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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they count as savings…

52 replies

Whatsyoursismine · 12/07/2021 20:49

DH and I have separate finances with a joint account that we pay into monthly for the mortgage, shopping, bills everything for DCs etc. We pay into the joint account in proportion to our earnings. I am the higher earner by approx 3x.

We both have some savings. Mine from my earnings. DH a from earnings and he also bought some bitcoins which are worth quite a bit more than when he bought them.

We are planning to make an overpayment on our mortgage. DH thinks we should do that in proportion to our savings, but not including his bitcoins. I get what he might not want to sell them at the moment and also understand I maybe have more capacity to top up my savings, but it feels unfair that all my assets count but not all of his.

AIBU to think its not fair to not count the bitcoins?

Ps. Please don’t suggest we should merge finances!! I work harder and do most to the DCs stuff so this is very much not a case where he’s sacrificed his career to look after the children.

OP posts:
HermioneWeasley · 12/07/2021 20:50

Of course they count

KrisAkabusi · 12/07/2021 20:53

I wouldn't necessarily count Bitcoin as savings. Theoretically they could be worthless in the morning. But he should be counting them as an asset at the moment and using some of them as an overpayment

Original poster
Whatsyoursismine · 12/07/2021 20:55

Yes, I could have worded it better. It doesn’t really matter if they are saving, but whether they count as an asset for working out our proportions.

OP posts:
JackieCollinshasnoauthority · 12/07/2021 20:56

I doubt it makes financial sense to cash in a long term investment to pay off the mortgage, especially as interest rates are so low. So I agree with him.

biting my lip about everything else

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 12/07/2021 20:56

@KrisAkabusi

I wouldn't necessarily count Bitcoin as savings. Theoretically they could be worthless in the morning. But he should be counting them as an asset at the moment and using some of them as an overpayment
On the day that they use them for the overpayment they will know how much they are worth and that value should go into the calculations. Why should he not have to contribute fairly because he chooses to save in a form that can go up and down in value. That's totally unfair on the OP

It doesn't matter about hypothetical future values.

GabriellaMontez · 12/07/2021 20:58

Why doesnt he think they count?

Blossomtoes · 12/07/2021 20:59

Why don’t you agree an amount to overpay and put in half each? I know you didn’t ask this but I’d be very reluctant to use savings to overpay the mortgage right now. Once it’s tied up it’s gone and I have an uneasy feeling that the economy’s in for a rough ride.

Essentialironingwater · 12/07/2021 21:01

I don't understand the proportional thing. If you're not merging finances just agree an amount you can go 50:50 on? Unless you'll benefit from the bitcoin it doesn't seem fair they should influence a lower contribution to a shared asset.

Original poster
Whatsyoursismine · 12/07/2021 21:01

He’s just said because they are an investment, not savings. Thinking it through…thanks for the input….Aibu really does help to clarify the thoughts. I think the issue is actually that if the bitcoins don’t count then I would be using my assets up and then he’d be left with his to do what he wants with (and he’s mentioned a mid-life crisis car…If I thought the investment (obviously if it didn’t crash) would be used for the family in due course maybe I wouldn’t be thinking it was unfair…

OP posts:
Eleoura · 12/07/2021 21:06

I'm surprised you refer to them as HIS bitcoins! DH and I don't even have a shared bank account (no kids either). He purchased a different crypto currency, but they are OURS. Even though he bought them, we have shared whenever we have sold any.

If some were sold- where would the money go? To something ONLY for him???

NewPapaGuinea · 12/07/2021 21:09

Bitcoins aren’t savings, they’re more an investment.

Fetasalad · 12/07/2021 21:14

I'd love to see the difference in reactions if a bloke had said don't suggest merging finances because he works harder!

Thislittlefinger123 · 12/07/2021 21:14

Why don't you copy him, invest some of your savings in a stocks and shares isa, then they're not savings are they? Using his logic they're investments and won't count Wink

Ps your DH is wrong. He wants to both contribute less because he earns less (OK, fair enough) and also even less because of what form his savings take? ? Nope.

