Devastated by England losing

[Footballsadness]

I don't even like football. I was oblivious to the fact the Euros was even on until we reached the final. I literally know the names of about 2 players. And yet I stayed up to watch the game yesterday and have felt like crying ever since. I just feel so sad for the players. And so sad for Gareth Southgate given his history with penalties.

I just cannot shake off this horrible sadness. Am I menopausal? Harbouring undiagnosed depression? Who the fuck knows! I just don't understand why this game of football has affected me so much.

Anyone else feeling the same?

I actually think that last night might have been harder to go through if you don’t usually watch football. Fans are well trained for the rollercoaster of emotions through years of experience and were realistic (or even pessimistic as it turns out) about expectations going in to the tournament.
I remember once watching a game that was massively important for my club. We were 3-0 up at half time and the biggest feeling we all had was about how painful it was going to be to lose it now - none of us were capable of considering the possibility we might actually win at that point. Last night felt the same.
Yes, the die hard fans do want the victory more, but they also have spent years building the kind of emotional resilience that gets you going back to the next game and the next, even when the team go through a terrible patch (whether it’s weeks, months, years or decades).

@SummerHouse thank you. I didn't know you could do that!

I've followed football all my life and I'm puzzled by your reaction.

England punched above their weight to get to the final and did very well during the game itself. Italy are one of the best teams in the world, used to winning, efficient and with lots of experience at delivering under pressure. UK media like to whip things into a frenzy but thinking with a cool head Italy had a higher chance of winning and they did.

Can you be happy and proud that England got to a final for the first time in ages and actually were not battered by Italy? If you can't, why? Crying and devastation seem a bit much for someone who doesn't even follow football.

I was devastated and teary mostly because I knew as a black woman, the abuse would be awful and we'd get lots of hate. And I was right. Feel terrible for all of them but I think they're awesome, especially Gareth Southgate

I feel the same OP and I'm Scottish. I was gutted for them last night and for Gareth Southgate . They did incredibly well getting to the Final and did us proud . Also so sad that Marcus Rashford and the other young lads got racism - those who did that are the lowest form of life . I don't think we have heard the last pf thos team and look forward to the World Cup.

same I'm not a football fan at all but I was really swept away with the excitement and anticipation of winning. I felt excited all yesterday as did my dd9, loved watching the England bus making its way to Wembley with people waving flags. What a feeling if they had won and lifted the trophy ! Feel really flat today and knackered

Possibly it could be the menopause OP, as you say? Look, at the end of the day, it’s a game. The ball goes one way; it goes the other.

There were 30 something teams at the start and England did brilliantly to get to the final two. Fantastic! And they didn’t actually lose on goals.

They did brilliantly and are an impressive team of great role models. But Italy were the better team on the night and I will say they deserved it. Well done Italy! No doubt they need a lift too. Covid hit them hard as well.

Nothing to be sad about at all OP. I don’t watch football either generally, but I do know it goes on and on and on....

They did really well. Many big teams didn’t get past the first round.

Please get a grip. It is a game. England lost a GAME. What is wrong with people? Nobody died, the world will still keep turning…. Life will carry on as normal. Many of us who are not football fans or not English have been utterly fed up with the whole thing for weeks. It’s been totally OTT and very annoying. I normally feel pretty neutral about whether England win, until it becomes something like this when the whole thing becomes so nauseating, I actively hope England lose- preferably by a country mile- so we don’t have to put up with the smug crowing that would accompany an England win. I get it’s not all England fans, but enough of them and the media are just ghastly. And no, i’m not jealous- I don’t care that Scotland aren’t great at football.

As as aside, I wouldn’t feel too sorry for the multi-millionaires who didn’t manage to kick a ball into the back of a net. Far less be crying about it. Yes, they’ll be very sad about it and regret, but it won’t ruin their lives and they’ll still be millionaires, paid vast sums for playing a game (albeit, very well). They’ll still be employed, they won’t be sacked and they’ll still be feted as “hero’s”.

People do harder, more dangerous or important jobs every day and will not earn in their entire lifetime what some of those players earn in a year and without any of the recognition or praise. I dare say the footballers will survive losing this game and the tournament.

The racist tweets are unbelievable and truly disgusting and I hope whoever posted that are exposed to the world and put away. But let’s not let that mentality drag us down. It gives diabolical individuals far more power than they deserve. The vast majority are proud of the diversity and solidarity shown by that team.

Don't be sad that they lost, but rather that all people will remember about the tournament is England supporters directing racist hate directed towards their black players. Embarrassing.

I’ll say to you what I said to my (devastated but now resigned and proud) 9yo.

