to ask for help with what to do with toddler DS this afternoon (I am close to a panic attack)

[pregnantncnc]

I've struggled with anxiety for over a decade. It has been very well managed for the last few years, but today I feel like I'm absolutely drowning in it. I don't know why (e.g. no accidental caffeine, no alcohol in the last month, no binge of preservative filled food, no major events coming up, house isn't a complete bomb site - my usual triggers). It has been building all week and my usual routines to calm me down haven't worked.

DS is 18 months old. He's napping at the moment but will wake up soon and I have no idea how I am going to get through this afternoon with him while I feel like this. DS is struggling too as I'm not as present as I usually am as I keep zoning out, so he was already getting frustrated and shouty this morning. He isn't the type of toddler to happily watch TV unless he's unwell. We don't know anyone where we live, not well enough that I'd want them to see me like this anyway. My family are over an hour away and DH has the car at work so I can't go to them (and he HAS to work late tonight so won't be back before bedtime). My friends are all at work.

So it is just me and DS.

I need engaging activities for DS that require minimal input from me. Anything. Even obvious things. My brain isn't working right now to think of these things for myself. I just tried googling and everything seemed so complicated. I don't mind making a mess and we have a garden.

Really grateful for any help! Thank you.

Soapy water, pots and pans. He can wash his toys

I hope the walk went well, you're doing a great job! Being stuck home alone with a fractious toddler when you're under the weather is like hell on earth. If your neighbours are out/deaf, I used to get all the pots and pans out on a blanket with lots of wooden spoons for a bit of drumming but this might not be good for you! Good luck, we're all rooting for you 💐

Bucket of water in the garden. Get him to ‘clean’ his toys ( Lego/cars etc)
Outside let him play with or clean the pegs.
Set up some little toys for him to knock over ( bowls)
Get him to dig some holes in the mud for you?
Honestly my kids used to love love LOVE playi with my pegs.

Any crap you've got lying round... Pans, wooden spoons, sponge and bowl of water, stones, chalks whatever. Egg boxes are popular here. Even better if you've outside space.

Strip naked, shove in bath with paint. Let go wild. Then bath with ice lolly to clean them off :)

walking will help you calm down as well, (or not get worse)

buy him some snacks possibly or a new small toy.
other ideas:
high chair with cups and jugs and spoons and scoops and some diluted squash. or cooked pasta shapes.
achalks on the concrete slabs outside?
blanket in the shade with some blocks.
break down the dday into small chunks, you can do this.

Something like Baby Club (on iplayer) would allow you to play/sing along with the tv - he might like that and you won't have to think of songs/games, just do what they do on the TV.

My son likes being sat in the bath with the shower on (put towels on the floor). Put the plug in and let it fill up to a 'proper' bath and add toys etc. You can easily let this one take an hour.

You're doing so well. The fact that you've asked for ideas on here tells me that you have the resources and skill to get through these next few hours. Make sure that once he's asleep tonight you practise the techniques that work for you and make a loose plan for getting any extra help you need to manage this blip. You are doing a good job.

How big is your freezer? For another day , especially if it is warm .Put small plastic toys like farm animals, dinosaurs etc in individual zip lock bags with water and freeze them. You can put a couple of drops of food colouring in too if you want. Or you can freeze a number of things together in a Tupperware box Take them out of the bags/ box have a good look at them then use in sand or water play or on a tray .

Keep food coloured water away from white or pale fabric.

Oh and if you have a pot of bubbles, get them out. It'll help regulate your breathing while ds has fun.

get some blankets and build a tent.

have a bubble bath together.

kiss & hug him lots - cuddles are excellent anxiety busters.

Colour scavenger hunt - dot some different coloured pens on a sheet of paper then send him off round the room to find objects to match each colour.
W
“Wishing bucket” Just stick a plastic bowl of water on a towel in the middle of the room and let him throw pennies in - every time he gets one in he gets to make a wish

Poor you, I get like this and outside is definitely best. Can you go for a long walk to a playground that will keep him contained?

Mother and toddler yoga on youtube is good.

Walk to tesco to buy biscuits and icing, then come home and ice biscuits used to be a good one when mine was that age.

Massive sheet of paper (or pavement chalk outside), draw round him, let him colour himself in with felt tips or paints.

A stomp rocket is excellent for minimal input - just sit there and watch them play with it!

