To go on holiday without DH

[DancingQueen2018]

Just that really. I’m self employed so take the whole summer off to cover holidays so he doesn’t have to, other than our 2 week family holiday which we usually go and visit his family (clearly not this year), but we do have 10 days away in the UK.

Our school is finishing early so I have booked a bargain break away with a friend and her children for a mon-fri I absolutely knew he can’t take this week off as he is very busy in July.

He thinks this is totally wrong and there’s no way I should be going. I’ve acknowledged he’s clearly upset but won’t apologise or back down because I genuinely don’t see I’m doing anything wrong here. AIBU to go away without him?

YANBU to go away.
YABU to leave him labelled meals.

YANBU

My husband is moaning so much about my four day trip away from his this weekend that I'm counting down the hours!

I'm going to pick dinner by myself, sing LOUD in the car, and starfish in the bed. Can't wait

(To those who like to be attached at the hip - it's fine we love each other and just had a lovely holiday together. Enjoying being alone doesn't mean you love your family less. It just lessens the patio-burying fantasies!)

If you told him beforehand then he’s being ridiculous. It’s fine, go and enjoy yourself!

thecat why is your DH moaning about your trip? My DH happily drives me to the airport at 2am when I am off for a week with a friend .

That sounds absolutely fine, though I would have discussed it with him before booking (rather than expressing asking his permission). It's just a nice thing to do.

I go on holiday all the time without dh. Usually take 1-2 holidays a year and leave him and dc at home. But also have taken dc away in the UK and abroad plenty of times without him (he also taken them away independently too though doesn't like to travel as much as I do, so it's mostly camping). We're going away for 5 days next month without him as we already have 10 days of a family holiday at the start of August, but youngest's nursery is closed for the week and I have loads of AL to use up.

Please don't do the ridiculous labelled meals thing. He must feel like a toddler, no wonder he can't cope with being left home alone. My mum does the same thing for my stepdad. He is a grown man, very big job, but wfh 100% of the time and always has. He has loads of free time, goes swimming and running every day. Watches tv. Perfectly capable. She pre-packs individual salads for him, pre-baked jacket potatoes, and even orders his favourite takeaway and then separates it out into individual meals. They have a really twisted and manipulative relationship. Don't be like that, it's really not healthy. A grown up with no children to look after can make their own meals.

I'd have discussed my plans first but I can't see what the problem is with these plans.

It seems like a good idea to me. I'd enjoy the peace and quiet and the freedom to do what I wanted at the end of each day, if I was the one not going away.

I also absolutely wouldn't do labelled meals.

Labelled meals??? Is he some how unable to cook for himself?

Of course yanbu

Surely taking the kids away so he can concentrate on work is being kind to him?

God he sounds a bit pathetic. Me and my DP both have regular holidays without each other. Very healthy. He can look after himself FFS he's an adult. Can't bare how some men claim to be so utterly helpless. So unattractive.

I'd label his meals in the fridge.

Put stickers on things:

Potatoes

Carrots

Cheese

Butter

Tomatoes

Bread

Crisps

Milk

I'm sure he can work it out from there.

He's being a baby.

He has to work, why shouldn't you be able to do something fun?

And I wouldn't be cooking him meals unless he's working long or intense shifts

YANBU DP is joining the DC and me for the last bit of our holiday as he's working the rest of the time. I think he's looking forward to having evenings to himself after work and eating a bunch of meat (I'm pescatarian). Why would anyone begrudge their children a holiday? What is he missing out on if he doesn't do much with your children anyway?

YABU to actually pre-make and label all your DH's meals though! DP usually cooks but even I can manage to feed myself (and the DC) if he is away!

Of course YANBU, DH and I regularly do this and the person left at home enjoys the peace!

Id be busy planning another break from a twit like that.

He's being ridiculous, of course you should go!

My late DH had to take early retirement on ill health grounds while I was still working. He took the opportunity to take each of our (late teens) daughters on holidays during that period. I thought it was a great idea, and absolutely encouraged it.

Is he always such a fanny?

I do not think there is a right or wrong here.
Different couples will have different thoughts. Totally fine. YABU to not check the idea out with him. You are a family and surely out of respect you discuss these things.

I do also have to leave him labelled meals in the fridge to heat up.

I'd rather be divorced than with a man who wanted or worse, expected this. Plus the whining. Yuk.

@Mrstamborineman

I do not think there is a right or wrong here. Different couples will have different thoughts. Totally fine. YABU to not check the idea out with him. You are a family and surely out of respect you discuss these things.

Have you read the thread? She did!

You anbu go and have a lovely holiday with your kids and friend!

I don't think you are wrong and you ran it by him before booking. That was the time for any objections.

However some partners aren't happy about their husband or wife, plus children, going away without them. They feel lost and lonely. Not all feelings are rational.

It's only for a week, DancingQueen. He'll be OK, it will fly by.

Unless the labels say "cook your own food you lazy git", YABVU.

Labelled meals?

@Oblomov21

Labelled meals?

My meals come labelled.

"Tesco's Finest Fish Cakes" and so on.