DS has over 100k followers on tiktok

[Peachen]

Name changed for this as my friend knows my username.

DS is 15, my ex sent me a message last night telling me his DD found DS’ tiktok account and he's got over 100k followers. I has a look and it's about 117k . I knew he had tiktok but he said his account was private and only his friends followed him which isn't true! There's lots of girls putting heart eye emojis in the comments of his posts and one comment I've seen is inappropriate! A woman commented ‘i hope you're 18+’ he replied back that he's 15 and she replied ‘thats a shame, I'm 19’.

I'm not sure what to do about this, I've not spoken to DS yet. I'm also annoyed that he lied about his account being on private but I'm also uncomfortable at the comments!

Check as well if he's in the tiktok creator's fund, if he is, is he earning from it?

I'd be concerned about the content - not just whether he is posting anything inappropriate although obviously that's a big concern but also if he is making it too obvious where he lives, hangs out in local area etc.

Most people on social media have no idea about personal safety and the fact it isn't sensible to tell 1000s of randomers on the internet where you live! There's a fairly well know Tiktok-er who lives locally to me, has basically done everything bar posting their actual address to show where they live, then moans that people know where they live and keep harassing them!

I won't pretend to be an expert on earning from social media but the comments suggesting that just because he had 100k+ followers he must be, or should be, raking it in shows how little knowledge a lot of people have on mumsnet.

1. 100K+ followers might sound like a lot, but it really isn't that many in the grand scheme of things

1. TikTok isn't a great platform to earn money on, so he would need to be doing supplementary work like ads on instagram or YouTube work to actually make a lot

1. follower count is not that releavnt when it comes to earning potential. Conversion rate and engagement are actually what matters, without that information it's impossible to comment on if someone should be earning £££. Someone with 20k followers, but consistently getting 17k+ views, lot's of comments, and sharing is going to look a lot better for monetising than 100k followers, getting 9k views and little engagement.

So what sort of things is he doing to warrant such a high number of followers?

It doesn't take much to gain that many followers on Tiktok.

Though there will be people interested in him specifically because of his age, so he should be made aware of that.

He also has his Instagram linked and he's got about 5k followers on that although that is private.

His tiktoks are mainly made in his bedroom so he doesnt make it obvious as to where we live. I'll speak to him later.

@YeokensYegg

I'm a bit surprised at you having no idea what is going on in your son's life.

Did your parents know everything you did when you were 15?

😂 I have 20 followers and have never even posted a video, it is extremely easy to gain followers on tik tok.... However there are definitely more than a few nasty individuals on there (not surprising given how huge it is) and so I would be wanting to keep a close eye on his account if I were you. If you didn't want him knowing your keeping an eye you could make a profile and follow him yourself? Just use it to monitor that and see what he's posting/what others are commenting then say something if needs be.

What is AIBU about this?

Leave him to get on with it

@lactofree

What is AIBU about this?

Leave him to get on with it

You've never dealt with the aftermath of children selling videos and images on these platforms, then?

Those in school safeguarding probably have war stories. I've recently seen a friend go through it, her daughter selling video access. Nightmare, really. Police involved, the school, the girl is pretty shaken and seeing a counsellor, she's opening up to her mum a bit now. And yes, boys get involved in selling such material also.

I mean, sure if you let your kids "just get on with it", that's your call, but some parents actually care.

@Peachen You are worrying for nothing. It's not uncommon for people on tiktok to have 100,000 followers. I know some people (personally) who have 3-4 times more than this.

Also, no he would not be making any money from it. Only users with 2.5 million or more followers would be starting to make any money. You have to have 'sponsors' and only around 5% of the users on tiktok have that privilege.

I'd say it's better to support him rather than be against something that can be harmless fun if managed properly. Look into being safe online as a content creator, making sure he doesn't post anything he might come to regret, be aware what you post may always be out there and future employers or friends might see it, don't post details that give away too closely where he lives or anything and be aware of how to deal with internet bullies and trolls who can be nasty and vindictive.

Take the account down and take some responsibility ffs.

Get a grip 😂 he's a fifteen year old kid on TikTok, there's nothing to be outraged about.

You can buy followers, OP! I'd check this isn't the case as he might be wasting lots of money (no idea how much it costs though).

@Schrutesbeets

You can buy followers, OP! I'd check this isn't the case as he might be wasting lots of money (no idea how much it costs though).

lots of people saying this, but providing he is using his own money then I don't see the issue. Teenagers waste money sometimes, it's their problem, and it's a learning experience. If in a weeks time he doesn't have enough money to buy a game he wants for his PS, then tough luck.

I wouldnt be happy if this was my DS.

DDs friend had a tiktok account last year during lockdown and he was still posting until about April, when he deleted all of his videos and quit because of all the hate and he's now not confident at all. He had about 50k I think.

I'm a bit amazed at some of the comments about monetising it. Also slightly depressed that this is the future but thats my age. I used to be a youth worker and the advice was always to treat it the same as you would interaction in an offline space with regards to safety.

Is he doing anything unsafe, is he protected. Totally ok to monitor, he's still 15. Also have a conversation about purpose of using it and potential negatives of tik tok. Thinking critically about social media is something all people should be aware of.

My dd1 ended up with over 85,000 followers on TikTok after posting just one thing (cooking something) so over 100k wouldn't be all that unusual. These things can tend to snowball unexpectedly.

I'd keep an eye on things though as he's only 15, and I'd check who he is following too.

@Crowtooyo

He'll be earning a fair amount I should think..

Nope, you’re talking maybe £50 a week tops and that’s only if he has high engagement. My daughter has 250k+ followers and decent engagement she earns between £70-100 a week

@HollowTalk

So what sort of things is he doing to warrant such a high number of followers?

My daughters initial viral post was literally her and her girlfriend dancing in a field. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Since then they have a decent following but viral posts can blow up out of nowhere.

I spoke to DS and he told me that his friend told him to make his account public at the start of the first lockdown so he did and he posted occasionally but then one of them went viral and he got to about 2k. He also said that when he went back to school school in September, he became popular but then people treated him normally but people in the years below find it cool.

Glad you were able to speak about it with him OP. It would appear he's enjoying his 5 minutes of fame.

Personally I'd just follow him now you know it's there and keep an eye on things.

A scary thought but in a year's time he will be of the legal age of consent and then 2 years after that a young adult.

You have bigger battles and worries to come than a tik tok account sadly.

Swings and roundabouts OP. You are doing well and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

5k followers on Instagram is not private in any meaningful way surely? He must be accepting more than just friends of friends?
I think pps who have warned of loss of confidence and risk of being asked for videos have very valid points. Your conversations over the next few weeks need to attend to how not to get caught up in being popular and how to learn to find your own offline identity as an adolescent.

Thank you, tiktok wasn't a thing when my other DCs were teenagers!

DS did say my DD knows and follows him as my granddaughter wanted to do a tiktok dance with him.

He also said hate comments don't bother him as sometimes people call him gay if he posts himself dancing but he finds it funny as dancing doesn't make him gay.

I will keep an eye on it though.