If you feel anxiety rising try this thick - lick your thumb then blow on it, slowly & steadily like you are blowing up a balloon.
repeat as many times as you need.
it's the only thing that got me through to waiting while DD was in surgery a few years back.
it focuses your breathing and will help you be steady.

anxiety is a bitch. I was diagnosed in 2006 after horrendous panic attacks during pg.

also if you feel like you are going to have a panic attack and you can't stop it then just let it happen. sometimes that's the only way, you just have to go through it.
I had a minor meltdown today. couldn't stop it. shit happens.

sending you lots of love x

*trick!!!

not thick🤣

@pregnantncnc

Thank you for these responses. DS is just waking up after a 2 hour nap which I am exceedingly grateful for.

I'm going to head out with him in the pram and then try to keep up outside playing with water etc for as long as possible, then we will see.

Thanks again!

Good for you! Respect.

Long walk - good for your wellbeing too

Water is always a good one. A bag of lentils and a cat litter tray (clean one!!) with some funnels, tubes and pots always kept mine busy. Naked child, paint and large paper in the garden. The local park. Dish soap in water and a straw - you can blow a lot of bubbles!

I second go for a walk either with snacks, or walk somewhere you can get a snack :)

Also, for next time, buy a packet of balloons and the blow a couple up. I have a difficult to entertain toddler and he's entertained for house by a balloon. Also, no mess .

Weird things my daughter liked at that age:

Poking raw spaghetti through the holes in the collinder

Playing with that bag of miscellaneous buttons and beads you find in the back of everyones junk drawer

A tiny amount of washing up liquid in a cup with water, and getting her to blow bubbles with a straw

Chuck a whole box of cheap cereal on the floor. Call it messy play. She used to love pouring it between cups, and rubbing it over with toy cars to hear the crunch

@pregnantncnc

I've struggled with anxiety for over a decade. It has been very well managed for the last few years, but today I feel like I'm absolutely drowning in it. I don't know why (e.g. no accidental caffeine, no alcohol in the last month, no binge of preservative filled food, no major events coming up, house isn't a complete bomb site - my usual triggers). It has been building all week and my usual routines to calm me down haven't worked.

DS is 18 months old. He's napping at the moment but will wake up soon and I have no idea how I am going to get through this afternoon with him while I feel like this. DS is struggling too as I'm not as present as I usually am as I keep zoning out, so he was already getting frustrated and shouty this morning. He isn't the type of toddler to happily watch TV unless he's unwell. We don't know anyone where we live, not well enough that I'd want them to see me like this anyway. My family are over an hour away and DH has the car at work so I can't go to them (and he HAS to work late tonight so won't be back before bedtime). My friends are all at work.

So it is just me and DS.

I need engaging activities for DS that require minimal input from me. Anything. Even obvious things. My brain isn't working right now to think of these things for myself. I just tried googling and everything seemed so complicated. I don't mind making a mess and we have a garden.

Really grateful for any help! Thank you.

Cotton balls. Paint. Paper!!! Stick him in the garden. Or kitchen. Off you go. Crafts is always a good one. Pritt stick. Bits of paper. Kid friendly scissors.

I spent all afternoon doing these kids of things as kids. Or fill up a bubbly bath. Or the sink bowl. Let him go wild.

A bowl of water (outside if possible) with a few bowls and spoons will keep any toddler happy for a long time. Put him in the bath with lots of bubbles and water toys....same effect. They just lose themselves in it. A sandpit is a good alternative.

I hear you OP. My DD is 19 months and gets so frustrated and shouty, things that entertain her a lot with minimum effort are:

• going to the park (we do play equipment and she likes to just run around on the grass)
• colouring with felt tips on a massive paper pad (crayola do a set of "my first pens") or finger painting. Aquadoodles are also good
• painting the garden fence with water
• messy play with cheap cereal/water/shredded paper in a washing up bowl
• emptying bags/boxes, just put random crap in them and its endless fun
• going out for a walk and feeding the ducks
• garden time - I recently bought her a playhouse and got a free cozy coupe off facebook (loads of them on there!). Two of the best things I've ever got her hands down, she can play with them for hours

When I’m having a hard day with 17 month old DD - a tub of rice, with some toys and some kitchen utensils like big spoon, funnel, sieve keep her occupied for about 20 mins for me to just sit and try to calm.