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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask Mumsnet to decide if I should take this job?

36 replies

Theghostofchristmasarse · 12/07/2021 19:48

I'll try to keep this short...😂

Art teacher, been head of a large department of 8 and now a smaller one from this year onwards of 2, been in the school 13 years....mainstream, grammar. Love it, mostly. Hate the managing part of it, been nothing but stress. Long ish drive, spend 120 to 180 on petrol each month during term time. Am though part time, but I do need to be full time and asked earlier this year, but was turned down due to not enough teaching. I've noticed in the last year or so that younger staff who tend to sing their own praises seem to get what they want...offered promotion without interview or process, given choices over curriculum that don't make sense for the children but keep staff happy, etc. It does gall. The newish head seems to make easy decisions even though they aren't great for the kids to make sure he's not the bad guy.

I've been there a long time and I'm feeling restless...however, it's safe. If I do get full time is be on a good amount. I like the people I work with, mostly. Behaviour is ok and I can deal with it, but I do find the older classes more rewarding, less stressful. 32 boys can have a bit of a mob mentality and can be hard work, not easy to get to know them on an hour a week. It's easy in lots of ways, I could concentrate on other things, like a business I started before lockdown. I could make it more exciting in this next year, possibly by introducing a few things, but the arts never do very well in an academic environment.
I get to leave day a fortnight to get my children from school, although to be honest that can be stressful with the drive. We get Friday afternoons for training and there aren't any after school meetings.
I'm skint because I really need 5 days, to give me a buffer zone. I'm a single parent and the easiness is lovely, and suits my children now, but kind of boring. I kind of feel like if I stay that's me until I retire now (I'm 44). I also work with my boyfriend but we are a secret because of work...it's nice I get to see him briefly every day, but it can cause issues because of gossip. We've talked lots and he'd be excited for me to get a new job and we've both said how much it would do our relationship good, to not talk about work and to be able to be totally honest about is if I went. He's looking for jobs too.

Saw a job after a particularly difficult day.. working in a SEMH school. Very challenging behaviour but lots of staff, small classes. Lots of support. Staff seem very happy. They stay years and years. They all say the staff team are amazing and they support each other.

Teaching art and DT, so I'd have to learn new skills, but that would be exciting. Only classes of 6 for that. I'd get to grow the department, develop it hopefully. I'd have to start with what I have which is basic, but there's potential. It's full time, salary to be decided but I'd hope to be getting at least what I would full time at my school, I could go slightly less as it wouldn't actually work out much less. No managing any staff, just involving the LSA in the room with the lesson. Possibly more practical work to manage, I can't imagine there's much budget for art.
I could collect my children from school every Friday and drive my eldest to school every morning, possibly collect her. Which would mean no 1.7 mile walk for her. I'd be in the town I live in, with a 15 min commute, 20 tops.

It's a risk though. What if I hated it...I couldn't leave, as I'd never get another HOD job like the one I've got.

It's basically comfortable and easy but boring, or risky, challenging, scary and exciting, more money sooner and guaranteed. I'd basically be doing half a day more a week for over 300 more a month. But it's scary! And I'd be sad to leave my friends and colleagues, plus I'd miss some of the kids I've got great relationships with.

I keep thinking well it's obvious I should take it, and then thinking I'd be mad to leave where I am!

Ok, so yes take the new job, no, stay where I am...
Mumsnet jury, decide for me please! (Tonight if possible, I've got to let them know by 1pm!)

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 12/07/2021 19:50

Take the job

PeonyTime · 12/07/2021 19:54

Take the job.

Smarshian · 12/07/2021 19:55

Take the job definitely

Pumpkintopf · 12/07/2021 19:55

Have you been offered the other job, or just seen it advertised?
If offered, why don't you know how much you'd be paid?

TenShortStories · 12/07/2021 19:56

Given that you don't love the current job I'd say don't overstate the risk of disliking the new job - even if you hated some aspects of it you'd still have the short commute and seeing more of your own kids.

From the way you've told the story I think I'm leaning towards the new job (not totally obvious though as the security of the current one is definitely valuable).

Newchallenge · 12/07/2021 19:58

Take the job!

Theghostofchristmasarse · 12/07/2021 20:06

Sorry, yes, went to visit, spent a couple of hours there, then interview today. Got offered it an hour ago, they want a decision by tomorrow.

I don't know how much because whilst part of it is the pay scale, which is set (I'm on the highest possible as teaching 17 years) the second part is the SEN allowance, which is anything from 2 to 4.5k.

