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AIBU?

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Original poster

DS has over 100k followers on tiktok

80 replies

Peachen · 14/07/2021 10:38

Name changed for this as my friend knows my username.

DS is 15, my ex sent me a message last night telling me his DD found DS’ tiktok account and he's got over 100k followers. I has a look and it's about 117k Shock. I knew he had tiktok but he said his account was private and only his friends followed him which isn't true! There's lots of girls putting heart eye emojis in the comments of his posts and one comment I've seen is inappropriate! A woman commented ‘i hope you're 18+’ he replied back that he's 15 and she replied ‘thats a shame, I'm 19’.

I'm not sure what to do about this, I've not spoken to DS yet. I'm also annoyed that he lied about his account being on private but I'm also uncomfortable at the comments!

OP posts:
Oblomov21 · 14/07/2021 11:50

All these people who think he's earning money from it? Hmm
50+ of Ds1's friends have 100k+ followers and none of them earn a penny.

Howcanthisbe123 · 14/07/2021 11:51

If his content is not illegal in any way or doing things his underage for you seriously need to sit down and work out how you can make money from it, he could be richer than you by 18!

Lots of money to be had with a vast following!

Cooldryplace · 14/07/2021 11:53

@YeokensYegg

I'm a bit surprised at you having no idea what is going on in your son's life.
Hahahahaha

As a professional working with teens I assure you very few parents know everything that goes on their their teens' life.

As a parent to teens I know it's best that I don't. By this age you've helped build their moral compass and you have to trust them to use it, being there when they need support.

LuxOlente · 14/07/2021 11:56

@wedswench

That's money making territory! I hope he's capitalising!

Plenty of young people do this. He should have told you so you could monitor and now you know you can get involved

You don't really know much about social media if you think a kid has that many followers from doing cute, wholesome fun content.
fan90 · 14/07/2021 11:56

DD has friends who have HUGE followings on tiktok, and they're normal average teenagers who make no money out of it. Some posters here are crazy, there's no need to start looking at condos in Malibu yet.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 14/07/2021 11:58

It's easy to get that amount of followers on TikTok and he really won't be earning that much on it if anything. I think you need to sit down and have a chat with him because you agreed to it if it was private, which it obviously isn't

LuxOlente · 14/07/2021 11:59

@Howcanthisbe123

If his content is not illegal in any way or doing things his underage for you seriously need to sit down and work out how you can make money from it, he could be richer than you by 18!

Lots of money to be had with a vast following!

The technical knowledge on display here is not great, is it? Do you all know how capitalising on an online prescence even works? You don't just get paid for followers. You also don't get 100k followers by "doing lip sync videos with friends."

The most innocent version is that he bought the followers from a bot farm. Not particularly likely if he's putting no effort into content. More likely he IS putting effort into content, it's unlikely to be legal, and people are too busy squeaking "oh but I thought I kept an eye on him" and "lolz make money hun!" to consider it.

Crowtooyo · 14/07/2021 12:02

If he does lives then yes he will be making money from it because fans gift coins or whatever to them and they turn in to money.
Honestly, people are obsessed with watching people live, they don't even have to be doing anything interesting. Anything social media wise with a big following like that will be earning money. And I think those who believe they don't, are naive. Sorry!

Horst · 14/07/2021 12:07

It’s pretty easy to get followers on tik tok. I have quite a few and I’ve never posted on it.

My ds has tik tok and has around 50-60k followers he posts genuinely shite just black screen with music or text on screens. Never shown his face or even spoken in his vids. I know because he comes and proudly shows us that his gained an extra 3k followers from this lamo video 🤦🏻‍♀️

Sentry70 · 14/07/2021 12:07

I'm a bit surprised at you having no idea what is going on in your son's life. - how does a snide comment like this help? What have you actually brought to the table by saying this other than implied criticism of the OPs parenting?

NoProblem123 · 14/07/2021 12:10

‘Condo in Malibu’
😂😂😂

MondayYogurt · 14/07/2021 12:11

Hard agree with @LuxOlente here.
The trouble with social media algorithms is you have to feed them the content they want. Tiktok is even able to identify the creator's ethnicity and boost their stats accordingly.

Every like/fave/star/heart/upvote is a dopamine hit - and teenage brains are especially prone to being rewired to need this feel-good sensation.

Strongly suggest you read up on this subject and take an interest in your son's phone.

Because it's not just a phone - it's countless millions of other people's voices and motivations dictating how he behaves.

