Cooking Dinner for DH!

[whychangethehabitofalifetime]

DH has started his long awaited sports training again tonight he's not been for 18m.

Disclaimer: We have no big red flags, he's not an abuser, we've been together well over a decade and he is (usually!) a good man. This is a bit lightheaded but it also has annoyed me a bit.

I'm a sahm so I do most of the cooking (fine). Our children are preschool/just older so eat at 5pm and we usually eat when they're in bed about 7:30.

So I've already cooked the children's dinner, and will be cooking mine when children are asleep. He doesn't like what I've got. I do not mind chucking DH in a quick freezer dinner or bowl of soup if he rings me on the way home from training but tonight he actually expected me to cook him a proper dinner when he rings me at 9:30 (when I'm likely to be getting ready for bed!) to say he's on his way back!

I have some fresh spicy breaded chicken and I was going to do him that with some oven chips and beans. He said 'oh the chicken sounds nice but could I have it with some roasted mini potatoes and roasted Mediterranean veg?'

Erm, no! And he had a mild/medium sulk when I said no, either you have a quick oven/microwave dinner after training when it's late and I've already cooked or you sort your bloody self out!

YABU: You're a horrible wife, feed your man what he wants, the poor lamb
YANBU: You're not a chef and he is an entitled man child trying his luck!

Forgot to say YANBU for mot cooking an extra meal at half nine.

@Tlollj you don't want to spoil him.

Ha!

In this house you can eat what I’m cooking at the time I’m cooking it, have it heated up later, or get your own when it suits you.

Roasted mini potatoes and Mediterranean veg! Cheek.

Haha I'd have told him to stop at the Chinese. Actually I wouldn't have had to, DH knows better than to expect me to cook at night!

Fuck that shit OP. Watch him ffs, before long you will be ironing his pants and freshening up your make up before he comes home.

Dinner ding or make your own fucking tea in this house if you don't eat at the same time as everyone else.

Erm, no! And he had a mild/medium sulk when I said no, either you have a quick oven/microwave dinner after training when it's late and I've already cooked or you sort your bloody self out!

Oooo, you do well to nip this in the bud OP. As with toddlers and puppies, you do have to reinforce the training regularly 😏

Mine would tell me not to bother he would cook his own!!

Can you just all eat the same food? You can eat with your children and he can eat leftovers when he gets back.

He sounds like my ds who's 25.
Sod that. Maccy D's it is 😂

I wouldn’t mind doing it. Parboiling some potatoes and roasting with some veg is easy.

My DH does a lot for me too. If I need or want something, he will really try to do it. And he brings me tea in bed every morning.

It just depends on your relationship

@speakout

Can you just all eat the same food? You can eat with your children and he can eat leftovers when he gets back.

Nah I can't be eating with the children at 5pm I'd be at the biscuits all night if I did that it's far too early for me. Half the week the children have the leftovers from our dinner the night before if it's something they like or vice versa (fussy 3 year old is a pain with food atm and older child has sensory food issues due to ASD so they can be tricky). I cook for them separately half the time and that's fine I don't mind that. If they have something like a bolognese then they get theirs at 5 and I just cook us fresh pasta later to have with the meat.

I also don't mind generally me cooking for us when they're in bed as he's working but hell no am I then cooking again later in the evening. Sticking the oven on with a tray in it to be nice, ok but a proper 'cooked' meal? Nope nope nope.

Did he know you had potatoes and certain vegetables in the fridge, OP?

I don’t know, maybe he was very hungry? It is a pain though. My DH is also not the type I can just give oven chips / processed food to without “the look.” It very tricky when you don’t even know what time they are coming home.

Yanbu I wouldn't be cooking late at night either

@Zlk02

Did he know you had potatoes and certain vegetables in the fridge, OP?

I don’t know, maybe he was very hungry? It is a pain though. My DH is also not the type I can just give oven chips / processed food to without “the look.” It very tricky when you don’t even know what time they are coming home.

Have you tried giving him nothing instead?

YANBU at all!!
But I couldn’t deal with cooking twice let alone 3 times!! Are there any meals you can cook for all of you but serve the kids dishes at 5 and then re-heat yours and DHs at 7:30?

YANBU

If I was on call for work in the evening my partner would make a 2 person meal and save me a portion to microwave. If one of us is out having fun then we sort ourselves, unless we get lucky and find leftovers.

You’re not his personal chef. I think it’s kind of you to bother to make him anything at 9:30, you can’t be cooking 3 evening meals every night, you’ll go mad

Dh eats really late and either gets a plate he can reheat or cooks for himself. YANBU. I wouldn’t be doing this either.

“He doesn't like what I've got”

Tough. He eats what’s been planned or he sorts himself out. You’re not a restaurant. My DH occasionally does a sport, he just eats what I’ve plated up for him afterwards.

Similar situation here, young kids, I'm a sahm. If there's a night where I'm not going to be at home for whatever reason I'll sort out the kids, if it's something DH likes I'll leave him some or else he'll sort himself out. In the situation you outlined the absolute most my DH would expect from me would be to throw a frozen pizza in the oven. If he suggested fresh potatoes and roasted veg at that hour of the evening I'd totally presume he was joking.

I always served 'eat it or don't. I really don't care. You're a grown arsed person'.

I just read this to my DH and I’ve never seen his eyebrow arch so high. I thought it would permanently raise his hairline. YADNBU.

@thistimelastweek

Hard-working husbands coming home late should always be given a choice of dinner.

Salt and Vinegar or Ready Salted.

@Zlk02 “ My DH is also not the type I can just give oven chips / processed food to without “the look.” It very tricky when you don’t even know what time they are coming home.”

I hope ‘the look’ is a look of love and gratitude or else he’d be getting some oven chips up the arse for dinner

I'd tell him the kitchen closes at 8, so he needs to call in the chip shop on his way home.

Be careful. He seems to have started thinking you are his mother. Well done for nipping that in the bud.