The allowance is 400 less than I'm on currently for that part of my role. But tax etc and petrol means that's only £20 less a month.

I don't know if theyd offer me the full allowance, I tried to get across that I couldn't accept for less than the full amount, but the head said we could talk once I've said I want it, and if I could start in October, which is a term earlier than usually I'd be allowed.

I don't think I could justify taking it without the full allowance. Although it's not a huge amount less each month, it is the yearly salary number in need, to allow me to take on a decent mortgage when the deal runs out in my house.

🤷 I'm so torn.

OP posts:
Alwaysthemiddle · 12/07/2021 20:16

Have you been into the school and spent some time there? I’d be tempted by the new job and the opportunity of change.

Theghostofchristmasarse · 12/07/2021 20:32

Yes, spent about 2 hours there a couple of weeks ago. Loved it, felt so calm, so professional. Lots of kids out of lessons, in corridors, but being helped by members of staff. Seems that teachers just get on with teaching and the LSA team deal with the behaviour.

I'd be teaching fun subjects, but I'd be struggling against the 'im rubbish at art' thing and the low confidence.

Massive challenge but so exciting.

OP posts:
Theghostofchristmasarse · 12/07/2021 20:35

And that's it. The exciting change. Feeling valued too I think. I certainly wasn't the easy choice for it, much cheaper and candidates who could start straight away.

OP posts:
Orangeinmybluelightcup · 12/07/2021 20:40

It sounds like you want to go for it! I think you should. If you don't then you might feel worse about your current job and end up regretting it.

HesterLee · 12/07/2021 20:44

I'm not sure if yes take the job is yabu or yanbu in the vote but yes, take the job. I reckon you will regret it if you don't.

Dangermouse80 · 12/07/2021 20:47

Take the job. You always regret it otherwise. Live for now not the what ifs.

Ellmau · 12/07/2021 20:51

Say you're keen but need to know the financial details before committing. But it does sound like it's the job for you.

chillied · 12/07/2021 20:51

Sounds to me like you do need to press the new head for clarity about the SEN allowance, otherwise you can't make an informed decision

Groovee · 12/07/2021 20:52

I think you should go for it.

Theghostofchristmasarse · 12/07/2021 20:56

It's a bit like Phoebe telling Rachel she wasn't pregnant in Friends...I think if someone said you'd be mad to leave I'd feel sad...😂

OP posts:
Alwaysthemiddle · 12/07/2021 21:07

It’s hard going out of your comfort zone. It might be the best thing or it might not. Sometimes I think you end up regretting the opportunities you don’t take.

Allnightlong2016 · 12/07/2021 21:23

Do it! Take the job. Life is short and I think that you’ll find working apart from your partner will make life a lot easier.

Theghostofchristmasarse · 12/07/2021 21:26

It's so scary making this decision on my own, knowing it's just me the kids rely on. If I hate it and can't find anything else then I'd be totally stuffed. But on the other hand I'd feel so fed up knowing I'm stuck in my current role for another 20 years.

OP posts:
Theghostofchristmasarse · 13/07/2021 16:40

Well after a very fraught day talking to my employer and loads of people at school, trying to make a decision and finally feeling I might take it....
They recinded the offer, as they realised they couldn't afford me. Then didn't give me chance to negotiate, then offered it to someone else. 🤷 Cheaper NQT, obvs.

Oh well, decision made! Very very pissed off though. They left me a voicemail!

OP posts:
PinkiOcelot · 13/07/2021 16:49

Wow. Can they just do that?! That’s awful. Sorry OP.

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 13/07/2021 16:55

Can they do that? Thats awful. Speak to your union

EL8888 · 13/07/2021 16:59

Wow that’s out of order. You may well have had a near miss there. Doesn’t sound pleasant or professional doing that

Theghostofchristmasarse · 13/07/2021 17:06

No. I think they just didn't realise, how I don't know, that they couldn't afford me. It wasn't even my SEN allowance, as I could have gone down on that, it wouldn't have affected my take home too much...it was my main salary! Which is obvious, they knew I'd been teaching 18 years, knew I was on the upper pay scale...🤷
I'm glad in a way but doesn't stop me feeling shit. Going to just make the best of what I have here and find a way for them to employ me full time again.
What grates is I went part time because my ex was bloody useless and I was so stressed trying to run the house and manage a huge department...now both of those stresses are gone. But I'm stuck on less money.

OP posts: