is check that one of them is going to be home that evening, and then let the elder DC know which house he should call at in the highly unlikely event that he needs some kind of adult help quickly.

It's fine as long as both kids know the zombie apocalypse drill

My two are same age and we left ours for about 3 hours. It was fine and actually they loved it too. They had our numbers had been fed and were happy to chat to friends online and watch tv play Xbox
Go for it x

To be honest I think checking up on them every half an hour is a bad idea. You'll be on edge, and if they are anything like mine they could be so engrossed on the xbox that they will miss your message, leaving you in a really difficult situation (do you go home or not?). Just leave them to it and let them know they can call for any reason they need.

10 and 13yo, I'd be back by 10pm because of the 10 year old, otherwise a few hours is fine.

I'd leave children late at night if the eldest was 14 or older as I would count a teen as a babysitter at 14. Without a babysitter I'd be considering it as if I was leaving the youngest child alone. Of course 13 and 11 months is not any different to 14 but as a generalisation.