Rehoming kitten - how to tell 6 year old?

[WildflowerWildfire]

I’m suffering with my mental health a lot lately, and it’s being made much worse by my new kitten and my current cat hating each other and constantly fighting, hissing, and the little one literally tearing chunks of fur out of my older one. Not to mention litter tray issues and finding shit in my daughters pyjama drawer today 😩. I can’t cope any longer.

I feel tearful every day and can’t manage with this extra stress. I know I’m being unreasonable for giving up on an animal but I’ve tried my hardest with no success. How do I tell my daughter? She’s going to be heartbroken and it’s all my fault.

Happy outcome, thanks for updating. Hope the older cat is now being loving and kind.

My DD’s dad (we’re separated) has kindly agreed to have the kitten as he was planning on getting a cat anyway. So as much as I’ll miss him, I’m so glad that DD will still have him in her life and that he’ll still have the familiarity of her in his new home when she goes round there.

That’s a really good update OP. Is your daughter ok with this?

@WildflowerWildfire I disagree. I’ve had cats all my life and a mature cat that has lived on its own for its whole adult life will rarely be happy about another cat being introduced to the household. It’s extremely stressful for them.

Don’t try to defend yourself - it wasn’t a good idea and it’s not just “bad luck”. We all fuck up but at least own it. Re-home the kitten (the sooner the better), explain to your daughter, both parties will get over it soon enough - but just don’t do it again.

@Fr0thandBubble if you read the updates, you’d see that I have re-homed the kitten.

@SupermanWithTheGreyHair DD is very happy with the arrangement

Curious to know the origins of the kitten - how long was he with his Mother and litter siblings before he came to you? Was he born in someone's home or in a home for cats i.e. caged?

I have accidentally learned a lot about cats in the past year since a feral cat [now spayed] brought 4 kittens to my garden at 6 weeks old. A second cat [booked in for spaying] then gave birth to a further 2 in our garden May just gone. Those first 8 to 12 weeks with Mother and siblings are so so crucial to healthy socialisation. I have now re-homed 6 kittens and all of them settled in well to new homes - 2 of them into a home with another kitten and older cat. I really do think those first few months dictate a lot in terms of future behaviour. Unfortunately, so many kittens are separated from their families way way too young - and once that happens, it's very difficult to compensate later.

That’s such a brilliant solution! So pleased for you @WildflowerWildfire and littleWildflowerWildfire.

DD is very happy with the arrangement

I am pleased for you and your daughter. I was reading the thread before you said her dad would have the cat, and thinking your daughter was going to be heartbroken. It will be lovely for her to have a cat in both homes. Hopefully the 2 cats will now be much happier as well and your mental health will improve. I hope you have good support around you.

You’ve done the right thing op, and it’s good the dds dad is taking the kitten.

You’ve done what you needed to do and what is best all round, I say this as a cat owner. Sometimes you have to hold your hands up and say enough! I’ve been there.
It’s Not an easy decision to make though but the right one!

I’ve always had cats very rarely have they been litter mates and there’s no way of knowing how introductions will go. I’ve had cats who will accept any new cat that came into the house with no bother. And I’ve had a cat that would not accept any newcomers for a very long time. Even then he was rather reluctant!

My youngest cat was rehomed to me as she was in a situation exactly like yours although there was only a few weeks between them and she was the one getting beaten up!

Yet she was accepted by my (4 adult) cats within a week or two no issues.
So until you actually try you don’t know how introductions will go.