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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they count as savings…

52 replies

Whatsyoursismine · 12/07/2021 20:49

DH and I have separate finances with a joint account that we pay into monthly for the mortgage, shopping, bills everything for DCs etc. We pay into the joint account in proportion to our earnings. I am the higher earner by approx 3x.

We both have some savings. Mine from my earnings. DH a from earnings and he also bought some bitcoins which are worth quite a bit more than when he bought them.

We are planning to make an overpayment on our mortgage. DH thinks we should do that in proportion to our savings, but not including his bitcoins. I get what he might not want to sell them at the moment and also understand I maybe have more capacity to top up my savings, but it feels unfair that all my assets count but not all of his.

AIBU to think its not fair to not count the bitcoins?

Ps. Please don’t suggest we should merge finances!! I work harder and do most to the DCs stuff so this is very much not a case where he’s sacrificed his career to look after the children.

OP posts:
Highfive2021 · 12/07/2021 23:12

Surely overpayment of the mortgage should be calculated the same way as all other bills based on income, why would it be any different?

shivawn · 12/07/2021 23:38

@IceLace100

Am I missing something?

You guys are married right? You're one financial "unit". So you own all assets, savings, Bitcoin etc together. So why are you talking about his money vs your money?

Also why would you overpay the mortgage? Interest rates are super low. Why not invest the money instead?

This all reads very odd to me too. I would hate for finances to be so awkward in my relationship.

We don't count our investments as part of our savings. You say your the higher earner by x3, are you not being a bit petty here?

PattyPan · 12/07/2021 23:53

I wouldn’t count Bitcoin as savings - they are not money. Only count them if you’d count other assets like art or wine.

PinkKecks · 13/07/2021 02:04

He's being unreasonable. Put all of your savings in an index tracking stocks and shares isa, then you don't have to count your savings in the money pool either.

Cailleachian · 13/07/2021 02:14

@Eleoura

I'm surprised you refer to them as HIS bitcoins! DH and I don't even have a shared bank account (no kids either). He purchased a different crypto currency, but they are OURS. Even though he bought them, we have shared whenever we have sold any.

If some were sold- where would the money go? To something ONLY for him???

Remember - they only belong to both of you if you both have the private key.

If you want either to be able to access it and trust the other to keep the seed safe, keep a copy each

If you want to only be able to spend it with both of your approval use a multisig

Who ever owns the private key to bitcoins owns the bitcoins.

Allington · 13/07/2021 02:25

I would be turning some of my 'savings' into 'investments'

chickenyhead · 13/07/2021 02:45

They count, he's having a giraffe

fluffythedragonslayer · 13/07/2021 07:54

I don't think they count. They are something he has bought with his money that he needs to sell in order to get the money back. They are a possession. Unless you are prepared to sell your possessions to free up all your money then he shouldn't be expected to sell his.

FlowerArranger · 13/07/2021 08:04

I would be turning some of my 'savings' into 'investments'

Indeed.

I would also re-evaluate this relationship as you don't seem to be on the same page about a few things.

Why is he earning so little, why are you left to deal with all child related stuff even though you work harder........ and what else is lurking beneath the surface. What's in it for you...

parietal · 13/07/2021 08:12

Bitcoin don't really count as savings. they are a high risk investment. they might be worth £50K today but could be only £20K tomorrow.

sell some of them and invest in a safer and more sensible asset like a vanguard EFT. Bitcoin should NEVER be your only investment.

TeenMinusTests · 13/07/2021 08:13

They aren't a possession imo as they have no use nor beauty, nor are they tangible in any way.

They are an investment like stocks & shares.
Investments are expected to be generally good over time but need to be kept for a few years at least and sold at the 'right' time.

I don't understand bitcoins so would never invest in them, my fear is that they are smoke and mirrors or the South Sea Bubble, though I suspect they are actually more substantial than that but still a gamble over unit trusts invested in the FTSE100.

Tal45 · 13/07/2021 08:26

Why don't you just invest some of your savings and then that won't count either ;-D

ChainJane · 13/07/2021 08:30

I don't understand, if you don't want to merge finances then why on earth do you expect him to cash in his Bitcoins? The whole point of not merging finances is so that you do not pay equally (the flipside being you can keep more of your shit).

Bitcoins aren't savings, they are an investment. The value of them could be wiped out overnight (and it will, at some point they will be worthless). The comparison to savings accounts doesn't work, because in savings accounts your money is protected.

Vetyveriohohoh · 13/07/2021 08:35

What are your savings in?

If cash isa/regular savings account it would make sense to use them first but why not pay for both of you out of that then he ‘gifts’ you the equivalent Bitcoin?

I’m with PPs though, the last thing I’d be looking to do with spare cash right now is overpay mortgage as rates are so low

Ooodlesofboodles · 13/07/2021 08:40

Every 5 years we take half our gains from investments that have done very well and reinvest them elsewhere. This stops your portfolio getting too unbalanced. Big winners can be volatile, and with crypto currencies I would definitely diversify. All his investment eggs are in one basket.
If you ISA allowance isn't maxed out I'd go for a stocks and shares isa and invest in etfs. They are cheap and track a whole index so relatively low risk. You just have to pick a theme or region that you think will perform well. Or keep it very simple and invest in Vanguard lifestrategy funds.

TimeForTeaAndG · 13/07/2021 08:41

Some of us are overpaying mortgages to pay off a bit extra before our fixed term ends (DH and I) then we can look at the next mortgage deal with less to borrow. It's not not sensible.

I don't understand cryptocurrency but if you are happy with separate finances then I would match his "investment" with your own.

grapewine · 13/07/2021 08:45

@Allington

I would be turning some of my 'savings' into 'investments'
Absolutely this.
DumplingsAndStew · 13/07/2021 08:55

I agree with a pp who suggested he calculate how much he has free and willing to overpay, then you match that 3x.

Or does he not want to overpay the mortgage?

Vetyveriohohoh · 13/07/2021 09:00

@TimeForTeaAndG unless your rate is high currently you’d still be better investing else where then paying a chunk off when your deal ends, unless another very low rate is available to you

PattyPan · 13/07/2021 09:38

I would add, not only are they not savings but I would treat them as outside of the finances - the FCA says if you invest in crypto you should be prepared to lose all of it.

@TeenMinusTests they are not more substantial than that, there are no fundamentals that drive their pricing like there are with shares - it is purely based on market sentiment.

Allington · 13/07/2021 09:41

If he chooses to invest in a risky product, no problem. As long as the OP gets to invest in their choice of product as well

Bluesheep8 · 13/07/2021 10:08

You guys are married right? You're one financial "unit". So you own all assets, savings, Bitcoin etc together. So why are you talking about his money vs your money?

This. And the person who earns more money doesn't necessarily work harder.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 13/07/2021 10:09

Just put a load of your savings into stocks and shares then they dont 'count' either

GabriellaMontez · 13/07/2021 17:03

That's easy then. As others have said. Put your savings into investments. Then they don't count. Really, I suspect he doesn't want to do this at all or feels you should do more.

jasjas1973 · 13/07/2021 17:11

You have separate savings but the house is joint ownership?

So the way round this is to just pay off an amount that is an affordable (for both of you) 50/50, so say 20k, 10k each and not bother with dividing up what counts or not.

Bitcoin is an odd one, i can see both sides ... so to speak!