Don’t focus on what they didn’t do. Focus on what they did.

They got further than any England team in half a century. And the result couldn’t have been any closer. In terms of skill and performance, they acquitted themselves well.

Throughout, they conducted themselves with decency, dignity and compassion.

They embraced tolerance and positivity and gave the nation something good and positive to unify around after a particularly toxic period.

Don’t dwell on the single thing they didn’t achieve. Embrace and celebrate all that they did, and in doing so give two fingers to the racists and moaners who are giving them a verbal beating today.

They deserve better.

Presumably we'll have to endure all this again next year for the World Cup, so the England team might get another chance?

@jacks11

Please get a grip. It is a game. England lost a GAME. What is wrong with people? Nobody died, the world will still keep turning…. Life will carry on as normal. Many of us who are not football fans or not English have been utterly fed up with the whole thing for weeks. It’s been totally OTT and very annoying. I normally feel pretty neutral about whether England win, until it becomes something like this when the whole thing becomes so nauseating, I actively hope England lose- preferably by a country mile- so we don’t have to put up with the smug crowing that would accompany an England win. I get it’s not all England fans, but enough of them and the media are just ghastly. And no, i’m not jealous- I don’t care that Scotland aren’t great at football.

As as aside, I wouldn’t feel too sorry for the multi-millionaires who didn’t manage to kick a ball into the back of a net. Far less be crying about it. Yes, they’ll be very sad about it and regret, but it won’t ruin their lives and they’ll still be millionaires, paid vast sums for playing a game (albeit, very well). They’ll still be employed, they won’t be sacked and they’ll still be feted as “hero’s”.

People do harder, more dangerous or important jobs every day and will not earn in their entire lifetime what some of those players earn in a year and without any of the recognition or praise. I dare say the footballers will survive losing this game and the tournament.

I'm sure the OP feels a lot better after reading this

@DrDresaid yes, I expect OP has quickly got over her sadness thanks to that sensitive explanation of the 'facts'!

I’m devastated at the racist abuse those 3 young men are being subject to as a result. I’ve spent the day feeling so so sad that this is still so prevalent.

I feel the same, OP. I feel like I got far too emotionally invested in this tournament- usually I don’t even like football! But to be fair, I think it was difficult NOT to get invested as it was literally everywhere...

It is what it is though and there’s no point dwelling on it. We’ll just have to wait for the World Cup next year and go through it all over again

As I've posted before I'm considered bad luck so am banned from watching but it doesn't seem to work in the football or the rugby! I watched Darkest Hour, hoping for a Churchillian infuence and in the closing titles was this quote-

Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts

I may get tickets for the World Cup, blow the curse!

I refuse to attach my happiness to the outcome of something like a football game, I enjoyed it a but but am not looking forward to it happening all again next year.

@Madwife123

I’m devastated at the racist abuse those 3 young men are being subject to as a result. I’ve spent the day feeling so so sad that this is still so prevalent.

The abuse is terrible but I don't think it's so prevalent, sadly the media is more interested in the actions of a very small minority.

@JassyRadlett

I’ll say to you what I said to my (devastated but now resigned and proud) 9yo.

Don’t focus on what they didn’t do. Focus on what they did.

They got further than any England team in half a century. And the result couldn’t have been any closer. In terms of skill and performance, they acquitted themselves well.

Throughout, they conducted themselves with decency, dignity and compassion.

They embraced tolerance and positivity and gave the nation something good and positive to unify around after a particularly toxic period.

Don’t dwell on the single thing they didn’t achieve. Embrace and celebrate all that they did, and in doing so give two fingers to the racists and moaners who are giving them a verbal beating today.

They deserve better.

Exactly, I hope your son can get over this quickly, as a football fan it's something to get used to, sadly,

I'm more upset about the Italian fans being battered by the England fans

I just see it now as we came second out of so maby countries...we did so well. And Italy did play better in the 2nd round. They seemed to be a tighter team before the penslties.
It is sad for us though.

@Madwife123

I’m devastated at the racist abuse those 3 young men are being subject to as a result. I’ve spent the day feeling so so sad that this is still so prevalent.

I'm horrified by the abuse, I thought those days were over

Many*

I love football, and for many years.
When my national team was knocked the other day (pens as well) I felt terrible...for 10 minutes maybe.
During the match I was like "I won't cope if they lose". And then I was actually fine.
I support a club which has a history of losing in Champion's League, you get used to that.

I think there's something around grieving an idealistic idea of what could have happened if they won. The parties, the joy everywhere...but this fades too.

My national team has won the World Cup several times, I swear that within 72h, everything is back to normal, business as usual 😂