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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not get teachers presents?

95 replies

Lemonnhoney · 13/07/2021 08:19

My son is leaving his nursery/pre school and I just wondered is it fine not to get the teachers anything?

I’m more thinking going forward too into school…

I appreciated them all lot but he was only there September-July and I just think I’d rather get no present than a bad one…. And I think other parents will be getting them things anyway?

I had an aunty who was a teacher and recall her showing me all the terrible tat she got..

Or am i BU and get them a box of chocolates or something?

OP posts:

Imnothereforthedrama · 14/07/2021 18:40

If you don’t want to give gifts don’t give them . I only do at Christmas. I don’t do it at the end of term because I do it at Christmas and my son is sen so has the same teacher so if changed got something to say thanks but then something small . I also don’t at the end of the term because more than 1 TA too so if I can’t do them all then not at all .

MaudebeGonne · 14/07/2021 18:47

Sometimes I get presents, sometimes I don’t. One of the children in my 9 year old daughters class gave the teacher a big red stapler with her name on it as the class stapler broke at the start of the year. My daughter said the teacher didn’t stop smiling all day.

KatherineOfGaunt · 14/07/2021 18:48

A thank you card with a nice message is really appreciated. As a teacher, I don't see presents as necessary. (Although appreciated when given, of course!)

Jammysod · 14/07/2021 18:52

I wouldn't usually, but DS teacher has taught him for 2 years & been bloody amazing through lockdown (door step visits on her lunch & brought him a present when he we were really struggling).
It's a school year planner/diary from a company she really likes so hoping it will be useful!

UndertheCedartree · 14/07/2021 18:56

It's entirely up to you. I used to buy a variety of chocolate boxes when my DD was at nursery so each teacher could pick one. I usually get something small that we have found out the teacher liked and my daughter makes a card and writes things she enjoyed in it. Her teacher this year likes stationery so we have got some pens, a notebook and some whiteboard markers in different colours so hopefully all useful.

PippaPots · 14/07/2021 19:03

Only one year I refused to buy a teacher an end of year gift. Dd1 had an abysmal one for yr5. She never managed to get DDs name right, she kept muddling her and another girl up (completely different names and looked nothing alike). DD went from being securely in top groups all the way through other years to bottom in this one class. Her report was obviously based on someone else. (for Yr 6 she was suddenly bounced back up to top groups) it was a waste of a year.
For every other year both DDs went with wine for their teacher and ta.

DS likes cacti, so every year he chooses a cactus at the local garden centre. His 1-1 has mentioned to him she likes Love Island, so we have got one of the named water bottles with Mrs O### on. He is really looking forward to giving her it.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 14/07/2021 19:25

We always did gifts and cards. The teachers always went above and beyond their job spec and were an important part of my DCs daily life.

People tip hairdressers, waiters, cab drivers etc who all get a salary.

Fangsalot89 · 14/07/2021 19:31

Getting or not getting a present is entirely your individual choice and you shouldn’t feel pressured into doing it should you not want to but I hate when people say “I’m not doing it because it’s their job.”
That sort of mentality is part of what’s wrong with the world and usually said by people who a) are irritated they don’t get recognised in their job and b) go around being obnoxiously rude and using the excuse of “I’m just an honest person.”

woodfort · 14/07/2021 19:40

I do find all the “best teacher” crap in the supermarkets - teddy bears and mugs and stuff - so weird, why would anyone want that? At least chocolates or wine could be regifted if the teacher doesn’t want it.
We do a class wide collection and give a voucher from us all, which I assume the teachers like (I mean, not really much not to like).. much easier.

Alleycat02 · 14/07/2021 20:18

Not sure about getting presents this year..... Mainly cost-related as I now have two children in school and a toddler who attends two daycare settings..... My eldest might be persuaded to make a personalised card for his teacher as he is a compulsive draw-er, but my middle child has had no fewer than 4 teachers this year for various reasons so I don't feel too happy about praising them for going above and beyond when he's only had any of them for a couple of days a week over a few weeks / months!

99squirrels · 14/07/2021 21:40

Many of the primary children I taught liked to give mugs, teddies, key rings etc as presents. I kept most of them and have nice memories of those children. I know the parents didn't always have much money so they were very kind and it genuinely did seem to make the children happy. Maybe I'm really sentimental .
I'd previously taught in secondary where you typically get nothing.

Shelovesamystery · 14/07/2021 21:59

I give a £10 voucher for boots or m&s, a card with a message of thanks from me and encourage dc to make a card. This year I've put £20 on one teachers voucher because she has been amazing and dd absolutely adores her. I wouldn't buy any of the card factory tat because I'd hate to get it myself. Voucher or just a card imo, I won't waste my money on tat.

Snoopsnoggysnog · 14/07/2021 22:09

We have a class collection but I get the DC to write cards to most of their teachers and get a small box of nice biscuits from Waitrose or similar - £2/3. It does add up if there are lots of teachers.

ChocOrange1 · 14/07/2021 22:15

My daughter is leaving preschool this year and I haven't got anything for the staff but I bought something for the preschool itself (books) because its a charity and that will benefit the kids.

I would rather give gifts to people who help on a voluntary basis - the Brownie leader, the cricket coach, the chair of the PTA, the ladies who run the church toddler group etc. They don't get paid for their time.

katienana · 14/07/2021 22:18

My kids school has poverty proofing so no kid or patent gets made to feel shit about not having something including a present for the teacher. It is liberating! I do cards instead and take them in myself so it's not done in front of other children.

Rabbitheadlights · 14/07/2021 22:32

Not RTFT and I will start by saying I don't teach, nor do I know or am related to any teachers personally.

I always buy teachers and TAs a gift and a card but THIS YEAR more than any other ....

These teachers who subscribed to teach our children are wonderful, caring, selfless people. They stood often in a class of 30+ students, no masks, little hope of proper hand sanitising, with little or poor ventilation and no hope of social distancing.
They taught zoom lessons online, whilst looking after keyworker children, answered emails and phone calls on their own time, gave up lunch breaks and tea breaks, and ultimately some gave their lives. So NO i don't think a nice bottle of wine and a box of chocolates is a lot to ask at all (although they don't and never would ask) I have 7 DC, 5 of whom are school age and I will always make sure their teachers feel appreciated, I hope.

WineIsMyMainVice · 14/07/2021 22:34

At our school usually someone does a class collection and it works really well. This year the teacher had a £100 voucher and a bottle of wine and the teaching assistants got £50 and wine also. Then you could obviously send a personal card if you wanted to…. It seems to work well.

Darkstar4855 · 14/07/2021 22:37

I think a thank you card is nice, if nothing else. I gave the nursery staff some money last year to put towards a meal or treats for the staff room but that was because they went above and beyond during the pandemic trying to accommodate my son so I could keep working.

MondeoFan · 14/07/2021 22:45

My DD is year 1. One of the mums has a WhatsApp group arranging a collection for the teacher. Thought I might stick a £5 in but no suggested donation was £20 as present for teacher plus 2 TA's.
If you have 2 children at the school that's £40.

EmeraldShamrock · 14/07/2021 22:51

For nursery crèche I gave chocolates and a selection of tea for their break.
In primary I give the local coffee shop vouchers my DC teachers don't expect it they really deserve it.
If they'd a mean teacher or it would bankrupt me I wouldn't feel bad not buying.

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