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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider leaving my DC alone

73 replies

QueenAstrid · 15/07/2021 17:20

DD nearly 14, DS nearly 11. Both are sensible. We live in a quiet area with friends around the corner. Would I BU to consider leaving them alone to go out for drinks if both feel comfortable with it? I could be home in 15-20 minutes if needed.

OP posts:
BigPyjamas · 15/07/2021 17:37

I would.

I was babysitting from 14

Original poster
QueenAstrid · 15/07/2021 17:41

Thanks everyone. It's next weekend, I'll have a look at the ring doorbells/cameras, I like that idea. DD bakes cakes and cooks pizzas etc with no problem so common sense tells me it's all fine! In an emergency scenario I would come straight home but also ring my friend who could be here in 5 mins.

OP posts:
JE17 · 15/07/2021 17:46

Yes I would. Enjoy your evening.

greenlynx · 15/07/2021 17:58

It sounds ok. Is it 15-20 minutes walking distance?
I would give them food, leave my phone number in different places, discuss what they are going to do and maybe promise them a small treat for being sensible.
I think some people are a bit funny in their comments and I’m usually very careful with things like this . Do people really imply that one parent should never be left with a small child because small child won’t be able to cope in case of parent fell unconscious?

MojoMoon · 15/07/2021 18:04

But what if a meteor lands on the house when you are away?

Or an escapes python comes up through the loo?

(I would say it is totally fine - as long as they are unlikely to physically fight between themselves then go for it. They have your phone number.)

Itgetsthehoseagain · 15/07/2021 18:07

I'd definitely go. And from now on life gets SO much easier!

Micemakingclothes · 15/07/2021 18:12

A 14 yo and an 11 yo can be left alone for a few hours in the evening.

I would make sure you have someone on deck as a back up just in case. Not to come over, just as a general emergency contact. One time before cell phones I was babysitting my sibling and some other kids. It was supposed to just be a work dinner and an early night. The adults didn’t return for hours and hours and hours. Close to dawn two of them finally made it back to relieve me. There had been an accident and while everyone was fine, all had been through a&e and some were still there. Truth be told everything was fine. I put the kids to bed and they had no idea anything was wrong, but it was stressful for me because I had no idea what was going on. Just in case something happens to you, the kids should know who to call, but that is true for daytime outings as well.

lollipopsandrainbows · 15/07/2021 18:12

I've got a nearly 13 yo and nearly 10yo, and I'm doing a trial one hour run with my two. I was left at 8 with my 10 year old brother, and yes times change and all that, but my circumstances are no different from my mothers - I need to work. I've been work from home since Covid but now we're returning just as the school holidays are hitting and ive no childcare. Both my kids are both very sensible, the 12yo thinks she's 18 (she wishes), but could I leave them alone on an evening? Perhaps not yet. But I'm certainly going to put my entire trust in them for the one hour I'm gone. I think we all know our own kids, we know if they can handle emergencies (they certainly knew how to look after me when I needed help). Will I get frowned at? Probably, but if I come home and they've killed each other and trashed the house then they clearly weren't ready to be left!

Original poster
QueenAstrid · 15/07/2021 18:14

MojoMoon Thu 15-Jul-21 18:04:33
But what if a meteor lands on the house when you are away?

Or an escapes python comes up through the loo?

I think they'd be more likely to cope than I would!

@Itgetsthehoseagain - that's what I'm hoping! Maybe I can have a social life again one day Grin

OP posts:
Cheerio21 · 15/07/2021 18:15

Enjoy your night op!

Original poster
QueenAstrid · 15/07/2021 18:19

@MiceMakingClothes - good idea, I hadn't thought of the possibility of something happening to me. How scary that must have been for you.

@lollipopsandrainbows I think that's absolutely fine. I was leaving mine for an hour during the day a year ago. DS comes home from school and lets himself in every day while I"m at work and he tends to be alone for half an hour and there has never been a problem. It feels different in the evening though doesn't it.

OP posts:
Echobelly · 15/07/2021 18:21

I think that's fine if you're local. I think we will start going out locally in the evenings next year when kids are that age. We already occasionally leave them for a few hours in the daytime sometimes if they don't want to come with us or we need time to ourselves.

Maryann1975 · 15/07/2021 18:21

I would and have left my dc at this age (although extremely rarely as they were that age last year- covid times). 12 months on, with restrictions easing and things opening up, we leave them on their own without a thought.

The first time I was terrified something would happen, but obviously nothing did, they were quite happy on their own, ate all the snacks and felt very responsible having been trusted to be left alone. 25 years ago I was babysitting at 13 for children under 10, and babies and toddlers at 14 as I got more confidence and parents knew I was babysitting.

Original poster
QueenAstrid · 15/07/2021 18:23

To previous PP, yes, it would be 15 minutes walking distance. I'll make sure I'm not wearing heels just in case!

So many of us used to babysit several children in our early teens , I wonder what has changed so much.

OP posts:
TotorosCatBus · 15/07/2021 18:24

I would too.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 15/07/2021 18:25

I was babysitting small kids at 14. Seriously, get yourself out and enjoy yourself!

Nocutenamesleft · 15/07/2021 18:26

No

I wouldn’t leave an 11 yr old to go have drinks on an evening out.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 15/07/2021 18:30

@Nocutenamesleft why not?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 15/07/2021 18:32

Well I recently asked my parents to babysit my 13 and 11 year olds when we were out for the evening locally but not walking distance. But I did think it might be the last time they needed a babysitter so YANBU.

Toomuchspinning · 15/07/2021 18:35

Absolutely fine :)

Mumsnet can be bizarre about this! what if someone got knocked out? What is the car catches fire on the forecourt? What if the zombie apocalypse begins?

It’s lunacy. Enjoy your night!

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 15/07/2021 18:36

I do leave them in the daytime of course but haven’t done evening yet…

lollipopsandrainbows · 15/07/2021 18:40

@QueenAstrid it really does, and like snakes coming up the toilet, I thought Freddy Kruger would suck me into the mattress when I was left on an evening...so I wouldn't leave mine on an evening yet. But it's all about building it up and if you've left yours during the day and all been fine, I don't see what the issue is. Get your dancing shoes on lady!

moynomore · 15/07/2021 18:40

Of course it's fine.

moynomore · 15/07/2021 18:42

@thelegohooverer

Would the 11 year old be able to cope if the 14 year old was knocked unconscious? Always evaluate by the capability of the younger dc.
Huh? What if I'm alone with my 2 year old and get knocked unconscious? We can't wrap ourselves in cotton wool for every bizarre and unlikely event.
GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 15/07/2021 18:42

Calling you or someone else like neighbour is coping though.