PollyPepper · 14/07/2021 12:13

@Peachen

No, he's not posting anything inappropriate. I told him he could only have TikTok if his account was on private and people he knew followed him, and I spoke to him about internet safety (think he was 13 at the Time).
13??!!! He's not stuck to the original agreement. It's clearly not safe, and if it was a male asking a 15 year old female what you've said im sure we'd feel very different. Take the account down and take some responsibility ffs.
wedswench · 14/07/2021 12:14

I was thinking in Instagram terms to be honest as 117k followers on there can earn you money.. didn't realise TikTok was different.

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 14/07/2021 12:16

I wouldn't be worried about DD 13 doing this, because I know she'd be far too sensible to do anything illegal or dangerous. She has a YouTube channel.

SixesAndEights · 14/07/2021 12:16

You made the original agreement when he was 13, he's now 15, so there's a big difference.

I agree with the posters who say to go gently and not start by telling him off. Guidance, someone said.

Maggiesfarm · 14/07/2021 12:19

It sounds OK to me, as far as it goes at the moment. The 19 year old girl was just flirting and he told her he was 15.

Keep an eye out but there doesn't seem to be a problem right now.

DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 14/07/2021 12:20

You don't really know much about social media if you think a kid has that many followers from doing cute, wholesome fun content.

Dd and I share an Instagram account and she follows Finnish hobbyhorsers, mainly teenagers; many of them have 50/60k followers, all they are doing is sewing hobbyhorses and trotting about in forests.

ViceLikeBlip · 14/07/2021 12:21

Don't forget it could be the other way round- rather than earning money, he could have paid out to buy a good chunk of those followers.

GlutenFreeGingerCake · 14/07/2021 12:25

I agree tiktok is not like Instagram or YouTube , it's much easier to gain followers and the amount of money earned for posts is very low. Even posts with millions of views are earning about £30. Of course you may be worried about privacy and things but don't worry he has loads of secret money he is spending illegally.

cleckheatonwanderer · 14/07/2021 12:25

@YeokensYegg

I'm a bit surprised at you having no idea what is going on in your son's life.
Really? It's standard teenager behaviour to keep things from your parents surely? I did it as I'm sure many others on this thread did too.
LarsErickssong · 14/07/2021 12:31

@LuxOlente do you use TikTok? It really is that easy to have that many followers from doing lip sync videos. All you need is one funny/good video and you can easily gain 100k followers in a day.

sashagabadon · 14/07/2021 12:32

I think a lot of teens have this number of followers on tiktok. I think my daughter has a similar amount - from what my son has said to me.
I understand the worry.
I actually think tiktok is becoming very political (similar to how twitter has and instagram too) and is very unsuitable for young people who don't do nuance. It whips up stuff and spreads like wildfire.
Yes lots of it is lip syncing dancing and quite funny, but the dark side is lurking there.

sadie9 · 14/07/2021 12:35

Forget about earning money from it. He's only 15 and that may well be the wrong path to send him down.
You could just open the conversation by saying something like, "someone on the radio was saying their daughter has 50k followers now on Tiktok, how many do you have now...would people get that many.. or how does it work normally? This woman was saying she wasn't sure if older people were commenting on her daughter's account"
Something like that. So bring up the subject and see what he says, but make it different to his situation and almost like you are asking his advice about it. He may well be quite open about it.
Accusations will shut down the channel of communciation.
So far it sounds like he hasn't done anything wrong, it's just that you are unaware of the culture of the thing. And worried about adults influencing him. Our teens are pretty savvy. He's 15. If he was 13 I'd be more worried.

nocturnalcatfreetogoodhome · 14/07/2021 12:36

@GoWalkabout

You need to get alongside him. Say hey I didn't know you were so big on tiktok, how are you getting on with all that fame? Find out how he handles tricky situations or inappropriate comments. Remember he is an emerging adult. Guide and counsel, don't dictate.
1000% this.

He's fifteen, not eleven. He's a big boy. Unfortunately 'blowing up' on Tiktok is not uncommon for teenagers so I imagine even if you make him delete this profile, he will set up a new one and do it again.

This account is most likely his pride and joy and is their equivalent of what was our MSN.

Mention it casually over dinner - 'oh DS, I forgot to say XY mentioned they saw you on tiktok and I had a look, hope you don't mind, wow I didn't realise you were doing so well! What does everyone at school think?'

Hopefully he's open to discussing it if he's being slathered with praise. He will not respond to criticism so if you open the conversation 'I TOLD YOU IT HAD TO BE PRIVATE....' he will go to further lengths to hide it from you.