EugeniaGrace · 12/07/2021 21:14

While I agree that they are one of his assets. I also think that if he doesn’t want to cash them in now and he is willing to risk them crashing, he shouldn’t be forced to cash them in to overpay the mortgage.

What is more important to you now, the ratio of the overpayment or how much is paid off?

One compromise could be sticking to the ratio you are happy with but your dh decides how much he has readily available to pay off the mortgage and you match that to the ratio you (so you pay off less but do it equally).

Then you can find another investment or buy yourself a present with the money you could have paid off the mortgage with but are holding back from doing just now.

PatsyJStone · 12/07/2021 21:19

I’m for you investing the same amount in something else, even if it’s just a separate account, then working out the contributions toward the mortgage payment, excluding the matching ‘savings’.

If he can have the option of a midlife crisis car, you should also be ble to have the same.

EugeniaGrace · 12/07/2021 21:22

Definitely start referring to your savings you are not going to spend on the mortgage as your Alfa Romeo account to drive the point home!

MilduraS · 12/07/2021 21:29

I think they should count as the sum total of his savings to work out his contribution but as someone who also has Bitcoin, now is not the time to sell it.

Chloemol · 12/07/2021 21:49

Bitcoins maybe an investment ,but you also invest cash into savings accounts, the point is those savings earn interest, ie are invested. (Albeit it’s a pittance at the moment)

Therefore all investments, it bitcoins and savings accounts are assets you own

So it counts

Teeturtle · 12/07/2021 21:50

I couldn’t get excited about it, your finances aren’t separate, no matter how much you say they are, your assets are joint.

Howshouldibehave · 12/07/2021 21:51

I would be buying an ‘investment’ piece of jewellery to the same value as his bitcoins.

Ohpulltheotherone · 12/07/2021 22:00

If I were you I’d probably take my “overpayment” money and pay it into stocks and shares isa (or non isa account if you already have one)

Then I’d just leave that money there and overpay the mortgage in lump sum as and when I had a nice chunk (within the limits of the mortgage obvs).

I couldn’t be bothered to overpay if my DP wasn’t overpaying out of some ridiculous notion that his full income doesn’t count. And despite being an investment, bitcoins should be viewed as an income bc the whole idea is that you gain income from them - otherwise why bother.

All that said, if you’re married it really makes no odds - regardless if the money is in Bitcoin, cash, bricks and mortar it is still open to a 50/50 split.

If you’re not happy paying more in then calculate what the amount would be for you based on his % savings to yours excluding the Bitcoin. So you’re both still only paying equally balanced proportions. You’ll still be paying more in £s but a fair proportion split.
Then invest the rest. You’ll get 10% average on index and a mortgage is usually only 2-3% so the maths makes sense really.

Cailleachian · 12/07/2021 22:05

I am a crypto-head, I feel his anguish at the thought of selling bitcoin, but that isnt an excuse not to pay your way.

What I would do in this situation is buy the bitcoins from him with an agreement that he will buy them back at either market price or cost of sale whichever is higher.

So say you have £40k in savings, he has £10k in savings and £50k worth of bitcoin. In total there is £100k

You want to make a £20k overpayment which is 1/5 of the total amount. So you should pay £8k and he should pay £12k, so to pay his share he would need to sell his bitcoins.

So how about you offer to "buy" £2k of bitcoin to you on the understanding that he will buy it back from you at some point in the future for either what he sold it to you for, or the current market price whichever is higher.

Make sure he does actually transfer ownership of them to you however, or you will never get your money back.

MinkeDinkie · 12/07/2021 22:26

So by his logic Stocks & Shares ISAs don't count as savings either?

Fair enough if he doesn't think it makes financial sense to cash them in now - but they are still assets that should be considered in joint financial decisions

IceLace100 · 12/07/2021 22:55

Am I missing something?

You guys are married right? You're one financial "unit". So you own all assets, savings, Bitcoin etc together. So why are you talking about his money vs your money?

Also why would you overpay the mortgage? Interest rates are super low. Why not invest the money instead?

NavigatingAdolescence · 12/07/2021 23:01

Don’t forget potential Capital Gains Tax on cashing out bitcoins. (Depending on how much.)