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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not get teachers presents?

95 replies

Lemonnhoney · 13/07/2021 08:19

My son is leaving his nursery/pre school and I just wondered is it fine not to get the teachers anything?

I’m more thinking going forward too into school…

I appreciated them all lot but he was only there September-July and I just think I’d rather get no present than a bad one…. And I think other parents will be getting them things anyway?

I had an aunty who was a teacher and recall her showing me all the terrible tat she got..

Or am i BU and get them a box of chocolates or something?

OP posts:

Chachachawoo · 13/07/2021 12:10

You know what they say about misery @Wrotten

I think I have lost patience with not especially good teachers and the lack lustre experience my kids have had over the years

Cooldryplace · 13/07/2021 12:16

My mum was a teacher and always refused to let us take presents for teacher. I never really understood what her objection was, maybe a mixture of thinking it was unnecessary and knowing that they all end up with too may trinkets and boxes of chocolate. She is notoriously thrifty but also generous, so I don't think it was that.

However, I hated being the "only" child in class who didn't take anything, so I did always give my DC a small token to take, more for their benefit than for the teacher. Often handcream

FunMcCool · 13/07/2021 12:17

I give my kids key nursey worker £100 at the end of each academic year. They wipe my kids bums for a year and genuinely try to
Make nursery a fun and loving environment for my children. They get a gift! When my child goes to school (September) I will chip
In for the class gift (probs about £20)

Whiskyinajar · 13/07/2021 12:18

My son's t archer has been with him for two years, he's 18 now and autistic. I'm heartbroken he won't have her next year and I will write her a letter and send in a Costa coffee card so she can buy a nice coffee or two in the holidays.

MrsTophamHat · 13/07/2021 12:21

As a teacher myself, if you really wanted to express thanks, a personal note in a card or even an email would be more touching than a Forever Friends mug or a box of Celebrations.

I don't know why or when presents for teachers became a Thing. Driven by retailers I expect.

ConsuelaHammock · 13/07/2021 12:33

I have always bought my children’s teachers a present at the end of the year. It’s nice to be nice.

NVision · 13/07/2021 12:34

YANBU, personal choice and staff are not entitled to gifts

tigger1001 · 13/07/2021 12:41

My youngest has just finished primary school and I never bought the teachers a gift. I did send a hand written card with examples of how they made a difference to my child and thanking them.

Topseyt · 13/07/2021 12:48

I never bought teachers gifts. A card with a nicely written message in it if the kids wanted to do that was fine.

LincolnshireYellowBelly · 13/07/2021 12:50

You are not being unreasonable at all, as teachers do not expect any gifts.

However, for those people who say that they are just doing their job, and they are paid to do what they do, please remember all of the extra hours that teachers put in, and also the amount of teachers who buy resources and never claim back.

Teachers don’t expect gifts, however they do go above and beyond what is expected of them.

happinessischocolate · 13/07/2021 12:51

I always gave the teachers and assistants a bar of green and blacks each, can't go wrong with chocolate and the kids wanted to give something. It's a bit awkward for the kids if everyone else is running up to the teacher with a pressie and they've got nothing to give.

Handmade card and chocolate. Sorted. (My user name kind of backs this up 😁)

onlyhereforthecake · 13/07/2021 12:57

Of course presents are not mandatory

When I like the teachers, I contribute to a collection to give them vouchers - better than unwanted tat - as a thank you.

If I am not specially grateful, I don't do anything.

CoffeeWithCheese · 13/07/2021 13:00

This year I'd get the class snail a chunk of cucumber as the employee who has actually done something beneficial for my kids... sod the teaching staff cos it's been a sod of a year.

I've made some cards for the staff so the kids can give to their teachers but that's it.

youdoyoutoday · 13/07/2021 13:02

I just get a couple of boxes of chocolates they can share for nursery and for our primary school, each of us in the class donate some money and 1 of the mums organises flowers and vouchers for the teacher and the TA. Works well for us.

SisterGabriel · 13/07/2021 13:25

Cards or emails (cc the Head) are the most appreciated things by me. No teacher expects a present.

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 13/07/2021 13:28

DS2 has 5 teachers. I'm buying a box of biscuits for the staffroom. Also, is this still a thing in secondary? DD2's in year 8, but they were in lockdown last year.

bridgetreilly · 13/07/2021 13:42

Card is fine. Child can decorate it/write their name etc if you want.

DeflatedGinDrinker · 13/07/2021 16:29

Nope not getting mine nothing.

TheNoodlesIncident · 13/07/2021 16:36

@LittleMG

As a teacher I didn’t like getting presents it made me feel weird, and it’s stuff I didn’t really want. A card would be really appreciated but parents a kind word goes a long way.

I told my son's Y2 teacher that he had told me that she was "the best teacher in the world". She welled up and thanked me with a wobble in her voice. She said it meant a lot to her...

I also used to make refrigerator cake at the end of the year for all the staff, not just ds's teacher. She told me gleefully how they all loved it (after careful enquiry about who had made it). I said I was slightly worried that they would just bin it all rather than risk it - thinking of MN threads - and she looked horrified and said they all dived on like vultures.

I supposed that if they didn't want refrigerator cake or the like, they needn't have it, but the main thing was that they felt appreciated.

lazylinguist · 13/07/2021 16:36

Dh and I are both teachers. We don't remotely expect presents and we rarely get presents for our dc's teachers. We only did when it was the end of having a brilliant form teacher who had had them for 4 years etc.

Blackhawkdown2020 · 13/07/2021 17:06

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

deedeemegadoodoo · 13/07/2021 17:15

Teacher here. I’d rather not get presents. However, I have kept every card and note. I like to look back at them occasionally when I find the box in a cupboard. The best ones are often the little scribbled notes on a torn piece of paper.

ILoveYouILoveYouIDo · 13/07/2021 17:26

Our teacher never receives tat. We hint at what gift card and that's what she gets from whole class. At least a £100 on it.

Just get a box of chocolates. Its showing gratitude at the end of the day..

SleepingStandingUp · 13/07/2021 18:09

@ILoveYouILoveYouIDo

Our teacher never receives tat. We hint at what gift card and that's what she gets from whole class. At least a £100 on it.

Just get a box of chocolates. Its showing gratitude at the end of the day..

How many staff in your children's class?

shivawn · 13/07/2021 18:27

Teacher is highly unlikely to care, I have a good few teacher friends and they all say that they don't think parents should be buying them gifts.

When I was in school none of my teachers ever got a gift, I don't know if it just wasn't the done thing back then or if my parents just couldn't be bothered!

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