to ask for help with what to do with toddler DS this afternoon (I am close to a panic attack)

[pregnantncnc]

I've struggled with anxiety for over a decade. It has been very well managed for the last few years, but today I feel like I'm absolutely drowning in it. I don't know why (e.g. no accidental caffeine, no alcohol in the last month, no binge of preservative filled food, no major events coming up, house isn't a complete bomb site - my usual triggers). It has been building all week and my usual routines to calm me down haven't worked.

DS is 18 months old. He's napping at the moment but will wake up soon and I have no idea how I am going to get through this afternoon with him while I feel like this. DS is struggling too as I'm not as present as I usually am as I keep zoning out, so he was already getting frustrated and shouty this morning. He isn't the type of toddler to happily watch TV unless he's unwell. We don't know anyone where we live, not well enough that I'd want them to see me like this anyway. My family are over an hour away and DH has the car at work so I can't go to them (and he HAS to work late tonight so won't be back before bedtime). My friends are all at work.

So it is just me and DS.

I need engaging activities for DS that require minimal input from me. Anything. Even obvious things. My brain isn't working right now to think of these things for myself. I just tried googling and everything seemed so complicated. I don't mind making a mess and we have a garden.

Really grateful for any help! Thank you.

Stick him in the buggy with some snacks and go walking!

Painting, colouring, maybe baking if you can face it.

A long walk in the pram? You could listen to music.

Build him a tent using a big blanket draped over a chair. Teddy bears picnic.

What's your garden fence like? Bucket of water and a paint brush and get him to paint it?
Stick him in the bath with plastic cups?
Make some cakes or biscuits and get him to help decorate them? Nice recipe for biscuits is Mary berry's fork biscuits.

Tray of water in the back garden with some toys in

OH you poor love, that sounds very distressing.

When I felt like that I tended to take DD out in a pushchair - I could walk off the anxiety a bit while she dozed off, but your little one is already napping, so that's out.

Have you got a paddling pool? You could put a bunch of silly things in there to play with, and either get in yourself and play too (which can be good if you have anxiety - it kind of brings you into yourself and the present moment) or sit next to it on the grass and just practise your breathing?

Sorry to not be more help

Put toys in his cot or a travel cot and just try and sit next to the cot while you get yourself sorted.

Re cakes I used to get box cakes for dd, they're about £1.50 and they're themed with everything in there. I'd get extra sprinkles so there was plenty

If it's warm where you are, baby bath or basin of water in the garden with plastic cups and toys to play with.

Something water based and walk to a shop to get an ice cream (for you and him!)?

A bath? Mine will spend over an hour in the bath, especially if fairly deep, warm and bubbly.

Keep calm, you're doing great.

Get out into the garden for a bit. Big bowl of water, with cups and jugs, any receptacles you have, a colander or sieve, let him go nuts with pouring water. If you have ice cubes in the freezer add some of those. If you have dandelions (like we do!!) then pick the flowers and add them to the water.

When you need to prepare dinner, get a whisk and push small items into it that he needs to get out - pompoms work well for this but have a look around, what do you have that would work? Sit him in the high chair and get on with what you need to do.

Going to post this now so you have a response and then I'll see what else I can think of.

Towel on the floor (or just go into the garden). Washing up bowl full of water and a few suds. Every item of Tupperware you can find. Sponge or cloth. Child ‘washes up’. You sit down nearby and breathe.

I feel for you, mine is out of control at the moment.

A long bubble bath? Or put a mat down, mix some cornflour with water put it in a tray and let him play with it? Used to keep mine happy for ages.

Sorry you're feeling bad OP, unexplained anxiety is the worst.
Does he like water play? If the weather's nice, you can set up a tub in the garden with lots of things for pouring. Doesn't have to be toys but empty milk bottles, ice cream tubs etc etc would work. Or if the weather's not so good, set him up in the bath with similar.

Agree with everyone saying pushchair walk. Brilliant for taking their attention off you and letting you get your head straight.

Alternatively, if you have anything like a sand and water table or a sandpit/paddling pool? Or just a big plastic box of water with kitchen things in the garden.

Requires more input, but I also found reading a huge pile of books soothing, as long as you choose only the ones that you enjoy reading.

A definite yes to going out for a walk and then water play. It’ll be calming for you and him.

@TheBiscuitStrikesBack

Stick him in the buggy with some snacks and go walking!

This was always my default when I was struggling. It always seemed to help.

Where are you in your cycle? I've always had terrible anxiety in the two weeks post ovulation/pre-period.

I work with that age group and my little ones would like -

Water/sand play

Loose parts - transferring items such as rice/dried beans between things (saucepans, jars etc)

Playing with babies/teddies - setting up a kitchen or baby station? Teddy bears tea party. The children I care for could spend ages pretending to feed teddies!

Nature walk? In a buggy, box on lap and you can collect things along the way to take home to look at?

I hope it gets better for you soon, OP.

Plastic table cloth or mat, bunch of spoons and tupperware and dried rice, oats or lentils. You can sit and mindlessly pour it, and it doesn't matter if they eat a bit. Pour it back into a tub to re-use when you are finished. Easily hooverable mess left at the end. Sometimes I jazz it up with plastic farm animals or cars to drive through it. I find it quite soothing.

I agree with everyone else.

A walk (if you have a duck pond nearby you could stop and feed the ducks).

Water play - either in the bath or outside, whatever is easier. Calming for you and him.

You can also tip dried rice/lentils/pasta into a tray and give him diggers/cups/spoons etc. to play with. I found this quite a soothing activity too, similar to playing with sand, but less mess.

Thank you for these responses. DS is just waking up after a 2 hour nap which I am exceedingly grateful for.

I'm going to head out with him in the pram and then try to keep up outside playing with water etc for as long as possible, then we will see.

Thanks again!

I agree with PP on walks or water play. The other thing mine love is "animals in a tent": gather up all the stuffed animals and dump them in a pop-up tent, little paddling pool or tub with the baby. You can add cushions too, or small blankets

Great ideas abov

Walk if you can. If you can’t - treasure basket? Basically a box with random safe crap in it. Wooden spoon, biscuit cutter, hairbrush …

Oops posted too early....great ideas above. I know you day he doesn't watch TV but have you tried Little Baby Bum or Cocomelon on Netflix? Or Cloudbabies on YouTube? Even my non-tv watchers would spend at least half an hour on that....
You're doing great. Well done for reaching out for advice/help, that's often the hardest bit.