Was I rude ?

[Savedbythegym]

Fil brought round a card presents and flowers for my birthday I thanked him when he dropped them off to me, in the card was mil bil and fil name I went to see mil and co today and thanked bil but didn't thank mil despite her asking me if I had a nice birthday ? Was I being rude ?

Yup, that was rude.

Sounds like it.

Yes. MIL should have been thanked too.

Yes

Rude.

Well technically, I suppose you were.

I am sure she had more to do with it than bil.

But you/she (since this sounds like a reverse) may have thought fil passed on his thanks. Or it slipped your/her mind.

Is there a particular reason you/she didn't thank her/you?

Rude. I bet this is a reverse!

Would you be okay with buying someone flowers and a card and sending your DH our to deliver them, and then not being thanked?

Was there a particular reason you didn't thank her?

This is so obviously rude that I'm guessing you are MIL?

Bit odd really, why didn’t you thank her?

Fucking rude actually.

Thought you were not going round there any more

Erm yeah you were

@pudcat

Thought you were not going round there any more

Oh is it one of those hardly any details despite a huge and probably relevant back story posts?

This is a very crap attempt at a reverse.

Reverse? What’s the reason that MIL would not be acknowledged when FIL and BIL have been thanked?

Sounds like a reverse, because you were so obviously rude.
Bit rude not to thank her (call or text) after receiving - but you actually thank her son (who will have had fuck all to do with it, and possibly not even know his name was in the card) but not her.

Must be a reverse. Of course it's rude to openly thank 1 and not the other. I never understand why people do these reverse threads.

Yes it is a reverse but didn't want to come across as mil bashing on here, mil thanked partner when she received the presents she come to ours today thanked our dd twice and also thanked my mum for the card ( my mum was here too ) but said nothing to me despite my name being in the card etc

Reverses don't work.

You aren't her, she may have thought she did. Or it slipped her mind.

Your op, might as well say 'I purposely didn't thank mil, just to be rude....do you think she noticed...was I rude enough?'

When you don't really know why she didn't thank you

So it's perfectly normal to come in and thank everyone but one person ?

@Savedbythegym you're massively overthinking something that could be a simple error on her part.

However if you now cite a decade of rudeness and lack of engagement by your DIL or massive intrusiveness on your part where she's asked you repeatedly to butt out or where the relationship is badly damaged, how can we know?

@Savedbythegym

So it's perfectly normal to come in and thank everyone but one person ?

We don't know. Because we don't know her, or you and we weren't there.

She may have thought that when she thanked your dh, that was thanks to both of you. You said she thanked you dh when he dropped the flowers off.

You didn't say she thanked dh again. And everyone else and purposely left you out.

If I said thank you to one part of a couple that dropped off a gift, I would expect the thanks to be passed to their partner.

But I also get her thanking your child individually, because kids love that. And your mum, didn't have anything to do with your present.

As I said above, it really depends on the situation and why she didn't. Which I am guessing you don't know. You are guessing she did it on purpose but don't know.

Reverses are twatty.