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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to have asked my neighbour for milk!!

69 replies

IAmMeThisIsI · 15/07/2021 16:40

I'm very low on money. I found some tea bags and sugar in a cupboard and realized I had no milk!

I haven't had a cuppa for days. So...I asked my neighbour for some milk over the garden fence. I feel like a peasant scumbag now!

She gave me some. And generously let me keep the cup it's come in!

Now I just feel AWFUL! Like some beggar. I feel I shouldn't have asked?

Idk if I was unreasonable to ask or if I'm being precious about getting embarrassed because she said yes! Argh!

Feel free to tell me I'm over reacting or that I shouldn't have done it!

I do plan on returning the cup with some milk in later today when I get food finally delivered...or shouldn't I?

Am I being an overreacting dick?

OP posts:

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 15/07/2021 17:05

As so many others have said, it wouldn't be the slightest problem where we are, NDN has asked us for things and we've asked them. Proper neighbours help each other out without question.

fallfallfall · 15/07/2021 17:06

Where I’m from you would give back the cup with a treat in it, generally biscuits. Or cut flowers, ie a rose from the garden.

Royalbloo · 15/07/2021 17:08

Ahhhh don't worry about it. My and my neighbour are both single parents and we keep a mutual secret fiver hidden in the garden in case either of us needs it!

SprogletsMum · 15/07/2021 17:10

Definitely don't worry. If I knew my neighbours hadn't had a brew in days I would Definitely make them one and send enough stuff round for a few more.

Notdeadbiped · 15/07/2021 17:11

Never be afraid or ashamed to ask for help, and never feel that way about offering help to others.

Porcupineintherough · 15/07/2021 17:17

I've voted UABU because I feel you are overthinking this. It's a one off and fine.

Notmoresugar · 15/07/2021 17:18

I think it's great that you asked her.
She sounds lovely and was obviously pleased that you did.
Like someone else said, I would return the cup with a Twix or whatever you like in it as a thank you.
I think that would go down very well.

TrifleCat · 15/07/2021 17:21

You are so skint you can’t afford milk - but forgot you had teabags and sugar?

EspressoDoubleShot · 15/07/2021 17:21

It was a friendly gesture from neighbour to you.
You asked politely and neighbour happy to assist everyone is happy and ok
I’d return the washed cup and a 1 pint of milk as thank you recognition but you don’t have to worry about the micro level of that

Blinkingheckythump · 15/07/2021 17:22

You're totally overthinking it. It was a cup of milk, no bother at all

Hoppinggreen · 15/07/2021 17:22

In our cul de sac I have borrowed/ lent - a table, a BBQ, my car, my dog, garden tools, books, storage boxes, a TV, a Sherlock Holmes costume, wet suits too much crockery to remember and plenty of other things.
That’s not even mentioning the stuff I gave away and have been given
As long as you would happily do the same for them it’s no big deal

EspressoDoubleShot · 15/07/2021 17:23

@Royalbloo

Ahhhh don't worry about it. My and my neighbour are both single parents and we keep a mutual secret fiver hidden in the garden in case either of us needs it!

There is something really heartwarming about that

joystir59 · 15/07/2021 17:23

I'd hate to think my neighbour couldn't enjoy a cuppa and would happily give her milk etc. One day there will be an opportunity to reciprocate or maybe pay the kindness forward.

Wrotten · 15/07/2021 17:24

My neighbours are always borrowing or offering stuff (we've a street WhatsApp group).

You're overthinking this.

saraclara · 15/07/2021 17:24

I honestly wouldn't give her the milk back. If I'd done what your neighbour did, I'd be embarrassed if you did.

The idea of the cup with a wrapped biscuit or a chocolate in it sounds sweet.

ClawedButler · 15/07/2021 17:25

Well just think of it as when you are able to help someone out in the future, you will do it. Pay it forward kind of thing.

No-one begrudges a neighbour a cup of milk or a few teabags or something like that - I'd always just assume they didn't have time to go shopping.

mayblossominapril · 15/07/2021 17:25

I would just say thank you and give the cup back. Hopefully if she needs anything she will now ask, it may be something like please hold the ladder whilst i change the light bulb. Its the start of a great neighbourly friendship

Drinkingallthewine · 15/07/2021 17:25

The norm around here - I'd not bat an eyelid. I'd assume you needed it for as an ingredient for something you are making right then and can't just nip to the shop.

I sent son next door for cinnamon powder once. He asked her for simmanimam powder but lucky she speaks fluent Kid so I was able to complete my recipe. I sent her back some of the cookies I was making later on.

Tiddleztheelephant · 15/07/2021 17:26

If I were your neighbour I'd be pleased to be able to help somebody in a small way. Beyond that I wouldn't give it a second thought.
You're absolutely fine, put it out of your head!

steff13 · 15/07/2021 17:27

I wouldn't have minded you asking, nor would I have judged you. But if it bothered you, couldn't you have just had tea without milk?

OhRene · 15/07/2021 17:27

It's totally normal. My neighbour and I will often chap the door for sugar, milk etc. It saves us a trip to the shop for the sake of a night time cuppa. I just buy a small bottle back when I next shop or we leave it til the other is asking and it evens out.

Brakebackcyclebot · 15/07/2021 17:28

OMG I borrow all kinds of things off my neighbour, ranging from milk for a cuppa, an onion, a can of tomatoes etc etc. She does the same.

mindutopia · 15/07/2021 17:30

It's absolutely fine. My neighbour (who is perfectly financially comfortable) came to ask me for a tin of chopped tomatoes the other day! It's a neighbourly thing to do. Doesn't mean you don't have money for milk, just that you've run out and can't get to the shop.

Anonymous48 · 15/07/2021 17:32

You're really overthinking this. If you were so embarrassed to ask for milk, why didn't you have your tea without? But I wouldn't think twice about giving a neighbor a cup of milk if they were out. Wash and return the cup for sure, but please don't refill it with milk - that would be ridiculous.

Congressdingo · 15/07/2021 17:37

[quote IAmMeThisIsI]@TheAwfulTruth I explained that I was desperate for a cuppa and had no milk. I don't THINK I said I was skint...that would have felt a bit like pleading poverty to me. But I found that sugar and teabags and was like....ahhhh MILK! The need for tea was HUGE lol.[/quote]
I wouldnt mind giving milk to neighbours. My street is lovely, we all look out for each other.
One of my neighbours is always handing out stuff from his farmer son.
We've all had eggs, potatoes and the like. And I've given sugar, butter, milk, bread and of course toilet roll through lockdown (I had bulk bought just before lockdown hit)

If anyone asks me for whatever item, I dont assume its lack of money, being me in fact I assume you dont want the hassle of putting a bra on just to buy milk. 🤷‍♀️

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