To feel that men use dating apps because they have poor social skills

[Fruitypie2021]

Hi

I’m possibly exploring the idea of dating apps, although I do prefer meeting people organically.

Am I being unreasonable to think that men that use dating apps usually have poor social skills in real life, hence why they use dating apps?

This is a factor that is putting me off, because I really don’t want to deal with that….

I also don’t buy the excuse that ‘people that use dating apps may use them due to not having time to meet people in real life’ because that also leads me to think that if that is the reason you’re on a dating app, surely you also won’t have time for a relationship…

Well by your definition then you also have poor social skills considering you are considering using them....

Does this blanket-thinking of yours apply to women as well, or just men?

If you think it doesn't, you're being misandrist.
If you think it does - how are your social skills?

So does that apply to women too?

I should say my comment about men’s social skills is based off previous experience . I met my ex on a dating app, and based on a guy I met before meeting him, as well as some things regarding my ex, that’s why I have these thoughts

I met my husband on a dating app and he has better social skills than I do it's about convenience of meeting people.

@PumpkinKlNG

So does that apply to women too?

I don’t date women, nor have I met women on dating apps so I can’t speak on this.

Of course its not true. Some men on dating sites have exceptionally poor social skills. So do some women. Most people on dating sites, men and women, are pretty normal, and just out there looking for someone to connect to.

And women use dating apps because….?

FWIW I know men who have used dating apps and who say they meet just as many nightmare women as women here seem to say they meet nightmare men.

@Pedalpushers

I met my husband on a dating app and he has better social skills than I do it's about convenience of meeting people.

Thank you for sharing 😊

So why do women use dating apps? Must apply to you too

You know women use them too right?

It's just one of the ways people meet these days. When I was growing up you didn't meet strangers from the internet because they might be serial killers but obviously all that has changed

Well you’re on a dating app, why are you “better” than the men on there? Why do you think their reasons differ in any way to yours?

I wonder is there's a bloke on Dadsnet asking the same question about women .

I would say it's a reqlly convenient way of meeting people. In the absence of a social life for the past 15 months it's so hard to meet new people.

I can see why older people use them, it is harder to meet people organically in your 40s, your friends are married, you have children and limited free time.

But...you want to use a dating app.

I met my DH through OLD and his social skills are perfectly adequate. Your line of thinking is really quite odd - why would you think men join because they're socially inadequate but women join because...?

I used a dating app. I just wasn't meeting anyone organically. I don't go to pubs, I worked alone. My hobbies tend to draw a female crowd. What was I supposed to do?

Your attitude towards men is the problem not men's social skills.

In 20 years time you'll still be single and moaning about how there are no good men or all the good ones are gone.

Yes, utterly ridiculous and unreasonable. Obviously there are some on there with poor social skills, move on and speak to the next! The vast majority are just normal guys. I've met maybe 10/11 people from OLD and none of them have had poor social skills in real life. If they had I wouldn't have met them

Maybe it wasn’t them, but you OP

Oh the irony

No it's just an easier way to meet people. I've met guys in real life who have little to no social skills. I met some amazing guys on dating apps including my now dh. He has great social skills.

If you mean social skills as in confident enough to go up to a girl in a bar and buy her a drink then maybe but there's far more to social skills than that. Plus I don't like bars so why would I want that kind of thing anyway.

Personally think you sound a bit bitter towards men. Give them a chance - you may be suprised

Nope, I think you're on your own here op. I met several perfectly lovely men OLD including my now partner of several years. He's not he type to chat someone up in a bar or at work and I think men are really quite wary now of that in this #metoo world. When you're in you're 30s/40s/50s people don't necessarily want to spend months / years getting closer.

Its just normal to chat online before meeting these days. And probably because of that harder to approach someone you don't know in a bar and not seem like a creep.

If by social skills you mean men are finally getting the message not to harass women in bars and are using a mutual app instead to make a connection…YABVU